


A Marriage of Inconvenience

by WhinyWingedWinchester



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, Assassins & Hitmen, Awesome Frigga (Marvel), BAMF Phil Coulson, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, FrostIron - Freeform, Healing, Homesickness, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Insecure Loki, Insecure Tony, Knights - Freeform, Language of Flowers, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nightmares, Norse Mythology - Freeform, Pirates, Poisoning, Prima nocta, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Thor (Marvel), Sickness, Slow Burn, The Princess Bride - Freeform, The Princess Bride References, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-08-05 03:14:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 80,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16359644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhinyWingedWinchester/pseuds/WhinyWingedWinchester
Summary: Forced into an arranged marriage with Prince Loki of Aysgarth, Tony knows that he is not the ideal husband to the son of a king, but he still hopes that he might find true love with his husband like the stories he loves to read of adventures and happily-ever-afters.Prince Loki, however, does not wish to be married, and he makes this clear to Tony even after their vows have been said before the priest. Life is no better for Tony in Castle Aysgarth than it was back in Iron Reach - he is as unwanted by Loki as he was by his father.But slowly, things change. There is a steadily growing affection between them, something that might, perhaps, grow into more and Tony can only hope his love for Loki might one day be returned.But then an assassin strikes unexpectedly, pirates attack, and Tony very well might be living an adventure from one of his books, but it looks like happily-ever-after might be too much to hope for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - there's mentions of Prima Nocta/rape throughout this fic. This is never shown/expanded upon beyond mention and a threat. 
> 
> Prima Nocta refers to a supposed legal right in medieval Europe, allowing feudal lords to have sexual relations with subordinate women, in particular, on their wedding nights. 
> 
> <3

_‘Do I love you? My god, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.’_

Anthony sighed and closed his book gently, resting it in his lap. _The Princess Bride_ had always been a favourite of his. He knew that quote inside and out, and had hoped that one day, he would be so lucky as to meet someone who loved him the way Buttercup and Westley loved one another. Someone who accepted his… quirks, and yet loved him regardless.

And his father had ripped that chance away from him.

In all his twenty-three years, Lord Anthony Stark was positive he’d never hated someone as much as he hated his father. The Duke of Iron Reach, Howard Stark was a cruel and dispassionate man. He was greedy and selfish, and his trade partners more so. Howard liked the finer things in life, and he didn’t care whose lives he ruined in his quest to have them.

_He who has the gold makes the rules, Anthony._

He ruled his lands with an iron fist, and his son was treated much the same.

_Stark men are made of Iron. We do not bend. We do not break. We are strong._

But that was a lie. His father had broken, and their land suffered for it.

When Her Grace, the Duchess Maria passed away in childbirth with his second child, Howard became even more ruthless. He introduced new laws forbidding more than two children per household, taxes that were just shy of driving the lands to ruin and reintroduced a truly barbaric law - _prima nocta_. Every so often he would leave the house when word arrived of a wedding in the land, and he would return the next morning relaxed and sated, and Anthony would pray for the person whose wedding night he’d ruined.

Anthony despised it. He had nothing but pity for the poor women and men involved.

Howard was merciless in ensuring these laws were upheld. He would send ‘healers’ to the homes of women who found themselves with child if there were already two in the home, and they would leave when they were no longer with child. The rest of the Iron Reach nobles had been his father’s most loyal advocates in his enforcement of these laws, as they were the ones to go in Howard’s place if he was unable to travel.

Anthony was ashamed to admit that the times the people of their lands had approached him to implore - to _beg_ \- for mercy, for leniency, he’d never asked Howard again after the first time. It had taken months for his face and back to heal after his father had finished with him, and only the careful tending by the family’s doctor Yinsen, an odd man from a far-off land across the great seas, had kept him from scarring and losing his sight.

So he would nod, and give them softly spoken assurances that he would do his best to temper his father’s rule, only to be violently ill from guilt when he was alone again. When his father had forbid him from leaving the Manor when he turned sixteen he’d been almost relieved at first, before the guilt overcame him again. The concerns of the people had fallen on the deaf ears of his father’s council, the gold lining their pockets ensuring their loyalty to Howard.

And now… now Anthony was to be married to a prince from the Royal Lands to the North, the youngest son of King Odin and Queen Frigga. He stared blankly out the window of his carriage, barely paying any attention to the lands they were travelling through, his father’s parting words still echoing in his mind.

 _“You will not fail in this, Anthony. Keep him pleased and satisfied, and remember that you_ belong _to him. You will do your best to keep him happy. Accept the Prince, accept the crown it will give you and for once in your life_ make me proud! _This is the only way for the Stark name to make it into the Royal Family! And for heaven’s sake, do_ not _speak unless you must! Your speech is deplorable.”_

Anthony had murmured a quiet, “Of course, Father”, in response and been grateful that for once he’d not stammered his words. It wasn’t his fault that he stammered. Yinsen had told him it was just how his mind processed everything now, and his stammer became much more pronounced and difficult to stop when he was anxious, or dealing with some great emotion.

Anthony had been fine as a very young child, but when his mother died giving birth to his younger sibling, Anthony had been in the room. Had seen his mother screaming, pleading and _begging_ to live, to have her child saved. But the Gods had not been listening that night. There had been a frightful storm raging outside, and during one extremely loud crash of thunder, six-year old Anthony had seen his beautiful mother die.

In the small space between the thunder rolling and the lightning flashing through the window of her room, she had slipped away from him. He’d never stepped foot in that room since, no matter how many times the maids told him all the blood was gone, he knew if he stepped inside, all he would see is the ocean of blood on the floor and his mother’s empty eyes staring back at him. He shuddered, and shifted to rest his cheek against the window.

Anthony sighed and closed his eyes. Apparently his thoughts were drifting towards sad and maudlin today. This was the furthest from Iron Reach he’d ever been, and they were still hours away from Castle Aysgarth, having crossed the border sometime during the night. He knew his future husband wouldn’t be pleased to see him arriving with tired eyes and a sad disposition.

He had heard little of the Prince Loki, but from all accounts he was a cold, sometimes cruel man with little interest outside of his library and gardens. His brother, the Crown Prince Thor, was the greatest warrior in the land and his wife was rumoured to be just as bloodthirsty as he. She had been a princess in the Kingdom of Rutherglenn, her brother James now it’s ruler after their father’s death.

The King Odin Asgeir and Queen Frigga were the ninth rulers of their name, and Aysgarth was a prosperous and happy land. Their borders were well defended; battles and border skirmishes were few and far between.

Smothering another sigh into his palm, Anthony tried to wrangle his thoughts back under control as he fidgeted with the book in his lap. All he wanted was to go home, curl up in his favourite chair by the big window in the library with a cup of tea and lose himself in a book.

Instead, he was travelling alone with only his Knights for company to wed a man he’d never met, his fate sealed in a letter, an ivy leaf pressed between the pages.

The rest of the journey passed much the same. Anthony drifted in and out of a light doze as he tried to read his book, finally waking up fully when his Coachman, Hogan, tapped on the front of the carriage and announced they were arriving.

Anthony watched with wide eyes as the enormous Castle of Aysgarth came into view. His home in the Iron Reach Manor wasn’t small by any means - they were a prosperous land on an iron vein - but this was a new level of grandeur. Where his home was greystone and battle-scarred, the Aysgarth Castle was pristine.

White stone towers and turrets sat behind a wall of grey and blue stone, green grass, tall trees and a truly magnificent flower garden as far as Anthony could see. It was late autumn and yet the grounds were still in bloom. They crossed the bridge to the main gate and he stared in awe at the sight of the inner castle. The stables were enormous, easily double the size of the ones back home, and he could see at least another four buildings he had no idea the purpose of.

“What am I _doing_ ,” he whispered to himself, the first true flutterings of panic in his stomach making themselves known. He wiped his suddenly sweaty hands on his trousers and straightened his cloak fastenings. It was colder here in the North than it was back in his homelands, and he was immensely grateful to his Knights and Jarvis for gifting him the fur lined cloak he wore.

Gods knew his father hadn’t thought to do so.

The carriage came to a sudden, jarring halt then and Anthony could hear voices outside.

 _This is it_ . He swallowed hard and took a deep, steadying breath. _I can do this._

Anthony snuck a peek out the window and gasped quietly. They were all _huge_. Anthony knew he was of a smaller stature; he took almost completely after his mother. But these Northerners were the tallest people he’d ever laid eyes upon, bigger even than Sir Steven, his second Knight. And the King wore a solid gold eyepatch over one eye, like the pirates in his stories back home.

 _Oh Gods, what am I_ doing _here?!_

He took a deep breath to steady himself and stepped out gracefully when Hogan opened his door, giving his Lord a reassuring smile as he bowed out of his way. Hogan had been serving his family since before he was born, and Anthony took strength from the firm and familiar hand that gripped his elbow as he stepped out.

“Steady little Lord,” he said softly, his gruff voice an immediate comfort. Anthony gave him a shaky nod and tried to remember how to breathe.

“Thank you, Hogan,” he mumbled as he got his feet steady on the ground. Hogan gave him a nod and stood back to close the door, and take his seat back at the front of the carriage.

Anthony tightened his cloak about him as a cold wind cut through his clothing, and kept his head down as he followed Sir James to the steps where the royal family was gathered to welcome him.

**~*~**

“He is _tiny_ ,” Queen Frigga whispered as the Lord stepped out of the carriage, a visible shiver running through him before he pulled his cloak tighter about him. “Lady Natasha, he will need feeding and care.” She frowned at the forlorn little figure making his way behind his Knight to them, the rest of his Order of Chivalry standing at guard by the carriage.

“I do wish Loki weren’t being so stubborn,” she sighed, “it is most impolite for him to not be here to welcome his intended.”

The Lady Natasha nodded in agreement, her long red curls bouncing about her head as she did. She smoothed her hands down her dress to flatten the silk panels. “He looks terrified,” she whispered back, and shifted closer to her husband to slip her hand into his. “Thor, husband, we cannot let Loki hurt him.”

Thor nodded his agreement, running a hand over his thick beard as he watched Lord Anthony approach. “Aye wife, we shall keep careful watch over him as best we can. He looks like one of the fae folk, does he not? For a man of three and twenty, he is very small.” Natasha’s bright green eyes lit up when she saw Anthony finally look up from the ground.

“Oh,” she breathed, her mouth tugging up into a reluctant smile. He was _stunning_ to look at. Finely boned, fair skinned and with the biggest brown eyes she’d ever seen, framed with long, dark lashes, and barely taller than herself. Dark curly hair brushed his collar, a plain golden circlet resting atop them and he was chewing at his bottom lip. Thor chuckled and pressed a fond kiss to the top her head, mindful of the points on her crown.

“Steady beloved,” he rumbled softly. “We do not want to startle the poor darling, hm?”

Lord Anthony was walking behind his Knight, a tall man with skin coloured like the chocolates Lady Natasha adored and gleaming armour accented in the Stark colours of scarlet and gold. He smiled politely and bowed as he made the formal introductions.

“King Odin and Queen Frigga, I am the Lord’s Knight Commander, Sir James Rhodes. It is my honour to present his Lordship, Sir Anthony Edward Stark of Iron Reach.”

King Odin nodded once, a slight inclination of his head and Queen Frigga sighed softly beside him. “Do not be cruel, my King,” she chastised him quietly. “He looks terrified as it is. And you remember as well as I what we have been told about him. Do not mock his speech, the poor dear.”

Odin glanced at her from the corner of his one good eye and gave her a small crooked smile. “I shall try not be, my love.”

“Your-your-your M-Majesties,” Lord Anthony’s voice was so quiet that both Odin and Frigga found themselves unconsciously leaning forward to hear him better. “It-it’s an hon-honour. I am Lord A-Anthony Stark.”

“Welcome to Aysgarth, Lord Anthony,” King Odin said kindly, giving a single nod to the flustered young man. “I hope your journey was pleasant?”

“It was, your Majesty, thank you,” Anthony’s reply was steady this time, but Frigga could see the fine tremors running through him, and decided to take pity on him.

“Come along inside where it’s warmer, little darling and we will get you all settled in, hm?” She waved a hand at Thor and Natasha. “This is my eldest son, Thor and his lovely wife the Lady Natasha.”

Anthony executed a small and proper bow to both Thor and Natasha, returning their polite greetings as he did. As he straightened up, they could see his eyes flicking about, as though searching for something.

“M-may I enquire as to the whereabouts of my intended?” he asked, glancing around hopefully, as though Loki might suddenly appear to greet him, a small smile on his face. Thor and Natasha shared an uneasy look between them. “I wa-was under the impression he would be… here,” he finished on a whisper, eyes going back down to the ground, smile slipping away.

Thor sighed softly and steered Natasha inside, giving Anthony an encouraging smile that he didn’t see as they moved past him, and after a moment, Odin followed. Frigga gave him a small, sympathetic smile when he finally looked back up, and tucked her arm into the crook of his elbow.

“He is… being rather difficult about the situation,” she said gently. “But fret not, he will come around. There is to be a rather grand feast tonight to celebrate your wedding tomorrow, after all.”

She saw the way he seemed to hunch in on himself a little at that, but nodded bravely anyway and stammered his way through a thank you for her kindness.

 _Merciful Goddess,_ she thought to herself as she led him into the castle. _Loki will eat him alive._

**~*~**

Loki scowled at his brother as the Herald of the House of Asgeir announced his mother and father’s entrance. Thor had spent the better part of the last thirty minutes scolding him for not being there when his _intended_ had arrived. And then Lady Natasha had torn strips from him for being rude and disrespectful to his future husband.

No one had ever bothered to ask Loki if he even _wanted_ a husband.

He did not. He had no interest in being a pawn in his father’s games, but when they had caught word from their neighbouring lands to the south at the deteriorating state of the lands of Iron Reach, Odin had sent an emissary to the Stark House with a proposal of marriage between the Stark family heir and his second son, the Prince Loki.

Duke Howard had been hesitant to accept, but had come to much the same conclusion as Loki had. If Anthony were married, he would be close to next in line to rule beside Loki should anything befall Thor. Odin knew this as well, but he had hopes that once Duke Howard died, Loki and Anthony would merge Iron Reach with Aysgarth, combining more of Midgard under his family’s control. It would also allow them to undo the damage done by its maddened and grieving Duke.

Both had their own plans, and Loki and Anthony were left to play both games.

The Herald announced his entrance, and Loki sauntered down the steps to the great dining hall, looking about the room as he did. He spotted one of his favourite pretty things to play with standing beside her husband and gave her a tiny wink, taking pleasure in the sudden heat in her eyes. Perhaps the night wouldn’t be a waste after all. He approached his mother and father, bowed politely and took his place beside Thor.

“Announcing Lord Anthony, of the House of Stark of Iron Reach,” the Herald’s voice boomed out, and all eyes in the hall turned to the staircase. Making his way carefully down the stairs was the most striking man that Loki had ever seen. Thor nudged him harshly in the ribs and grinned at him, his bright blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

“He is quite a fine sight, is he not brother? Perhaps this marriage will not be such a chore.”

Loki rolled his eyes, and refused to answer. But Thor was right, damn him. Anthony was _beautiful_. His short formal cloak was in the blood red colour of his family’s coat of arms, his vest and tunic in complementing shades of grey, his black trousers almost indecently tight. Loki watched as he approached, and saw that he never looked up from the floor until he was standing in front of the King and Queen.

“Your Ma-Majesties,” he stammered as he bowed. “I-I thank you, for welcoming me so graciously into yo-your home.”

_Good Gods, he’s a virgin isn’t he. A stammering, shy virgin. This is going to be torture._

Frigga smiled warmly at him and gestured for him to stand by her side, giving a pleased little huff when he immediately did so. “Allow me to introduce you to your intended, my youngest son, the Prince Loki Asgeir.”

Finally, those big brown eyes lifted, and Loki met his gaze dead on, feeling a small measure of interest. He was certainly _pretty_. His eyes had flecks of gold in them, and Loki was certain he could count the freckles on his nose the lad was so fair. Anthony’s cheeks flushed red and he ducked his head again, stammering out a soft greeting.

Loki bit back a smile. Perhaps he could have some fun with him after all.

“Lord Anthony,” he said softly, letting his voice deepen a little. Dropping into a formal bow and clasping one of his husband-to-be’s hands firmly, he pressed a kiss to the trembling knuckles as Anthony finally lifted his head again to watch Loki’s face. “What a _pleasure_ it is to meet you.”

He watched with amusement as that red flush on his cheeks spread and the tips of his intendeds ears turned pink. Anthony’s eyes widened a little and he gave Loki a small, shaky smile, some odd expression in those ridiculously big eyes.

“The-the-the pleasure is mine, Prince Loki,” he managed to reply eventually. Loki straightened himself up, but didn’t relinquish his grip on Anthony’s hand. Loki smirked, a sharp, cruel thing that Anthony didn’t see. He watched as Anthony’s eyes lingered on their joined hands, but made no move to pull away either.

“I hope that we can b-be happy together,” he said shyly, still smiling and staring at where Loki was holding his hand. “I have heard that y-you enjoy reading? I have read many books and te-texts. I also en-enjoy gardening, and I have h-heard tell you like the same? Perhaps we can, um – oh…”

Slowly, intentionally so slowly, Loki let go of his hand and tucked his own behind his back as he watched Anthony’s hand linger in the air a moment, before slowly falling back to his side, his words trailing off into an uncomfortable silence.

“I am perfectly happy as I am,” Loki commented idly, ignoring the pained sound his mother made at his rudeness and the way the smile slowly left Anthony’s face.

“Oh… I-I understand,” Anthony said quietly, his gaze back on the floor, all the colour gone from his cheeks. “You do n-n-not wish to wed m-me. I ap-apologise for my f-for-forwardness, my Prince.” Loki simply cocked a brow at him in response, and walked away without another word. He’d spotted his favoured _dance partner_ lingering near a dark alcove without her husband.

He approached her and pressed a heated kiss to her hand, raking his eyes obviously from her rather scandalously cut neckline, up and over her décolletage she’d adorned with a single gold chain to draw the eye. Loki let his eyes linger on her lips as she shot him a coy little wink. “Shall we dance, my lady?”

He paid no attention to the disapproving and disappointed looks his family were giving him, nor the way his future husband seemed to fold in on himself as he shuffled away to some dark corner. It was of no concern to him as he took the Lady Everhart’s hand to begin their familiar dance.

**~*~**

Loki was easily the most handsome man that Anthony had ever seen. With his long black hair, dark green eyes and pale skin, he was almost exactly as Anthony had imagined he would be. He was the opposite of his brother in every way. Where Thor was huge, blonde and muscled, Loki was lean, dark and deceptively toned. Thor was intimidatingly tall, but Loki’s height seemed graceful. And he was lovely in his family colours of deep blue and purple.

He watched with a sick, hollow feeling in his stomach as his fiancé twirled about the dance-floor with a woman who was laughing and stroking his arms suggestively as they moved subtly towards a hidden, dark alcove. Loki’s smile was gorgeous as he leant down to whisper in her ear, and Anthony knew when he saw it that he would give anything to have Loki smile at him like that.

He also knew he’d do anything to make Loki happy. Anthony was a well read and educated man. It was part of his duty as a Lord to receive an education. But for all the books he’d read, all the histories and textbooks he’d studied, his favourite pastime had been to sneak off with one of his mother’s novels from the library. He adored the love stories within their pages, where there was love at first sight and a happily ever after at the end.

Like Buttercup and Westley…

The books always described it as a ‘lightning bolt’ or a ‘sudden wash of warmth’ when the main character first locked eyes with their true love.

Anthony thought it felt rather like he’d suddenly stopped falling. He wasn’t quite naïve enough to believe that Loki was his true love, but… but he had definitely felt _something_. And for just a moment, he’d thought that Loki felt it too.

A first love, if not a true love.

He had looked up into Loki’s eyes and felt his whole world suddenly right itself. The way he held his hand so gently, not letting go even though the introductions were over had given him a feeling of being whole, of feeling important to someone. But as quickly as it had appeared, that flash of interest he’d seen in Loki’s eyes was gone, replaced by something cold and almost cruel. And then he’d smirked at Anthony, and it had been like a stab to the heart.

Loki cared not for him at all and never would, that smirk said. The slow release of his hand was to embarrass him for letting his eagerness take hold. He hadn’t realised at first how his own hand had lingered in the air afterwards as though he were expecting Loki to suddenly take hold of it again.

_I am perfectly happy as I am._

He felt an awful fool. Anthony knew he wasn’t an ideal partner. He stammered, he was small and preferred to read than to fight or explore. But he’d thought, when he heard that the Prince Loki was of a similar personality that perhaps they might bond over books and knowledge. Anthony had wit and a sharp mind, and had hoped an intellectual relationship might give them some footing to start on.

Instead, he’d been embarrassed in front of Loki’s family, and left alone while his husband-to-be seduced another man’s wife in front of him.

Anthony sighed, and pulled his legs up onto the chaise he’d found in an empty alcove near the door. He’d slipped away without a word, which he knew was impolite, but couldn’t bear to be on the receiving end of any false sympathies. He rested his head against his knees and closed his burning eyes. A quiet sniffle escaped him before he could stop it, and he pressed his face into his knees instead.

He just wanted to go _home_. But he couldn’t. He would be wed by this time the next day, and the Aysgarth Castle was his home now. He sighed again, and wrapped his cloak about himself, hunching down further into it.

Perhaps he would disappear, like one of the heroines in his books. Whisked away by a stray fairy or a pirate for a grand adventure.

Maybe he wouldn’t feel so much like he’d already failed at being a husband then.

**~*~**

Natasha watched as Anthony’s eyes lost their sparkle at Loki’s cruel words, and how he just folded into himself as his fiancé whirled about the floor with that thrice-damned Everhart woman. She tugged at Thor’s hand until it was wrapped about her waist, and leant into the firm, warm chest of her husband. Their union had been much the same at first. A treaty brokered between her brother and King Odin in the weeks after their father’s passing. She’d been apprehensive and sullen when she arrived, but Thor had been charming, brash and so very honest with her.

_“I am a warrior, my Lady, I pride myself on my honour.” He’d told her on their wedding night. “And it would pain my heart greatly to consummate this marriage with you should you not feel comfortable in my presence. So we will share stories and drink this wine until we are well acquainted, expectations be damned.”_

And they had. They’d drunk their way through several bottles of wine and talked until the sun was peeking through the windows. They’d claimed a consummation by Thor spilling himself over a red wine stain, and not touched each other in the bedroom until almost two weeks later. That had been almost eight years ago now, and as he glared after his little brother, Natasha found herself more grateful than ever she’d not been betrothed to Loki.

“Thor,” she spoke quietly, not wanting their conversation to carry, watching Anthony as he silently slipped away from the group and ducked around the edge of the crowds. “Darling, should we go after him?” Thor looked down at her, his blue eyes creased in concern.

“Nay love,” he replied after a moment, looking back out at where Lord Anthony had disappeared into a small hidden alcove. “I believe our presence now would be misinterpreted as false sympathy.” Natasha sighed, and tucked herself closer to her husband.

“Loki is a cruel man, and a fool,” she whispered into his chest. “He will break that poor boy’s heart.”

Thor simply nodded, and held her close. Neither felt much like celebrating anymore.

**~*~**

Thor had walked him back from the feast hall, cupping his face gently with one of his big hands when they reached his door so that Anthony would look up at him.

“All will be well, Anthony,” he’d tried to reassure him. Anthony had looked up into Thor’s blue eyes and seen something that looked like kindness… and pity. He gave the big Prince a tiny smile in return. “Loki will come around, we must just give him - ”

Whatever he’d been about to say had been cut off by a very intoxicated Loki stumbling down the hallway towards them, tugging another man behind him, the both of them laughing loudly and pausing to touch and share kisses frequently.

“Thor!” Loki grinned at him as they came to a lurching stop beside them. “And… you,” he pointed lazily at Anthony. “You’re not my husband yet! And tonight,” he’d slung his arm around the shoulders of the man now standing awkwardly beside him, casting guilty looks between Anthony and Thor. “Tonight, I’m gonna be making _him_ scream my name.”

Loki pulled the other man into his room. The man, who looked decidedly less drunk in that moment, paused a moment at the door as he looked over at Anthony and mouthed the words, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know’ before the door closed behind him. Anthony felt a little ill that while he apologised, he’d still followed another man’s fiancé into his bedroom the night before his wedding.

Thor had never dropped his hand from Anthony’s cheek, and now he tightened his grip a little, forcing Anthony’s face back to him.

He stared down at Anthony, sympathy and anger at war in his expression. “Do you wish to come stay with my wife and I this night, Anthony?”

From Loki’s room, the sounds of soft laughter and muffled thumping sounds, of Loki’s voice hoarse and low came through the door. Anthony had nodded his head then, unable to find the words. A gentle kiss was pressed to his cheek, and Thor led him away.

So now he sat on the edge of his bed in the temporary room he’d been given for the night and hugged his pillow to his chest. Trying and failing to desperately ignore the thought of his future husband finding his pleasure and release with another.

He knew he wasn’t expected to be anything more than a trophy for Loki to flaunt on his arm at social gatherings, to sit beside him in a pretty crown and cloak when it was necessary. He also knew that when it was time for him to rule Iron Reach, Loki would merge their lands with Aysgarth, and Anthony would stand at his side, ever faithful and forgotten.

He couldn’t help but to think of his book tucked away in his bag, wishing he had the strength to force himself up to get it. He thought of brave Inigo Montoya asking the Man In Black, _“Who are you?”_

And Anthony could finally understand the answer, felt it down to his very soul as he said it aloud to the dark of his empty room.

_“Who are you?… No one of consequence.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their wedding day...

**~*~**

Loki woke alone the next morning, and bit down on his nausea as he rolled to the edge of his bed, knocking aside the small jar he usually kept his sweetly scented almond-oil in. It surprised him to see it empty, the stopper long gone. He’d drunk far more than he intended to and couldn’t remember who he’d brought back to his chambers. He couldn’t even remember reaching his chambers.

Hopefully whoever they had been wouldn’t cause too much of a fuss. He knew it hadn’t been Everhart; he’d left her satisfied in the alcove to return to her husband. And to have used all _that_ oil… it hadn’t been a woman.

The sheets where he was laying were wet with spilt oil and the drying remnants of their shared release. He scrunched his nose in vague disgust as he accidentally stuck his hand on the largest wet spot, and yelled for his chambermaids to strip the bed. Loki fumbled his green velvet robe from where it sat beside his bed and wrapped it around himself for the sake of their modesty as he walked past the maids entering his room.

He shrugged it off as soon as he stumbled into his washroom. The maids had clearly already been in here earlier, as his large clawfoot washtub was filled with scented hot water, his favourite soaps and shampoos nearby, and he sank into it gratefully. Loki allowed himself a few moments to soak and allow the scent and feel of whomever he’d been with the night before to wash away before he scrubbed himself down and washed his hair.

It was his wedding day, after all. It wouldn’t do to stand beside Lord Anthony smelling of another.

Loki tipped his head back against the edge of the tub and closed his eyes with a frustrated sigh. He was getting _married_ . To a Gods be damned virgin who _stammered_ and _blushed_.

He’d read the letter from Anthony’s doctor about his speech, and had bitten down on a scoff. Surely his parents wouldn’t agree to marry him off to someone so visibly _flawed_. But they’d proven him wrong and accepted him regardless.

_“It’s trauma, Loki,” his mother had explained to him in a gentle tone, as though he were a skittish child. “He cannot help it.”_

She’d asked him to be mindful not to mock him for it, but after hearing how he tripped over his words last night, Loki knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold his tongue forever. Not since he was a child had someone called Loki a _nice_ person. And now, at the age of five and twenty he was being married off like some damsel to keep the damned peace.

Except Loki knew it was nothing to do with peace. It was an arrangement made because his father was a soft-hearted old fool. The lands of Iron Reach had deteriorated since the Duchess died, and the number of people fleeing had reached uncomfortably high numbers of late. So, in all his _infinite_ wisdom, Odin had sent his emissary with a letter proposing a marriage of alliance with the failing lands.

Loki thunked his head hard against the tub edge, using the sharp sudden pain to try and clear his head. He knew he wasn’t a good man. He was cruel, sharp tongued and took his pleasure as he wanted with whom he wanted. His life was… not what he’d ever planned it to be, but he enjoyed it. He had no need of friends, or a steady lover.

He was quite happy, most of the time.

And really, it was Odin’s fault he acted the way he did. Who in the name of _all_ the Gods tells their son on his eighteenth birthday that the reason he cannot wed the woman he was in love with was because he was _adopted_?

Sigyn had been his first love, and the first in line to her throne, and thus could not marry any but the first born son. And when Loki had refused to accept that as reason enough, when he’d raged and argued against it, he’d been told the true reason he looked so different to his brother.

Given away by his birth parents at barely six months of age, as a token of peace from the invaders from across the Great Eastern Sea. Loki wasn’t a true Midgardian. His blood family were barbarians - raiders and pillagers from the frozen wastelands of the tundras across the seas.

So Loki had rebelled. His love had left him; married to another before the Summer ended, and he’d sworn to himself he would never fall in love again. He slept with any willing partner, man or woman. He wasn’t _happy_ , but it was better than admitting that he had yet to come to terms with the lies his life had been built upon.

And now… it was his wedding day.

It felt as though he’d merely blinked, and now he found himself standing at the entrance to the hall for his wedding. He smoothed invisible wrinkles from his jacket and adjusted the fall of his floor-length cape behind him. His suit was a dark, almost blue, green and his cape the royal blue of his family crest, his crown silver and bright against his dark braid.

He glanced up as Thor, who clapped him gently on the shoulder and gave him a grin as he passed, leading Anthony into the waiting room.

“Cheer up, Lord Anthony. You’re family now!” Thor’s voice was light and cheerful, and Anthony smiled at him, a small and fragile little thing, but it seemed genuine.

“Th-thank you, Prince Thor. For, um, for everything.”

“He’s not family yet,” Loki muttered sullenly, the sudden camaraderie between his brother and his soon to be husband irritating him. He saw the slight flinch that Anthony gave at his words, and the way that little smile fell away instantly, and felt a little bad underneath the irritation. Thor glared at him, and whispered something into Anthony’s ear that had that small smile returning to the Lord’s face, before straightening up and walking up to Loki.

“Do not be cruel, brother. He is nervous and scared. You have not said a single kind word to him,” he scolded him in a hushed tone. “You have not been kind to him. Leaving him last night and flaunting your lovers before him? Loki, that was shameful. Just try. We beg of you, _try_.”

Loki waved him off with a frown and a mumbled word of apology.

“Tis not I you should be giving apologies to, brother,” Thor’s parting words were harshly spoken as he walked over to the big oak doors, stopping by Anthony’s side one last time. Flaunting his lovers? Had Anthony seen whomever it was he’d taken back to his room last night? Loki sighed and ran a frustrated hand down his face. Gods, he wasn’t married _yet._ Why did last night matter?

Thor opened the double doors wide and made his way up the aisle in the middle to take his place beside Odin and Frigga. With a last sigh and silent farewell to his bachelorhood, Loki extended his arm for Anthony to take.

The smaller man didn’t once look up at him, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground before him as he slipped his shaking hand into the crook of Loki’s arm, and Loki wet his suddenly dry lips. He felt… _bad_ for Anthony. He was dressed similarly to Loki, but his suit was pure white to symbolize his virginal status, his blood red cape behind him making a sharp contrast. His crown was gold to Loki’s silver, and had a single red gemstone in the centre where Loki’s had a white opal. He looked beautiful.

“You look lovely, Anthony,” Loki said softly as they walked up the aisle together. Anthony stiffened slightly at his words, but gave no other indication he’d heard him. Loki felt that weird sensation of almost guilt in his stomach again, but ignored it and continued to focus on his steps, being mindful of Anthony’s shorter ones. It wouldn’t do to have him stumbling to keep up. The crowd on either side of the aisle were mostly quiet, but he could make a few random comments out. Mostly they were speaking of Anthony. He caught the words ‘pretty’ and ‘so delicate!’ quite often.

Then, just as they were about to stand before the Elder of the Bright God and receive their vows, a whispered, “As do you, Prince Loki,” reached his ears, and Loki looked at Anthony in surprise. He was staring ahead at the Elder, but the tips of his ears were pink.

The Elder read his passage about love and commitment, loyalty, faithfulness and honesty. He spoke of two hearts and souls entwined as one for all time, of a love that would conquer all. And Loki felt ill as he repeated his vows back, accepting the single red peony from Anthony to place upon the altar.

He snuck a look at the man beside him, and Anthony’s face was almost as white as his suit, his bottom lip trapped firmly in his teeth. But he nodded and spoke the returning vows in a clear voice, his stammer nowhere in sight, his hands steady as he accepted Loki’s blue violet and placed it beside his peony. And when the Elder wrapped the binding cord about their wrists and declared them wed, he finally raised his eyes to look at Loki.

There was so much _fear_ in his eyes that Loki wondered if he’d suddenly sprouted horns.

“You may embrace your beloved,” the Elder concluded. Anthony shuffled his feet and swallowed nervously, his cheeks tinged pink again. Loki had to clamp down firmly on the urge to roll his eyes as he leant down. Anthony’s wide eyes watched him as Loki gently brushed their mouths together, nothing more than a chaste touch. Yet when Loki moved away, Anthony’s face was flushed and he immediately brought his unbound fingertips up to touch his lips.

_Gods, he hadn’t been kissed. Who the hell got to be Anthony’s age and hasn’t been kissed?_

Loki kept their bound hands clasped loosely between them as they stood for Odin and Frigga to give them their blessings, and did his best to ignore the fine tremors running through his new husband.

Frigga gave them each a golden ring to wear to symbolise their union, a custom in Aysgarth. Odin gave them a beautiful pair of horses and the gift of newly constructed rooms in the family wing. Loki scowled a little at that; he liked his rooms and was reluctant to move. But he accepted the gifts graciously, and felt Anthony give their clasped hands a small squeeze. He looked down at his husband - _Gods he was his husband_ – and saw the tentative, happy smile on his face as Anthony took in the room and stared at the floral arrangements.

Loki knew that he should smile back, should give his husband’s hand a squeeze in return to give him comfort and make him feel as though Loki were even the smallest bit happy with the pairing.

But he couldn’t. This was not what he wanted. It wasn’t supposed to feel like _this_. His wedding day should be a day of joy and of love.

And then Anthony made it _worse_ , when he turned that smile up at Loki, his eyes shining and bright as he spoke.

“This is beautiful, isn’t it Loki? Aren’t th-the flowers lovely? Perhaps we c-c-could bring some back to our r-rooms? It might b-b-be nice, to have a piece of t-today with us?”

Loki felt as though some string that had been wound up tighter and tighter inside of him all day suddenly snapped.

He didn’t want this. Didn’t want this shy, blushing virgin. Didn’t want to be married at all. He wanted to continue on as he had been. His books, his learning and his own life. Now he was tied down to someone he didn’t know and didn’t care about. He didn’t want a _piece of today_ to take with them! And he was selfish enough that he couldn’t stay and pretend another moment.

So he wrenched his hand free from Anthony’s, ignoring the shocked gasps from his family, from the Elder and the sudden whispering and mutterings of their guests and unwound the binding cord from their wrists.

“We’re done here,” he hissed viciously, eyes narrowed at his _husband_. “The ceremony is complete, I have done my part. I will see you back in our rooms.”

He spun on his heel and made his way quickly from the hall, ignoring his mother’s plea to return.

And he very deliberately did not let his mind linger on the look of absolute betrayal and hurt on Anthony’s face as he walked through the empty castle to his former rooms to pack.

The wedding feast and celebrations could continue without him.

**~*~**

Natasha had seen many things in her life. She had seen war and life as they come and go; seen love and hate as they blossomed and faded. But she had never before seen someone so completely indifferent to another human being’s feelings. Watching as Loki had unwound the binding cords from his and Anthony’s wrists early and then _leaving_ the poor man behind…

That was a new level of cruelty. And watching as poor Anthony had stood there with his hand still half-raised and the cord hanging from his wrist as though he’d been about to reach out to Loki, to grasp onto him to stop him from leaving, was just awful.

She shook her head slightly, and moved to stand beside Anthony, who was still standing at the ceremonial altar. She gently placed her hand on his outstretched one, lowering it and grasping it in her own.

“I’m so sorry darling,” her words seemed to bring Anthony back to himself, and he blinked rapidly as he turned to face her.

“L-L-La-Lady Nat-Natasha,” he whispered, his eyes wide and wet with hurt and his stammer back in full force. “I-I don’t under-understand. What did I _do?”_

And, oh how Natasha _hated_ Loki in that moment for his selfishness and cruelty. “You did nothing wrong, Anthony. Loki…” she paused a moment, and subtly shifted Anthony around so he was facing away from the doorway Loki had fled through. Away from the curious gaze of the assembled crowd, all muttering amongst themselves. “Loki is a very difficult and cold man. He has his own story to tell, as do we all, but I fear he is… he will just need some time.” She caught Frigga’s eye and gave a slight nod in Anthony’s direction.

_What do we do?_

Frigga drew herself up and squared her shoulders. Beside her, Odin was grim faced and glaring at the door his son had left through. Thor’s jaw muscle was twitching, as though he were fighting down words, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Natasha knew it was because he was biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from storming after Loki.

Frigga cleared her throat and waited until the crowd was mostly focused on her. “You’ll have to excuse my son,” she spoke clearly and at a normal volume, knowing that the gathered guests would quieten down to hear her. “I do believe he was suddenly taken ill. We shall proceed with the party, if you’d all be so very kind as to move into the hall? There is quite the feast prepared, and many casks of wine and ale have been opened.” She gestured widely with her arms, and as one the muttering crowd began to move, the hall emptying quickly.

Natasha had kept Anthony’s hand between her own, and could feel him shaking now from tip to toe. She stroked her thumb over the top of his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Hush, Anthony,” she soothed. “It will all be well.”

Anthony just gave her a sad look and shook his head. “M-my husband _hates_ me,” he gasped, his voice cracking a little on the word ‘hates’. “I-I-I told my f-f-f-f- ” he drew a deep shuddering breath and held it. “I told my father this was a terrible m-mistake,” he said after a moment, having gotten a handle on his stutter again. “I want to go _home_ , Lady Natasha,” he whispered, and Natasha just wanted to pull him into her arms and never let him go again.

He gently pulled his hand free from hers and bowed politely. “If you will please ex-excuse me, I need to - ” he made a half-hearted gesture at his face, “I just need a moment.” He walked with small, quick steps down the steps leading up to the altar they were still standing before, and disappeared out the small side door leading to the washrooms.

Natasha waited until the last guest had exited the room before slumping to the ground, sitting on the top step, her head in her hands.

“My Gods, what an absolute disaster,” she groaned. “What in the name of _all_ the Nine Gods was Loki thinking?”

“I believe he panicked,” Frigga replied, plucking some of the flowers down from the arbour above the altar - brightly coloured tulips and honeysuckle. Declarations and bonds of love. She sighed at the flowers in her hands. “It is done now. We cannot undo the damage he’s done here, but we can try to make that poor boy feel at home. We will get this feast done, and then we will try and help those two.”

“There will be no helping Loki,” Thor’s voice was deep with anger, and when Natasha looked back at him, every muscle in his body was tight with it. “But we will protect Anthony from him. Loki is not fit to be a husband. Not yet.” He met Natasha’s eye and she could read him like a book.

“He will stay with us for now,” she said, and Thor nodded.

“It is not the proper thing to do.”

Thor scoffed at that. “Father, nothing Loki has done since Anthony arrived has been _proper_. He refused to greet him, abandoned him at their engagement party and flaunted lovers in his face last night. Today was just,” he sighed. “It was just cruel.”

The Elder cleared his throat softly, and they all turned to him. Natasha had quite forgotten he was even there.

“If I may,” his voice was deep and rich, and it reminded Natasha of her father’s voice. Of age and wisdom, love and safety. “Separating them will not help. It is too late now to declare Loki unfit to be a husband, for a husband he now is. Loki needs to accept his new life, he will not do so if they are living apart. They need to become familiar with one another.” He paused a moment. “Though I do believe that the consummation of their marriage may prove difficult. As such, I shall leave my blessing and the blessing of the Bright God upon them regardless.”

Odin rolled his eye and sighed. “Gods be _damned_ , Loki,” he muttered angrily, and Frigga placed her hand on his shoulder. “My heart feels most heavy with guilt. I feel as though this all falls on my shoulders,” he said to his wife softly. “I almost regret sending the emissary all those months ago.”

Frigga just shook her head. “Nay husband, we will work this through. Loki has been different since his eighteenth year. And we know this. Now it’s just time to support he and Anthony through this.”

She stepped back and clapped her hands together, the folds of her heavy dress rustling with the movement. “Right then. We shall proceed thusly. Get this Gods be damned feast done. Then Thor, you shall escort Anthony to their new chambers. I would have you stay the night nearby, lest poor Anthony need you. In the morning, we shall work a plan.” When everyone had nodded their agreement, the Elder was escorted into the feast by Odin and Frigga, leaving Thor and Natasha to wait for Anthony.

When he appeared again a short time later, his face was damp but mostly clear, his eyes red rimmed and his cheeks flushed, but he gave them both a small smile and allowed them to escort him to the feast.

As the day wore on, and evening fell, at the time when the newlyweds were usually being toasted out of the hall, Thor was the one to accept Anthony’s hand and lead him proudly from the hall to his new rooms. Natasha felt her heart flutter in pride at her husband’s selflessness.

She had married a good man. Now, she just had to hope there was still a good man somewhere inside of Loki.

**~*~**

“You don’t have to walk me the whole way, Prince Thor,” Anthony spoke up as they entered the family wing of the castle. There were rich rugs on all the floors here, vases of brilliantly coloured flowers and tapestries along the walls. It was beautiful. Anthony just wished he were in the right frame of mind to appreciate it.

“Nonsense, brother,” Anthony flushed at Thor’s reply. “And you must cease calling me Prince. We are family now, Anthony. I am simply Thor to you.”

“Th-thank you, Thor.” That earned him a massive grin, and Anthony felt his own lips twitch up in response. “Um, if you’d like, you can call me Tony. M-my mother… she said if I had friends, th-they should call me that.” He licked his lips then, suddenly nervous as a new thought occurred to him. “Do you think Loki will be terribly angry to see me?”

Thor sighed, and tucked Tony under his arm as they walked. Tony didn’t resist the embrace, feeling rather needing of physical comfort. He let his hand rest lightly against Thor’s hip, and sighed softly as well.

“My brother has not had a terribly easy life these last few years,” Thor said eventually. “I believe that he panicked this morning. It was cruel, and uncalled for, but… I think deep inside, he is still a good man, Tony. He just needs reminding of it. I think that perhaps the person to bring that out of him again could be you.”

Tony bit his lip and mulled that over. If Loki had just panicked, that was understandable. But the look in his eyes had screamed hatred at him. He’d never been hated before. It felt awful.

The feast had been terribly awkward for him. There had been no one to make his speeches, as the Knights had left back to Iron Reach early that morning. Even Sir James had gone home, on his father’s direct orders. Odin and Frigga had opted not to make Loki’s speeches as he was not there to receive them. The guests had paused at a few moments throughout the day, waiting for the traditional dance between the newlyweds; the burning of their candles; the presentation of their love to the Nine Gods.

Instead, after a few uncomfortably silent moments someone would inevitably start talking again and the conversation would pick back up. Tony had sat in near silence almost the entire day, eaten next to nothing and drank less. Now as they came to a halt outside of a door, Tony felt as though he might be sick.

“I shall escort you inside, Tony. And I will be only next door tonight. If you need me, at any time, just call for me and I will come.”

Tony looked up into Thor’s kind face and blinked hard for a moment. “Thor,” he whispered, wringing his hands together as he looked between Thor and the closed doors. “M-m-might you hold me a moment? I admit, I feel rather like I’m about to go to the g-gallows.”

Thor’s entire demeanour softened and he immediately wrapped his huge arms about Tony, and Tony felt suddenly as though nothing in the entire world could harm him while Thor held him. Was this what it felt like to have an older brother? To feel loved?

Tony burrowed his head into Thor’s chest and closed his eyes tightly, drawing deep steadying breaths. Thor smelt of the feast hall, of smoke and ale, and something underneath that made Tony think of thunderstorms.

With a last inhale and rub of his cheek on Thor’s shirt, he pulled back a little and Thor just beamed down at him, his hair and heavy golden crown bright in the torchlight.

“You remind me of a kitten, Tony,” he chuckled. “And now I shall deliver you to your husband, kitten.” Tony blushed but nodded his agreement, stepping back out of the comforting circle of Thor’s arms to steady himself. He straightened his shirt and jacket and forced his hands to unclench at his sides.

“Okay,” he breathed. “I can do this.” Thor gave him an approving sort of look and knocked on the door.

“Loki! I have brought Anthony. May we enter?” Whatever response Loki actually gave was muffled and lost behind the door, but Thor took it as a positive anyway, opening the solid oak door and entering the room first, his blue cloak snapping about his heels as he strode in confidently.

Tony followed behind, a little slower and a lot more apprehensive. Loki had clearly spent the day arranging things to his liking. There were books in the shelves lining the walls that looked well read, trinkets on the tables and on the mantle above the fireplace, and Loki’s wedding cloak flung haphazardly across the back of their settee lounge that faced the room’s one big window. The room was almost the same as the one he’d spent the night before in; white stone walls with bright tapestries, a soft rug on the wooden floor and the golden-brown settee big enough to comfortably seat three. He could see the door that lead to the bedroom, and swallowed nervously at the sight of the open door. He turned his head away, not wanting to glance inside yet.

He took in the sight of a softer looking Loki in a plain white tunic and black leggings, his feet bare and his hair loose and curled about his face and shoulders. Tony wondered briefly if he’d ever see Loki relaxed like that… and happy to see him. He was leaning against the wall beside the fireplace with his arms crossed and his expression at the moment was as cold as the snowflakes drifting past the window.

“At least you were productive,” Thor remarked as he moved to rest against the doorway. Tony slipped by him and stood awkwardly in the small space between the chaise and the wall. He ran his hands over the fabric of Loki’s cloak, marvelling in how soft and warm it felt, how lovely the colour was up close.

“Yes well, I work better alone,” Loki sneered, his lip curling up as he spoke. Anthony immediately removed his hands from the cloak and tucked them self-consciously under his arms, drawing the edges of his own cloak about him. “The maids brought your things. I left them there,” he gestured to the corner of the room where Tony’s small pile of belongings sat. Tony glanced at them, and then past that to the doorway beside Loki. _Our bedroom_. He bit his lip for a moment. The single large bed sat in the middle of the room, piled high with blankets and he immediately turned his gaze back to the cloak. “I assumed you would rather unpack yourself.”

Tony nodded and kept his eyes on the cloak, watching the way the firelight made the blue shades of it look like water almost, shimmering and moving. “Thank you, Prince Loki,” was his near inaudible response. “If it’s a-all the same to you, I think I’d like to do that tomorrow. Your mother and father have excused me from tomorrow's events.”

Tony was focused on the cloak still, and missed the meaningful glare that Thor gave his brother then. _He_ was not excused.

Tony watched the cloak a moment or two longer before he decided to face the elephant in the room, and looked up at Loki from beneath his lashes.

“Where will I sleep, Prince Loki? There is only o-o-one bed.”

Loki actually looked taken aback at that, and Tony watched as some unidentifiable emotion played across his face. “You…” he cleared his throat, and Tony couldn’t help but feel a little vindicated when Loki seemed at a loss for words momentarily. “You will sleep with me,” he said eventually, and Tony instantly shook his head.

“I will not consummate… this,” he waved a hand between them. “Not yet. The Elder has given his blessing regardless.” Loki opened his mouth as though to protest, but Thor shifted slightly from where he was standing to closer behind Tony, and Loki changed his mind and turned his head away from them.

“Very well,” he bit the words out harshly.

“Tony,” Thor’s voice was soft when he spoke, and Tony instantly felt more at ease. “Why do you not go and change from your wedding clothes whilst I speak with my brother? I will see you in the morning, kitten.”

Tony felt his cheeks heat up at the nickname, but agreed in a quiet voice, bidding Thor a goodnight and thank you, grateful to him for giving him a chance to escape the awkward atmosphere of the room. He moved quickly to the corner where his trunks were stacked, and plucked the small bag from the top one that he’d packed ready for his wedding night, before ducking into the bedroom and closing the heavy door carefully behind him.

**~*~**

As soon as the door had closed behind him, Thor strode over to where Loki had flung himself gracelessly onto the chaise.

“Have you no shame, Loki?” he growled through clenched teeth. “Do you not realise what you have done this day? The _shame_ you have brought upon our family? Upon poor Tony?”

“What _I_ have done?” Loki snarled. “What I have done is to marry a man I do not want! I have given my life away so that Father can have his lands when the Duke dies! I am a _pawn_ Thor! Nothing more. And _Anthony_ ,” he couldn’t help the mocking tone to his voice as he spoke his husbands name, “is just the same as I! He is just either too damned innocent not to see, or he doesn’t care. But I do! I do care, Thor. This… this is not what I wanted for myself.”

Thor sighed heavily and grasped Loki by the back of his neck, hauling him in close and pressing their foreheads together, a gesture he’d used between them since childhood. “Brother, you cannot treat him as though - ”

Loki didn’t let him finish. “As though _what_ Thor? As though I do not care for him? I do not. I will not lie to him and I will not lie to myself.”

Thor thumped their heads together and moved away, walking slowly to the door. He opened it, and paused, one hand resting on the doorframe to keep it open as he looked back at Loki.

“Do not be cruel for the sake of being cruel, Loki. He does not deserve it.” Thor let the door swing closed, the soft _click_ of the lock catching sounding very final to Loki’s ears. He rubbed his hands over his face and moved to bank the fire for the night. As he shifted the logs and prodded the embers back to the middle, he thought hard on Thor’s words.

Yes, he was a pawn for Odin’s plans involving Iron Reach. But so was Anthony. And he was certain he knew enough about him to know that there was no way Anthony didn’t know that. Loki pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and took a deep breath before he stood up.

As he opened the door to the bedroom, he realised belatedly that he should have knocked. But Anthony was already changed and curled up into a tiny ball on the far side of their bed, only the top of his dark curly head visible. Loki sighed softly and extinguished the candles by the door, walking carefully over to the bed and climbing in.

“Goodnight, Anthony,” he said softly, as he made himself comfortable. Loki listened carefully for any sign that Anthony was still awake, but could hear nothing aside from his quiet, steady breaths. He could feel the slight indentation in the mattress where Anthony’s slender body rested, and the warmth that he was giving out. A small part of Loki wanted to reach out, to wrap his arms about his husband and take some of that warmth into himself, to ask him to forgive him.

But even as the thought entered his mind, he was pushing it aside. Anthony wouldn’t forgive, at least not right away. Loki knew he’d hurt and shamed the other man terribly today, and although some part of him felt bad for it, it wasn’t enough for him to regret it.

Not yet.

He was almost asleep a little while later, when the tiniest whisper he’d ever heard drifted across the pillows, so soft that Loki wondered whether he’d really heard it, or only imagined it.

“Goodnight, husband.”

Loki woke early the next morning as the first light of the sun crept in through their window, and for the second day in a row, alone. He had immediately rolled over to see if Anthony was still sleeping, but the bed was cold and empty, the blankets folded back like he’d gotten up in a hurry. Loki got out of bed and quietly opened the door.

Anthony was curled up on the chaise lounge, wrapped in Loki’s wedding cloak, and Loki could see dried tear tracks on his cheeks, his expression pained even in sleep. He sighed softly, and went back into the bedroom to get dressed for the day. When he came back out, the sun was completely up and Anthony, and his cloak, were gone.

**~*~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red Peony - Devotion  
> Blue Violet - Love and Faithfulness


	3. Chapter 3

**~*~**

Thor was sitting with his mother in the gardens, talking quietly of nothing important when he spotted Tony making his way slowly around the corner. He looked awful, dark circles beneath his eyes and his hair sticking up everywhere like he’d been running his hands through it constantly. He was still in his sleepwear and barefoot, with Loki’s wedding cloak wrapped about him as he plodded through the half-frozen lawns. Thor felt an immediate wave of pity and the need to care for the smaller man flood through him.

“Mother,” he pointed to where Tony had stopped to admire a large red winter-bloom bush. “He looks exhausted.”

Frigga looked up from her teacup and sighed sadly. “He does look a fright, doesn’t he? Poor darling. I had hoped he and Loki might speak last night.”

“They spoke a little,” Thor admitted. “But it did not go… well. Loki is being difficult, and holds so much resentment towards Father still. I worry that he won’t be able to let it go, and try to accept Tony even a little.”

“You call him Tony?” Frigga smiled at him. “I like it.”

“He told me last night his mother told him if he ever had friends, they should call him so,” Thor said softly, watching as Tony moved from the red blooms to the yellow and white. “He then asked me to hold him a moment. I believe it may have been the first positive touch he has had in far too long.”

Thor finished his own tea, and set the cup gently down beside his mother’s. “I will take him back to his rooms, and ensure he gets some rest,” he pressed a kiss to her cheek as he stood. “He is my brother now too.” Frigga smiled at him, and Thor took his leave of her, knowing his wife would join her soon.

“Tony,” he called out as he walked slowly over to where Tony was still standing by the winter-blooms, his gaze vacant and glazed. As he got closer, Thor could see he was swaying slightly where he stood, and shivering. “Tony?”

Tony startled, and looked up at him. “Oh, Thor,” Tony mumbled giving him a tired smile. “G’morning.”

The Prince sighed, and wrapped an arm around Tony’s thin shoulders. “Come kitten, let’s get you tucked back into your bed, hm? You need to sleep.”

Tony made a quiet humming noise, and let Thor lead him back to the rooms he shared with Loki. He wouldn’t go in until Thor entered first and assured him they were empty.

“I’m not scared,” he said, his voice a breathy whisper, and Thor wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or Thor. “But h-he makes me nervous. He hates me, and I d-d-don’t want to force him to be around me more than necessary.”

Thor tucked Tony into his side of the bed, and settled into the chair beside it, reaching out to run his fingers through Tony’s curls. “Sleep, Tony. Loki does not hate you.”

Tony was quiet for so long after that, that Thor thought he’d fallen asleep. He was settling into the chair with a book when he heard Tony’s voice from underneath the blankets. “A man’s eyes say more than his words, Thor…”

The book lay forgotten, as Thor sat and just watched his new brother-in-law as he slept. Tony was such a fascinating little creature. So innocent of the world, and yet already so weary of it. Thor knew of the way Howard had raised his son after his wife had died. Locked the boy away in the house, nothing but books and tutors to keep him company. Tony was so very clever, his mind sharp and constantly busy. But he was so lonely. Thor had seen him stand in a hall full of people two days in a row and had never seen a man look so alone.

No, that wasn’t true. He’d seen that exact expression on Loki’s face before. He tipped his head back to rest on the chair, running his hands through his long hair and sighing to himself. Loki had made a mess of this whole situation already, but he had hopes that it could be salvaged.

A noise from the other room caught his attention, and Thor slipped silently from the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Loki was standing by the fireplace, his wedding cloak in his hands as he stared at the flames.

“You may not like your husband,” Thor took a little pleasure in the way his brother startled when he spoke. “But it would be an unnecessary cruelty to take that from him. For whatever reason, it seems to bring him comfort.”

Loki glared at him a moment before he tossed the cloak back onto the lounge. “I would not burn it. It would be a wasteful endeavour.”

Thor moved more fully into the room and carefully folded the cloak and laid it back over the lounge. “He is a good man,” he spoke quietly, not wanting to risk waking Tony. “He is clever, Loki. So very clever and well read. He noticed our land has an affinity with the language of flowers and has already asked Mother for a book to learn.”

Loki looked up at him in surprise at that. “When did he notice that?”

The glare that Thor levelled on him was one of such ferocity that it had rarely been seen off the battlefield. Loki wisely took a half-step back. “He noticed it yesterday during his _wedding feast,_ ” he managed to get out between clenched teeth “When there was to be quite a few shared moments between him and his new husband!”

Thor let out a heavy breath and slumped down onto the lounge, resting his hands between his knees as he stared up at his little brother. Loki had his hair loose today, dressed in his semi-formal best in the family colours, a sash of Tony’s red around his waist. Thor stared at him a moment, trying to work out what was missing.

“Loki, why do you not wear your wedding ring?”

“It… it does not feel right to wear it.”

“Loki,” Thor sighed. “If you ever wish to bridge this chasm you are creating between Tony and yourself, you must _try._ ”

Thor watched his brother as he bristled at that, and bit down a groan. He knew that look on Loki’s face too well.

“And why does everyone assume I _want_ to? Perhaps I am happy as we are? It has barely even been a day and - ”

“And everyone yesterday were taking w-wagers on how long until you ask me to m-m-move back home,” Tony’s soft voice interrupted him. Thor stood and went to wrap his arm around Tony’s shoulders again, leading him over to sit with him on the lounge and tucking Loki’s cloak about his shoulders. It seemed to be a kind of unconscious reaction how he reached his shaking hands up to wrap it tighter about him, burying his face in the folds.

And on his left hand, a glint of gold.

Tony was wearing his wedding ring, Thor noted sadly.

“I apologise for interrupting Thor, Prince Loki,” Tony  said in that same soft tone of voice, as though he were speaking to a skittish horse. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. But Prince Loki, I will apologise to you again for any wrong or slight that I have done to you since my arrival. I-I know you do not wish to be wed to me.” Tony had his eyes fixed firmly on the floor, and Thor rubbed a gentle circle on his back.

“Hush kitten,” he said, copying Tony’s quiet tone. “You’ve done nothing wrong at all. You are just as Loki is in all this. An arranged marriage is difficult, but if both partners can communicate and learn to work together, love can happen.” He smiled at Loki then. “Look at Natasha and I! We were at odds for many days, until we both agreed to _try_.”

Tony nodded, and lifted his eyes to look at Loki. “I’m willing to try, Prince Loki. I think we could be - ”

But Loki was already shaking his head, and before either Tony or Thor could get another word out, he’d left the room, the door slamming shut behind him and his footsteps echoing down the corridor. Tony sighed and pulled the cloak further over his shoulders.

“Thank you, Thor,” Tony mumbled. “I know you are trying, and I appreciate it. But I don’t think your brother does.” He shrank down deeper into the cloak and closed his eyes. “It will be fine, eventually,” he said, his voice muffled and sad. “As soon as my f-father dies I can move back to Iron Reach, and Loki can remain here to resume his lifestyle of choice.”

Thor couldn’t think of how to answer him, the words he wanted to say sounding weak and just… not enough. So he simply pulled Tony closer to him, cloak and all, and sat in silence until Tony’s breathing slowed and steadied. When he was asleep once more, Thor carefully moved him back to his bed, leaving him wrapped in Loki’s cloak.

He picked up the fallen book from Tony’s bedside table and as he put it back, a small slip of paper fluttered out from between the pages.

It seemed to be a quote, and Thor felt a new kind of sadness for Tony as he read it.

_Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something._

Thor put the paper back between the pages it had fallen from and brushed his fingers over the cover. _The Princess Bride_. The pages were soft and well worn, the cover scuffed and folding. It was very clearly Tony’s favourite book. He walked on silent feet to the door, and paused a moment to look back at the small lump in the bed.

Tony had been with them for only a couple of days, and already Thor felt fierce affection for him. He just wished his brother would settle his emotions and give Tony a chance.

He pulled the door closed and left their chambers. Perhaps their mother would have more luck with Loki.

**~*~**

Frigga watched her youngest son carefully as he made his way through the crowd of people leaving the castle, apologising for his sudden illness yesterday. He was the pinnacle of a well bred Prince as he bowed, shook and kissed hands and helped the older women into their carriages.

She just couldn’t understand what it was about poor Anthony that made him so _antagonistic_ towards the lad. Frigga waited until the last of the guests had left, and Loki was making as though to return to his rooms. She knew he would avoid her if he could. _And that will not be happening_ , she thought as she called to Loki, patting the space beside her on the bench. It was cold out, as the snow started to move in for the winter. They had perhaps another month before they were snowed in for the season. But here, under the awning of the balcony, it was dry at least.

“Loki,” she called again when he showed no sign of having heard her. “Do not ignore me. Come and sit for a moment, hm?”

She saw Loki sigh, the cloud of white his breath left behind too large to be anything else. He sat stiffly beside her, hands clenched in his lap.

“Oh do not be so dramatic, Loki,” she chided him. “You know perfectly well what I want to speak of to you.”

“My husband,” he spat and Frigga just raised her eyebrows at him and waited. She had never been one to indulge a temper tantrum and she would not start it now. “I am _tired_ of talking about him! We have been wed a day and he is all anyone will speak to me about! I care not. What is done is done. He will either accept this or he will leave.”

“Are you quite done, Loki?” He scoffed under his breath at her but nodded nonetheless.

Frigga sighed quietly, and looked back out over the gardens. "I understand that you are unhappy. But you have been cruel for the sake of being cruel. You are not the child I once knew. That boy was mischievous, yes, but he was kind. He cared for others. What happened to that boy?"

She saw from the corner of her eye as Loki flinched at her words, but the memory of poor Anthony standing at his wedding altar, hand still raised and binding cord trailing stopped her from offering comfort.

“My dear, I understand your frustrations, but I do have to wonder why you feel as though Anthony is to blame in all this?”

She remained calm as Loki stood up and starting pacing in frustration. He had been such a sweet boy up until his eighteenth year. His doomed romance with the Princess Sigyn had left a deep and festering wound in his relationship with Odin when the truth of his heritage was revealed. But whether she had birthed him or not, Loki was her son. And she’d not raised such a cruel man.

“Oh do _stop_ with the theatrics Loki, we both know the reason for your frustrations here.” Loki stopped and spun on his heel to glare at her.

“Theatrics, mother? Really?” She simply stared at him, keeping her face as indifferent as possible. She would _not_ give him the pleasure of making her angry.

“And what would you call your little displays over the last few days if not the theatrical carryings-on of a man who feels he has been wronged?”

“I would call them the actions of someone protesting their situation!” Loki snapped back.

Frigga waved her hand and made a dismissive noise. “Ridiculous,” she countered. “If you were truly protesting you would have done so when your father sent his emissary. Instead you waited until it was too late to do so and have since taken out your foul mood on that poor boy!” She stood then, and though Loki was taller than her, she still managed to look down on him as he hunched his shoulders in shame. “You will get yourself together Loki. You are hurting a good man, an _innocent_ man who has done you no wrong. And if you do not, then he will leave when his father passes. And I truly, truly believe that you will have missed something special if he does.”

She brushed her skirts down and turned back to the castle, hesitating just a moment before she left.

“You’re a good man Loki. Anthony is _trying_. Will you not do the same?”

Frigga left Loki standing there under the balcony as she walked inside. He clearly had some thinking to do, and her presence wasn’t going to help. All she could hope was that she had managed to get his conscience to start working again. The sound of soft laughter mixed with Thor’s enthusiastically loud voice met her ears as she entered the main family room.

Anthony was sitting beside Lady Natasha, the two of them holding each other up as they laughed, Thor gesturing wildly as he elaborated on his story. Frigga stayed in the doorway and watched the scene with a smile. Anthony was a beautiful man to look at, true. But he also had a beautiful and pure soul, and she knew that if they weren’t careful, there was a very real chance that Loki would damage it beyond repair.

She took her leave of them as Thor’s story grew ever more wild, and drifted toward the library to fetch Anthony a book on the language of flowers. The clever wee thing had noticed right away that flowers played a significant role in Aysgarth. She left the book on the lounge in their rooms as she passed, and decided to pester the cook into making Anthony’s favourite dish for dinner.

**~*~**

The next several days passed in much the same way. Tony settled into life in the castle as best he could. He waited each night until Loki fell asleep before sneaking from their bed and sleeping on the lounge by the fire, wrapped in his husbands wedding cloak. He woke each morning with a thick blanket on top of him, and tried to remember to thank the maids for it. He was… not happy, exactly, but he wasn’t miserable.

Loki still wouldn’t speak to him, but that was fine. He had discovered that Loki liked to read aloud in the afternoons to the serving staff’s children though, so he would make his way to the library and sit in silence behind a large bookshelf and listen to him read. His voice was wonderful when he wasn’t using it to be cruel.

Tony had been busy this particular day though. He’d been in the castle just over a week now, and Queen Frigga had been _wonderful_. She’d asked the cook to make his favourite dinner – mushroom soup and honey cakes afterwards – and found him a thick book explaining the meanings of Aysgarth’s flowers. Lady Natasha had helped him today, bringing him the big bunch of gathered flowers and helping as he assembled his bouquet.

He didn’t know all the meanings yet, but he’d picked out ones that said what he had been trying to say to Loki all week.

Yellow roses, to tell Loki he could forgive and forget. Pink roses to show he wanted friendship. Snowdrops for hope and hazel branches for reconciliation.

Lady Natasha helped him to wrap it in soft gauze, and tie the bottom off with a white silk ribbon. She’d given him a big hug and kissed his cheek then, leaving him with words of encouragement.

So Tony left the bouquet on Loki’s pillow, and settled himself in to sleep, a nervous fluttering in his stomach.

When he woke the next morning the bouquet was gone, and Tony was surprised to find he’d slept in the bed the whole night. He didn’t see Loki at all that day, and spent his time helping Thor with the inventory for winter.

“Here is where we keep our main stores,” Thor said, opening the doors to a massive room stocked floor to ceiling with stone jars and wooden crates. Tony could see dried fruits, root vegetables, bags of flour and strings of garlic bulbs hanging from the ceiling. “And of course, we have our garden inside.”

Tony stared at him in shock. “ _Inside?!_ ” So Thor had taken him to a small room at the back of the house, next to the kitchen. It was an odd room, the walls made entirely of glass.

He stared in awe at the rows and rows of fresh produce growing, at the flowers and bushes growing along the furthest wall. Thor laughed, and clapped him on the back.

“Where did you think my wife gathered your flowers from yesterday, kitten?”

Tony flushed and shook his head. “I um, I didn’t think to ask.” Thor laughed again, and Tony couldn’t help but smile back. “Your home is remarkable, Thor.”

“ _Our_ home, Tony,” Thor corrected him with a squeeze to his shoulder. “This is your home now too.”

Tony gave him a weak smile and moved away to trail his fingertips over some of the flowers as he walked. “It’s only my home until Howard dies,” he said eventually. “And then Loki will ask me to return to Iron Reach and I will stay there, summoned back here at the whim of my husband to maintain the social niceties.”

Thor sighed, and opened his mouth as though to say something in return, but the chimes signalling them for dinner echoed through the room, and Thor just shrugged.

“Come along then, little kitten. You need fattening up if you’re going to survive a winter here in the North!”

Tony followed Thor out of the flower room and through the castle to the dining hall. Aysgarth Castle had nine entertaining and dining halls, and one smaller room that the family used daily for meals. It was to here that Thor led Tony, going so far as to pull his chair out for him and give him a cheeky wink when he was seated. Instead of the massive feasting tables, there was a small wooden table, lit with candles and the fire that burned brightly in the corner fireplace. It was a small, cheerful room and it made Tony happy to see. It felt like a proper family room.

Lady Natasha propped her chin on her hand and waited until she caught his eye before she waggled her eyebrows at him. “So, my lovely little _kotenok_ ,” she said, a hint of teasing in her voice. “Have you received a reply to your bouquet?”

Tony shook his head and fidgeted with the cutlery beside his plate. “Not yet, milady,” he said quietly. “But I hope it was a step in the right direction at any rate.”

“Did you put that book to use already, darling?” Frigga asked him, giving him an enormous smile, her green eyes warm and friendly as she looked over at him. Tony loved Frigga’s smiles, the way she seemed to light up from the inside out whenever she did. It was obvious who Thor took after.

“I did, your Majesty,” he replied enthusiastically, and left the cutlery alone to lean closer to her. Learning anything new always excited him, and to be learning something that made other people happy was always a bonus. “I haven’t learnt the meanings all by heart yet, but I have read it cover to cover. It’s fascinating, saying something with flowers when the words fail you. I - ”

Tony stopped speaking then as he felt everyone’s eyes suddenly shift to his left shoulder. He turned his head and was greeted with the sight of his husband standing there, one arm behind his back, his hair braided and a small smile on his face. Tony wasn’t sure if it was a kind smile or not, but it was one he hadn’t seen before.

“Prince Loki,” he said, offering him a smile of his own. “It’s good to see you.”

Loki just nodded his head, and brought his arm out from behind his back. He was holding an enormous bouquet and Tony felt the way his face flushed red with pleasure.

“For you, husband,” Loki said softly and placed the bouquet on Tony’s lap. Tony immediately brought them up to his face to admire and breathe in their scent. He heard both Frigga and Natasha draw in a sharp breath, and he looked up at them.

“Look,” he grinned. “Aren’t they lovely?” Loki was still standing by his shoulder, and Tony had received a beautiful bouquet in answer to his own. Maybe this was it after all. This would be the turning point, and he and Loki would finally –

“Tony,” Natasha’s voice was very quiet and very sad, and Tony instantly knew that whatever she said next wasn’t going to be pleasant. “Sweet _kotenok_ , those… those flowers mean…” she took a deep breath and shot Loki a killer glare. “ _You asshole,”_ she muttered under breath before focusing back on Tony.

He knew his face would be telling her everything he felt right now, it always did. His father always said his face was an open book. “You can tell me, Natasha,” he whispered, feeling every bit of hope he’d held slip through his fingers like sand. He put the bouquet beside his empty plate and stared at it.

“Yellow Carnations – No. Rue – disdain. Hydrangeas - heartlessness,” she said in that same quiet, sad voice. Tony pressed his lips together tightly so he wouldn’t throw up as Loki leant down.

“I'd suggest you return to your own kingdom today, but I understand your father desires your presence even less than I do. I can't imagine why," Loki whispered in his ear, as he bent down to brush a kiss across Tony’s cheek. Tony felt the first hot tear slip down his cheek as Loki moved away from him, giving his shoulder a gentle pat as he did.

“Enjoy your meal,” Loki said as he walked back out of the room, as nonchalantly as he’d entered. As though he hadn’t just crushed Tony’s heart in his hands. “I believe I will dine in my rooms.”

** **~*~** **

Natasha didn’t even wait until Loki had cleared the room before she was up and out of her seat, moving to pull Tony against her chest and bury her face in his hair.

“Breathe, Antosha,” she murmured. “Breathe. I have you.” Tony gave a huge shuddering sigh and went completely limp in her arms as he pressed his face down into her chest. Thor moved behind her and gently guided her onto his lap, keeping her a little taller than Tony so he didn’t have to move his face.

She shushed him again when he tried to stutter something and whispered reassurances into his hair. Thor wrapped his arms around her waist, and let his hand rest on Tony’s shoulders. Frigga was giving quiet instructions to the serving staff to clear the room, and Natasha was never more grateful that Odin hadn’t been with them this evening.

Natasha closed her eyes, ignored the wet spot growing slowly on her bodice, and focused her thoughts on what she was going to do to Loki when she got her hands on him.

She understood, she really did to a point. Her own feelings towards her marriage had been so very similar when James had sent her across the sea to marry Thor. But Thor hadn’t pushed her away quite like this, and they’d worked hard together to make things work. Natasha knew she was blessed that they’d found love along the way.

“Hush now, Antoshka,” she soothed him again, pity flooding her as she held his shaking body to her.

“I-I-I’m so _sorry_ ,” came the broken little whisper from between her breasts, and Natasha had to physically bite her tongue to stop herself from calling out a duel of challenge to Loki for this sweet man in her arms. “L-Lady N-N-Nat-Natasha…”

“You may call me Tasha, Tony, we’re family,” she kissed his curly head again and cursed Loki in all the ways she could remember from her homeland.

Her country could often seem cruel to any but those who lived there. But to her, it was home. They were a kingdom of warriors, of fighters and survivors carved from the ice shelves their home rested upon. Their father had been a strong, good King and when he was felled in battle, James hadn’t hesitated to step up and take the mantle of the Winter Soldier.

He led their armies against the last of the enemy and slaughtered them all, returning home a new and triumphant King. And his first official act had been to secure their peace with Midgard by sending her to wed the son of their royal family.

For all that she’d been so angry with him at first, he’d at least been there the day she said her vows to Thor.

Tony had been completely alone.

“Can you stand, _kotenok_?” Natasha kept her voice low and soothing when she asked him a little while later. Tony gave a tiny nod and moved away from her, and Thor tucked a linen square into his hands as he did. “Wipe your face my darling, and we will take you to our quarters for the night.”

Tony wiped at his eyes and shook his head. “I-I-I won’t ruin y-your evening any further,” his voice was so hoarse, and his eyes were a frightful red. “A-a-and I won’t let him k-keep me from our rooms.” He straightened his shoulders, and Natasha felt so _proud_ of him then. He would have been most welcome in her homeland. He was broken, they were all broken, but he was picking up his own pieces even as more fell off.

“You are very brave, my Antosha,” she smiled at him, and kissed him softly on the lips, laughing when he stammered and stuttered, looking at Thor with wide eyes. Thor just laughed as well, and shifted so he too could press a kiss to Tony’s lips. Tony stared at both of them, his eyes wide and tears forgotten.

“Tis just a gesture of our affection for you, kitten,” Thor grinned at him. “Do not fret, we do not wish to lure you to our bed. But where my wife is from, affection is freely given, as is love. And you, Tony, you are in need of both.”

Tony stared at them both, shock and confusion on his face. “B-but I… I mean, I was given… um, love?” Natasha watched as he frowned and was clearly thinking. “I mean, Father never said it as such, but he kept me? Gave me tutors and books… tha-that’s love.”

Thor carefully set Natasha on her feet and stepped forward, scooping Tony up into his arms and crushing him against his chest in an enormous bear hug. “Tony, that’s not love, not really.” Thor loosened his grasp a little and looked Tony in the eye.

“Love is not just being given the necessities to live, kitten. It is knowing that someone values your existence, it is… this,” he set Tony gently on his feet, and swept his arms out to his sides, gesturing to the people around them. “It’s home and it’s a family, Tony.”

“He’s quite right, darling boy,” Frigga smiled when Tony gave a small jerk of shock, whirling on the spot to face the Queen, his cheeks red and eyes wide. Natasha hid a smile in her hand. “Your father may have _kept_ you, but he did not raise you. Nor did he teach you about love or family. So we shall.” She moved slowly, giving him a chance to move, and when Tony just stood still and stared at her, she wrapped him up in her arms.

“For all that my son is acting unfathomably cruel, I do still believe that he will come around,” she whispered into his ear. “And you my sweet lad, will show him what it means to love someone. You would be so good for each other. Don’t give up on him,” she gave him a kiss to his cheek and stepped back, as she watched his face carefully. Tony’s eyes were shuttered and he looked both miserable and somehow happy. But after a few moments he nodded his head, and brought his hands to rest on top of hers.

“I will… try,” he agreed eventually. “But I cannot try forever.”

**~*~**

Loki watched silently as the moon slowly rose and bathed their room in a soft, white glow. He closed his eyes as he heard the sounds of Anthony carefully slipping from their bed, the quiet rustle of the blankets as he folded them back into place and then the small creaking of their door as it swung open and then shut again.

He sighed and opened his eyes again. He’d been… beyond cruel to that man today. To his _husband_. He’d humiliated him in front of his new family and friends, and then taunted him with his relationship with his father. Loki covered his face with his arm and tried to find his sense of calm.

There was a sick feeling in his gut that he’d done something that wouldn’t be forgiven today. When he’d come to bed last night and seen that Anthony was actually asleep in their bed, he’d felt… strangely happy. And then to see that bouquet on his pillow had been like a slap to the face.

It was exactly the same as the one Sigyn had sent him on her wedding day to that oaf Fandral.

But he had been so sure that no one had seen that. Clearly he’d been wrong… hadn’t he? He and Lady Natasha had never been close but they’d been getting there lately. Loki moved his arm and sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees as he brought them up to his chest. He propped his chin on his knees and thought. Had he told her of the bouquet from Sigyn? Or had she seen it before he’d burnt it?

Loki felt a little roll of guilt and nausea then. _What if she didn’t know? What if that had been a genuine offering from Anthony?_

Because that would make him every bit as much a monster as he’d been told he was. Natasha had cornered him whilst Thor was walking Anthony to the library after their disastrous dinner, and had not held back with her words.

 _“How dare you, Loki! You absolutely selfish, Gods be damned ass! He put so many hours of research into that! He put every bloom and branch in place – wouldn’t accept any more help from me than to assist him with tying it off! You are_ destroying _him, Loki. It is cruel beyond anything I’ve ever seen from you! So what if you are unhappy? You think he is not? That he is not also scared and a little angry at all this? He…” she paused and took a deep breath, holding it for a long, long moment before she let it out almost silently. Her eyes met his then and she refused to even blink._

 _“He is alone here. No family to turn to, no friends of his own to seek out for comfort. Loki, he is so innocent of all of this, and he is doing his best. He still believes in love at first sight. Our_ kotenok _believes in hope, in fairytales and second chances. He started falling for you the first moment he saw you, and was crushed when you flaunted your lovers. Tony apologised to us after dinner tonight because he honestly believed that what happened was in some way_ his _fault.”_

 _Natasha took a step forward and brought her hand up so suddenly to rest on his cheek that Loki was shocked she didn’t slap him. “I don’t know why you’re doing this, but you stop now, Loki Asgeir or I am going to make you sorry in ways you cannot imagine.” She stepped back and glared once more at him. “Do svidaniya, Loki_. _”_

She’d left him then, standing outside of the doors to their rooms with a feeling of burning shame.

Loki licked suddenly dry lips and glanced at the door. He stood silently, and carefully opened the bedroom door. Just as he had every night before, he made sure to take a thick blanket from their bed with him.

Anthony was curled into an impossibly small ball on the end of the lounge closest to the fireplace, wrapped up in Loki’s wedding cloak. Loki felt his own eyes prickle a little as he saw the still drying tears on Anthony’s cheeks reflecting the moonlight. He changed his mind then, and took the blanket back to their bed. He came back and very gently and carefully, slipped his arms under his husband’s slight frame and lifted him to his chest.

He paused a moment and looked down at Anthony’s sleeping face. Even as he slept there was a small furrow between his brows, and he looked so pale and tired. _Was this my doing?_ Loki thought as he began to slowly make his way back to their bedroom. As he stood before the bed, Loki found himself loathe to put his husband down.

Instead, he tightened his grip a little and with some tricky manoeuvring got himself positioned on the bed with Anthony tight in his arms, still wrapped in the cloak. Anthony didn’t wake, just mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like _‘Loki’_ and burrowed in closer to him, his hands finding Loki’s shirt and gripping it tightly.

Loki stared at him in shock. All that he’d put him through already, and Anthony would still seek this out? Even in his sleep, Anthony wanted _him_.

Wanted _Loki_.

The moon outside continued to rise, and eventually to fall, and Loki simply sat and watched his husband sleeping in his arms. When Anthony began to stir around dawn, Loki gently moved him to the pillows and tucked the blankets around his still cloak-wrapped form, and left the room.

He walked slowly through the quiet castle, letting his mind drift and wander as he did. The sunrise found him sitting on the floor outside of his brother’s chambers, waiting for first light so he could knock. But as he stood and raised his fist, he heard the quiet rumbling of his brothers voice and changed his mind.

No. Things were… they were as they were. He would give Anthony the benefit of the doubt for the bouquet, but that was it.

He pushed the image of Anthony’s face, so pained and sad even in his sleep out of his mind and left. He made his way to the kitchens instead, deciding against joining his family. Loki sat quietly at the table as the cook gave him his coffee – dark and bitter and perfect – and very deliberately didn’t think of just how perfect Anthony had felt curled up in his arms all night.

Anthony might still believe in love, and fairytales, but Loki knew better.

Love only got you hurt, and fairytales didn’t exist.

**~*~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations and misunderstandings..

** ~*~ **

Tony was having odd dreams.

They’d started the night of what he’d dubbed the ‘flower incident’ a week before. He was still leaving the bed at night, not wanting to force his presence on Loki more than necessary yet every morning he woke warm in bed. But he was dreaming every single night of strong arms that held him tightly throughout the night, of soft words and kisses pressed to his cheek as the sun rose.

And it was making him feel pathetic. Because in his dreams he knew it was Loki. Could smell the sandalwood and vanilla scent of his soap and feel the soft caress of his hair as Loki kissed his cheek. But he knew better. Loki still didn’t acknowledge him beyond a curt ‘good night, Anthony’ if he was awake when his husband came in. They’d been married for a little over two weeks now, and had yet to even have one civil conversation.

Tony was starting to learn his way about the castle, to recognise faces amongst the serving staff and spent most of his days with either Queen Frigga or Lady Natasha and her husband. But he felt like he was constantly standing on the outside looking in. King Odin had spent some time with him, teaching him some of their customs and traditions for the menfolk, and showing him the stables. Tony quite liked the ornery old king.

Tony was insanely curious though as to who it was moving him at night and tucking him into his bed. He knew that it had to be someone strong, but he couldn’t for the life of him work out who it was. He’d briefly entertained the idea that it was Loki, but the thought had made him laugh aloud in the middle of the library. His money now, however, was on Thor.

So he just let it happen, content to know  _ someone _ cared enough to move him, and did his best to try and stay out of Loki’s way. But his dreams continued, and even though the rational part of Tony’s mind knew that it wasn’t Loki doing it, he couldn’t help but wish it was. That his husband cared even a fraction of what he did.

Tony had thought about trying something again, not another big bouquet but perhaps a single flower this time? He was still thinking it over at breakfast time and was so lost in his thoughts that when Lady Natasha tapped his arm to get his attention he flung his teacup right across the room.

Thor burst into laughter and slumped over his plate, and Tony just sat with his mouth hanging open in shock. “I-I-I am  _ so _ sorry!”

Natasha let a most unladylike snort out, and grinned at him. “Well now,  _ kotenok _ , if you are that skittish, perhaps we should give you the miscast cups we give to the children, hm?” Her voice was light and her tone teasing, but Tony could see in her eyes the unasked question.  _ Are you alright? _

“Thank you, milady,” he mumbled in reply, “but I was simply caught off guard whilst my thoughts were… elsewhere.”

“Errant thoughts so early in the day, sweet boy? Are you perhaps planning something?” Tony looked up at Frigga and gave her a small smile.

“I was, um, thinking perhaps… that I might extend one last literal olive branch to my husband?”

Thor quelled his laughter at that, lifting his head from his arms to stare, and both Frigga and Natasha seemed to sit up straighter as they looked at him.

“After all my brother has done to you, still you wish for this, Tony?” Thor asked him, picking up his own teacup and cradling it between his massive hands. “Surely you wish to just… let it go?”

Tony shook his head. “No. I understand that Prince Loki has… has some issues with us, with our marriage, but even if we are nothing more than civil… that would be enough,” he ended on a whisper. “To not feel invisible when he is near, that would be enough.”

“Oh Tony,” Natasha sighed. “You are too good for him.”

Tony shook his head and picked at the long sleeves of his new shirt. The winter winds had truly settled in now, and though the castle was warm and insulated, there was still a noticeable chill in the air. The fact that he’d started wearing Loki’s colours however, had slipped no ones attention. He still wore his wedding ring, and slept each night wrapped in Loki’s cloak.

_ I am pathetic _ , he sighed to himself. Aloud, he replied, “I just want him to be a little happy too, that’s all.”

He excused himself then, and made his way to what he’d dubbed ‘the flower room’ by the kitchen. The cook was always happy to see him, and gave him hot tea with honey and cinnamon as he passed through. It was easily the warmest part of the castle, and he’d taken to spending time there each day, studying the flowers and even sketching some of them. But he went there today for a specific flower, his  _ Secret Language of the Flowers _ book clutched tightly in his arms.

A single pink carnation. According to the book it meant  _ I will never forget you _ .

Tony knew it was ridiculous, that he was setting himself up to hurt more, but he had to try one more time. Had to let Loki know that he was serious. Because no matter how badly Loki acted towards him now, he had seen glimpses of the good man he was inside - the man who read to the children of the staff, who took such good care of his horse. He had heard Loki’s mother, his father and brother speak of his goodness. Tony just needed to get him to direct it towards  _ him _ .

Because Tony was beginning to understand a few things about himself lately. And the depth of his feelings towards the man who’d been nothing but cruel to him so far was terrifying him. And no matter how this ended he would never forget Loki.

So he carefully chose his flower, trimmed the stem and left it on Loki’s pillow with a small note that night as he laid himself down for bed.

_ ‘ Prince Loki, _

_ I am sorry if this seems forward at all. But, I will wait for you at breakfast time in the library, in the hopes we may have a conversation and begin to work things out between us. _

_ I hope to see you. _

_ -Anthony. ‘ _

Tony was up early the next morning, and was surprised to find that he’d woken up on the lounge. He was covered in a blanket, but not the one he usually was, and he hadn’t been moved back to bed. He could barely remember leaving their bed to move to the settee. Tony tried to push the feeling of  _ bad _ that was creeping over him away, but it was a persistent feeling. The flower and the note were gone though, so Tony allowed himself to have hope.

He dressed carefully, taking his time to choose his clothes to match what he’d seen Loki wearing recently. Dark green tunic and an almost black vest sat overtop his black woollen leggings, and his favourite boots finished it. Tony gave himself a harsh glare in the mirror. “You will  _ not _ let this fail! You are his husband and you are going to show him you can be a good one to him. You won’t stutter and make a fool of yourself again.”

He sighed and ran one last nervous hand over his hair. Not the most encouraging speech he’d ever given himself, but hopefully it helped. Tony was so nervous he felt ill as he walked to the library. But he made sure to nod and smile at the staff he passed the same as he did everyday. But he couldn’t stop his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as he forced himself to walk at a normal pace.

Tony walked in slowly and sat in the seat by the window so he could see the door, and fidgeted with his wedding ring as he waited.

** ~*~ **

“Has anyone seen Tony yet today? It’s almost sundown and I’ve yet to see him at all.” Thor looked up from his book and frowned at his wife who was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed and a worried look on her face.

“I haven’t now that I think on it,” he said slowly, closing his book and lowering it. “Mother?” But Frigga was already shaking her head.

“No, we were supposed to meet for afternoon tea and he never showed up. I assumed he had forgotten or was resting. He’s looked so tired lately.” Frigga sighed. “You don’t suppose his attempt to reconcile with Loki has gone badly?”

Natasha moved quickly across the room and knocked her husband’s book from his hands. “Come on Thor. We’re going to find him.” She tugged at Thor’s sleeve until he stood and they made their farewells to the Queen.

“We’ll start with the library, then the warm-house,” she said as she stomped along through the halls. “I swear to every deity that is daring to listen I will  _ castrate _ your brother if he has used his vile words again!”

Thor swallowed audibly and nodded his head, wisely deciding to keep silent. He adored his wife, but when she was in a temper – silence and distance had kept him alive so far.

They made it to the library in what Thor was certain was a record time from the small reading room, and Tony was visible as soon as they peeked through the door. He was sitting in the chair by the window, his boots on the floor beside him and his whole body somehow curled up onto the chair. Tony’s face was hidden from them by the angle of his body as he stared out of the window. Natasha sighed almost silently, and moved forward, but Thor put a hand on her arm to stop her.

“Wife, I would ask that you find my brother, ask him what has transpired, hm?” The look his wife gave him Thor was positive would have put a lesser man in his grave. “Please darling. I do not think he needs sympathy right now.”

Natasha threw her hands up and stalked off, grumbling under breath in her native tongue. Thor caught the words for ‘ _ men _ ’ and ‘ _ goddamned morons with more penis than brains _ ’, and bit his lip to hold back a laugh. 

His wife was a mighty woman indeed. He turned his eye back to the dejected little figure hunched up by the window, and silently cursed. Taking a deep breath, Thor steeled himself and approached slowly.

“Tony,” he kept his voice low, barely above a whisper, and soothing as he drew closer to him. “We have missed you today. Are you well, kitten?”

Tony didn’t move, and Thor saw as he finally came to a halt in front of him, that his eyes were closed, his breathing deep and steady.

_ He’s asleep _ , Thor grinned. He picked Tony’s boots up and tucked them under his arm. Then he very gently picked Tony up, wondering as he did every time he picked the man up how someone so light didn’t just blow away on the breeze. Thor had lifted  _ actual _ kittens that weighed more, he was sure of it.

Tony didn’t wake, simply rubbed his cheek against Thor’s shirt –  _ kitten, indeed _ , he thought warmly – and went limp in his arms. Thor walked slowly and carefully back to the rooms Tony shared with Loki, deciding to simply tuck Tony onto his chosen spot on the settee. He’d found him there last night when Natasha had insisted that he check in on Tony before they turned in for the night.

He had been curled into the corner closest to the fireplace with nothing more than Loki’s wedding cloak again. So Thor had fetched a thick blanket from the chest by their door and tucked him in firmly. If he was going to sleep on the lounge, he would at least be warm.

Hoping that for once they’d get lucky and the rooms would be empty, Thor used his foot to nudge the already ajar door open completely. He peeked in and was relieved to find the main room empty. Shifting Tony slightly in his arms so as not to jostle him as he set him down, Thor made his way over the settee to lay him down.

But as he came round the back, he noticed someone already there. Loki was sitting in the corner where Tony usually slept, looking ruffled and upset. Thor tightened his grip on Tony and came to stand before his little brother. Loki’s shirt was unfastened, his leggings rumpled and his hair was a curly fright about his pale face.

“Are you well, Loki?” Thor felt the first flickering’s of worry as he took in his brother’s appearance. Loki prided himself on always being well put together.

Loki shook his head. “I rather fear I’m not, brother,” his voice was hoarse and quiet when he replied. “I… your wife tells me that I have apparently wronged my husband again. And yet… I honestly could not tell you  _ how _ .” Loki shrugged and looked up at his brother then, and Thor immediately understood. The dark circles under Loki’s eyes, the rumpled clothes, the tangled hair… “I was in the Eastern Library from noon yesterday until just now. There were some new texts that Lady Sif brought back from her travels to the Amethyst Isles.”

Loki gave him a weary grin, “I was excited to learn the properties of the new crystals they have recently discovered. According to Healer Cho, they are quite potent in regards to their healing properties when used against poisons.”

Thor sighed and shuffled Tony around so that he could sit beside Loki. Tony made a small whimpering noise as he sat and Thor noticed the way that Loki’s hands twitched in his lap, as though he’d held back some move towards Tony.

That was… promising. Thor wondered if he could get any other reactions from his usually stoic brother. “Did my wife believe you?” Loki nodded.

“She took one good look at me and told me I looked like something scraped from beneath a horses hoof, and to make sure I talk to Anthony.” He looked away then, focusing his eyes on the fireplace. “It’s why I was out here. Anthony… he leaves our bed when he thinks I am asleep, and comes out here. I have been bringing him back to bed recently. It is too cold.”

Thor bit his cheek to stop the grin he could feel trying to escape. Instead he kept his voice as casual as he could. “And Tony hasn’t realised it was you moving him?”

“No,” Loki sighed, and picked nervously at his nails, a habit Thor recognised as one he’d had since he was a child. “He seems to be under the, uh, somewhat incorrect assumption that – that I - ” Loki hung his head and mumbled something Thor couldn’t make out, but he had a feeling he knew.

“Loki, Tony thinks that you hate him,” he said bluntly. Loki flinched and nodded.

“I have been unnecessarily cruel, and I am ashamed of that,” he whispered. “It was never my intention to be so, truly it wasn’t. But… when I met him, when I saw how innocent he was, how happy to meet me… it brought something dark out in me. And all I could see was every good thing that Father was taking from me.” He scoffed bitterly before he said, “And every good thing he already  _ has _ taken from me.”

_ Ah.  _ “You mean the Princess Sigyn.” Loki gave another miserable little nod.

“She was my first love, Thor. And when I saw that the bouquet of flowers Anthony had left me that day were the same as she had sent to me on the day of her wedding… I confess that I snapped. Lady Natasha was the only one who knew of it, and I didn’t think she’d ever be so cruel but,” he paused and licked dry lips before looking up at Thor, a pleading expression in his eyes. “My mind has not been a kind place to me these past few years, brother,” Loki confessed. “And I immediately assumed the worst of all involved.” He flicked a guilty look at Tony’s sleeping face. “And my husband, a man so innocent he believes in love and fairytales, has been the one to take it all.”

Thor sighed then, and in a few swift movements had Loki rearranged so he was laying on the settee with Tony pressed against his side, the cloak and blanket over them both.

“Thor – brother –  _ what are you doing? _ ” Loki hissed at him as he held his arms awkwardly above Tony. “What – what am I supposed to do?”

Thor put his hands on his hips and gave his brother the best imitation of his wife’s most vicious glare he could. “You will lay there, Loki Asgeir, and you will  _ hold your husband _ . And then when he wakes, you are going to tell him  _ exactly _ what you told me. This ends now. This nonsense that is between you. The cruelty and the silence. No more Loki. Am I heard and understood?” Thor’s tone left no room for argument, and Loki nodded once. Thor watched with well-concealed glee as his little brother wrapped his long arms about Tony and drew him closer still.

He turned to leave when Loki buried his face in Tony’s curls and drew a deep, shuddering breath that sounded perilously close to a sob. Thor let the door close quietly behind him as he heard his brother’s voice quietly whisper apologies into Tony’s hair.

** ~*~ **

When Tony woke the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was so  _ warm _ . And his pillow was more comfortable then he could ever remember it being.

It also seemed to be breathing and… was that a  _ heartbeat?! _

Tony took a deep breath and caught the scent of sandalwood and vanilla. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked heavily to clear the sleep from them as he took in his surroundings.

The pillow he was laying on was in fact Loki’s chest, the blankets wrapped tightly about them both. Tony moved a little and Loki’s arms tightened their grip around him. He flexed his toes, and realised that his legs were threaded through Loki’s as well.

“Wha- _ what _ ?”

“Do not panic, husband.” Tony blinked up at Loki’s face, his husband’s sleepy green eyes half-lidded and staring down at him. “This was Thor’s doing. If you wish to move, I will of course let you up.” Loki bit his lip and closed his eyes again, with a small sigh. “I will confess to you that I am enjoying this closeness, however.”

Tony couldn’t help the sound of disbelief he let out at that, and immediately felt his face flush red with shame. “S-s-s-sorry, Pr-Prince Loki,” he mumbled. He felt the chest under his cheek heave a sigh then, and Loki’s arms flexed around him, tightening for just a moment.

“Anthony, I wonder… may we talk?” Loki asked him quietly. “I feel there is much that needs to be said between us. I am also under the impression that I have somehow wronged you yesterday, and I would apologise for that if I actually knew what it was that I had done.”

Tony could feel the shock on his face as he stared at him. “Y-you don’t know what… you didn’t…”

Loki rubbed a hand along his arm. “Take a breath, Anthony. You do not need to stutter so with me. I am aware that it is worse when you’re nervous or anxious. I apologise that I’ve made you feel that way.” Loki moved his hand from Tony’s arm to rest against the side of his neck, and Tony realised now where he got the gesture from. It was the same grip that Thor would often use right before he dragged Tony in close to bump their foreheads together.

“Please do not call me Prince, husband,” he whispered down to Tony. “I regret that things have deteriorated to this point between us. I know the blame is entirely on my shoulders, but I hope… I hope you would give me a chance to explain?”

Tony lay there listening to the first words his husband had spoken to him since his arrival that weren’t cruel or vicious and wondered exactly what spell he was under.

Loki gave an awkward sounding chuckle then. “I am under no spell, Anthony, I have simply… had time to realise that I’ve been cruel for the sake of being cruel. Lady Natasha is quite persuasive in making someone listen when they are wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony mumbled and pressed his face into Loki’s chest. It was so  _ firm _ and warm. He didn’t ever want to move. “I didn’t mean to say that aloud.”

Tony could feel as Loki nodded. “When you arrived,” he said softly, and Tony realised then that he was serious about talking. “When you arrived, I was still so angry with my father. But I thought… I thought perhaps you might feel the same as me. I didn’t realise that you were so innocent.” Tony stiffened a little in his arms at that. “Please, Anthony, do not take that badly. Your innocence, it… is endearing in its own way. I simply regret that at the time I couldn’t see it.”

Tony heard him swallow, and closed his eyes. Loki felt so wonderful pressed against him, his voice calm and not cruel.

“Anthony, I must truly apologise to you for my behaviour. I have been unkind and cold to you. If you would allow me to explain myself, I feel that perhaps… we may have a chance to make this work between us after all?” Tony hummed in agreement, and rubbed his cheek against Loki’s soft shirt. His husband made an amused noise. “Thor was right,” he said, his voice warm with affection. “You are like a kitten.”

Tony snorted. “Shall I purr then, husband?” he grumbled. “Everyone c-calls me  _ kitten _ .”

Loki slid his hand up from Tony’s neck to rest in his hair, fingernails lightly scratching his scalp.  _ Damn the bastard, _ Tony thought. Because it felt so  _ good. _

“You really are rather like one,” Loki agreed. “You’re quite a vicious snuggler in your sleep.”

“I am  _ not! _ ”

Loki gave him a look, and pointedly wiggled one of his legs that Tony was firmly wrapped around with his own. “Well, it’s not  _ my _ fault your legs are in the way,” Tony sniffed. Loki laughed a little.

“You’re a sassy little thing, aren’t you?” He sighed then, and Tony knew as well that as much as the joking and light-heartedness between them was wonderful…

“We really should talk,” Tony said, muffling his words into Loki’s chest again as he pushed his face back into the fold of his husband’s shirt.

“The bouquet you gave me,” Loki said. “Where did you get the idea to use those particular flowers?”

“Queen F-Frigga, she gave me a book. I noticed on our wedding day that flowers seem to be, um, important here in the North. I wanted to learn… I wanted a way to talk to you…”

Loki’s hand stopped scratching at his head, and he brought both his arms back around Tony. “I owe you an explanation, and an apology for that, Anthony.”

Tony lay quietly in Loki’s arms, breathing in his scent and listening as Loki explained his reaction; whoever this Princess Sigyn was, she’d clearly been the love of his life. The thought made Tony feel as though all the air had been pushed from his lungs, and he bit at his lip to keep from asking what he desperately wanted to.

_ Do you love her still? Does she still hold your heart completely? _

“I thought that perhaps Lady Natasha had somehow gained the knowledge of it, and was…” he trailed off. “I’m not sure, Anthony. All I could see was red. My reaction was cruel in the extreme. I hope you will accept my sincere apology for that, and for all the wrongs I have already done to you. I had no right to behave as I have.” Loki kissed him gently on the crown of his head, and Tony sighed. “I have been behaving exactly like the spoiled brats I have always despised,” Loki admitted. “I can only ask your forgiveness, and if you are not ready to forgive me then perhaps you will give me the chance to earn it?”

Tony nodded his head. “I forgive you, Loki,” he whispered. “There is no point in holding a grudge against the man I am wed to. It would make our lives together feel much longer than they should.”

Tony was content to lay there, to feel his husband’s body pressed against his and his arms wrapped firmly about him.

Because Tony knew, deep down in his heart, that the only reason Loki was with him like this now was because Thor had thrust them together last night. He knew with absolute certainty that the reason he was getting apologies and embraces, soft words and tenderness was because Loki had been forced to do so. There was nothing remarkable enough about  _ Tony _ that he’d caught Loki’s attention. Howard had told him often enough that he was worth no ones attention for long. Who would want to listen to a stammering mess? No, this sudden affection from Loki was simple to explain, to reason out to himself.

It was guilt. 

All of this morning was just guilt. Thor, Natasha and his mother had been hounding after Loki since Tony had arrived, trying to force him to be kinder. Clearly, Loki was just tired of them chasing after him. It was easier to pretend to care for Tony than to have his family against him constantly.

But he didn’t hold it against Loki. He wouldn’t want to be wed to him either. So he forgave him, and he meant it, for what good would a grudge against the man he was to be with for the rest of his life do? All it would do is fester between them, becoming hatred and spite as the years passed.

So Tony soaked it all up. He savoured every squeeze of Loki’s arms, every press of his lips against his head and every gently spoken word of apology and explanation. He listened as Loki spoke of his anger towards his father, his status as an adopted son and why he’d been so upset on their wedding day. He forgave Loki every time.

And when Loki asked if he might kiss Tony’s cheek as they stood to dress for the day, Tony smiled at him. He could end up lost in Loki’s green eyes if he stared too long at him, he decided. Loki was like the sun, all he had to do was smile at Tony and that would be enough.

Tony had never loved someone before, but he imagined it felt rather like this. Like falling and standing all at once, warm as a blanket all around him and smelling of sandalwood and vanilla. So he smiled up at his husbands hopeful face, and he said quietly, “As you wish.”

** ~*~ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee and Conversations

 

**~*~**

Loki felt, over the course of the next few days, as though he’d maybe done something right in his life after all. Anthony and he were actually learning more about one another each day, spending their days together and the nights with Anthony held firmly in his arms. He still insisted on sleeping with Loki’s cloak on top of the blankets, but Loki was more than happy to go along with it. After all he’d done, the least he could do was to give Anthony whatever comfort he wanted. The maids had found Anthony’s note and flower beneath the bed, swept there by the breeze, and Anthony had seemed almost shocked that it had been so easily explained.

The first morning that they’d gone down into the small dining hall together, Loki had seen the way his mother’s eyes had widened in shock when she saw him holding Anthony’s hand. And then he’d seen the pride and delight in her face when she saw he was smiling too. He’d bent to kiss her cheek good morning, and Frigga had whispered to him,  _ “I am so proud of you, Loki.” _

Thor had beamed at him over his coffee cup as Anthony took his usual seat beside him and gave the big blond a smile. Natasha had quirked a brow at him and Loki swore she was looking under his skin.  _ What _ she was looking for he had no idea, but she clearly approved in the end, as she’d smiled at him and he was still alive.

Anthony seemed like a different person now. He smiled more, laughed more and his stutter was almost non-existent. He and Loki spent hours discussing books, and obscure studies they’d read. He frequently referenced a book he said was his favourite, but Loki had yet to read it. Loki escorted him daily as they walked the halls of the Castle, the snowfall outside too deep now to walk through.

But it was the nights that Loki adored most. When Anthony would wait until the candles were extinguished and then shuffle his way across their bed to where Loki laid waiting for him. Anthony would drag the cloak over the blankets and rest his head on Loki’s chest, his hands holding tight to the fabric of his nightshirt. And Loki would lie there and listen to him breathe and mumble in his sleep, thanking every listening God that Anthony had given him this second chance. 

Anthony wasn’t ready to go any further than letting Loki hold him, or press kisses to his cheeks and brow, but for Loki it was enough. It was more than enough.

“Loki…” He looked down at where Anthony was sleeping, his face almost hidden in Loki’s shirt. “…fl’wers are lov’ly…” Loki felt a sick feeling rising in his stomach. “L-Loki don’ leave…”

_ Oh, Gods. He’s dreaming of our wedding day. _

He shifted his husband around so that Anthony’s head was tucked under his chin and rubbed gentle circles on his back. “Hush darling, I am sorry… I’m not leaving you, not again.” Loki kept his voice hushed and calm as he tried to soothe his husband. Anthony gave a shuddery little gasp and Loki felt as his body went from pliant and sleep-warm to stiff and tight with tension.

“I-I-I’m sorry, Loki,” his voice was breathy and so quiet, “I didn’t m-mean to wake you.”

Anthony’s hands were still wrapped tightly in his nightshirt and he made no attempt to move away, so Loki hoped he wasn’t about to ruin everything with his next move. He carefully adjusted his hold on Anthony again, bringing their faces up level. In the dim light of the room, he could see the tears that were beginning to run down Anthony’s face, the tremble in his bottom lip.

Loki let his hand come up and gently cup Anthony’s face, his thumb stroking gently over his sharp cheekbones, wiping away the tears. “Do not apologise when you have done nothing wrong, Anthony,” he whispered, not taking his eyes from the big brown pair staring at him. “All of this pain and grief you carry is on me. And I will spend the rest of our lives making it up to you.”

Anthony brought his own shaking hand up to rest gently on Loki’s cheek. “B-b-but I f-forgave you…” he said in an unsteady voice. Loki nodded and pressed his cheek into the trembling hand on his own cheek.

“You did my darling, and I thank the Gods you did every day. But that does not erase the wrongs I’ve already done. I have hurt you terribly, Anthony, with my callous behaviour. And that doesn’t just… disappear with forgiveness.”

Anthony stared at him and closed his eyes with a sigh. “I wish that our wedding night had been like this. That we had been able to talk a-and that you didn’t hate me. I felt something for you right away when you smiled at me. I didn’t r-realise at the time that you were not smiling with joy as I was.”

“I didn’t  _ hate you _ Anthony!”

Anthony shook his head, and refused to open his eyes. “I could see it,” he whispered. “I could see in your eyes that there was nothing there but immediate hate for me, for what I symbolised and what I was taking from you. And I saw it again when you were with that other man. You wished to hurt me that night… and you did.”

Anthony’s words felt like a knife to the chest. Was this what he’d done? Had he caused so much self-doubt and guilt in his husband, that he’d thought he was hated?

_ But, you did hate him a little, _ the nasty little voice in the back of his head whispered.  _ He has taken your life from you, tied you down. _

Loki felt when Anthony started to wiggle as though to move away, and realised he’d been quiet for too long. “No, no, stay.” Anthony went still again, but he held himself stiffly. “Anthony I – I can never apologise enough for that,” Loki felt his voice catch in his throat and he cleared it gently before continuing. “But I will continue to try. If you would let me, I would try everyday to show you that I am truly repentant. You came here expecting that at the very least I would treat you with respect, and I have not even done that for you.”

There was a small huff of warm air against his cheek, and Loki opened his eyes to see Anthony staring at him.

“You were horrible,” he said bluntly. “And I don’t know if I believe you. But if you’re willing to try, then so am I.”

Loki nodded, and let his eyes close again. He felt Anthony squirm a little before he pushed his freezing cold nose against Loki’s collarbone and huffed a quiet laugh at Loki’s involuntary little shiver. “Serves you right,” he laughed softly, and Loki smiled at him.

“I shall take my punishment without complaint then.”

They lay quietly together after that, and Loki tried to think of ways he could show Anthony that he was genuine, that he wanted to try and make things between them better. He knew he didn’t love the man, but he did care for him at least a little. And it was genuine affection, which was more than he’d ever thought he would feel for him, or for anyone else again for that matter.

“Loki?” Anthony’s whisper of his name had his eyes open in an instant, his thoughts banished as he tried to focus on Anthony’s face. The room was completely dark now, the faint light from the moon disappeared behind the heavy cover of snow and clouds. Loki tucked the blanket more firmly around Anthony as he answered.

“I’m awake, Anthony. What’s on your mind?” He could feel the way Anthony was chewing on his lip where he still had his face resting against Loki, and smiled a little to himself. “You don’t need to be nervous,” Loki whispered back. “It’s just us. You can say whatever you’d like in the dark and I will never bring it up again. The dark is meant for secrets and truths, Anthony.”

He buried his nose in Anthony’s curls as he waited content to breathe in and memorise his husband’s scent as he did. Anthony smelt of cedar and bergamot, and he honestly thought he’d never smelt anything as wonderful.

“Would you kiss me? Properly, I mean. Like a husband should kiss the one he lov- um…” Anthony trailed off and Loki felt him lick his already abused bottom lip. “Like a h-husband should kiss the one he  _ married _ ,” came the faint murmur from his collarbone.

Loki was positive his heart had stopped for a moment, and he took a moment before he answered. “You wish me to kiss you Anthony? Truly?” Anthony nodded his head just once, and Loki smiled into his hair before moving so he could tilt Anthony’s face up and out of his neck. “I would need you to be a little closer, husband,” he whispered, his voice low and a little rough sounding. 

Anthony really was a very attractive man, and the thought of kissing him had Loki’s pulse suddenly racing. He felt Anthony’s throat move as he swallowed and moved himself up a little so he was closer, their chests pressed more firmly together, and his legs threaded through Loki’s own.

“There you are,” Loki ran his thumb over Anthony’s lip and moved closer, stopping with just a breath of space between them, his thumb resting on Anthony’s bottom lip still. “Are you sure you want this? Do not feel as though you must offer me physical proof of your forgiveness, Anthony.” The brunette shook his head, and Loki had to fight down a frisson of  _ want _ as Anthony replied, the feeling of his lips and teeth against his thumb almost too much.

“I want to... I want you to-to kiss me properly,” he mumbled. “Want my real wedding kiss.”

Loki bit his own lip then so he wouldn’t laugh. Anthony would not have taken it well to know his husband was laughing at his asking for a kiss like a petulant child asking for treats. He rubbed his thumb tenderly across Anthony’s lip once more before moving his hand to thread through the hair at the back of his head.

“Then you shall have it,” was his barely spoken reply, before he tugged Anthony’s head closer and kissed him softly. Anthony’s lips were warm and he could feel his fingers flexing in his shirt. Loki carefully moved Anthony’s head a fraction to a better angle, and felt as their lips suddenly slid into place together. His husband gave a breathy little gasp and Loki pulled back right away, pressing a barely-there kiss to the tip of his still chilly nose as he did.

“Th-th-th-that – w-what - ” Loki smiled then and pulled his husband in close to press one last soft kiss to his lips before he tucked his head under his chin. “L-Loki…”

“That is how I should have kissed you,” Loki ran a hand over Anthony’s curly hair and smoothed it down before he put his chin back on top of his head. “And I apologise that your first kiss was lacklustre.” He could feel the heat of Anthony’s blush through his shirt, and was grateful to the dark for hiding his grin.

“Sleep now, Anthony. Perhaps tomorrow we shall try again.” Anthony nodded his head awkwardly and slowly moved his hands from where they were still clutching at the front of Loki’s shirt, to wrap around his waist.

“Is this okay?”

“More than, Anthony. You may hold me as you wish, darling. I am your husband as much as you are mine.”

Anthony shivered and pressed closer still, and Loki drew the blankets back around them. All their wriggling earlier had moved them from where he’d had them tucked in nicely. “I like that.” Anthony’s voice was muffled and Loki could feel the warmth of his breath against his neck. He had to force down a shiver of his own at the sensation.

“What is that?”

Anthony’s arms tightened around him, and Loki felt the softest kiss he’d ever been bestowed with pressed to his neck before he replied. “I like when you call me darling.”

_ Oh. _ “Shall I call you so more often then?”

“If you, um… that is, I would like it.”

Loki kissed the top of Anthony’s head and smiled into the dark room. “Goodnight then, darling.”

“Goodnight, Loki.”

Loki lay and listened to Anthony’s soft breathing, felt as his arms grew heavier over his waist, and the grip on the back of his shirt lessened as his husband fell asleep. He was almost asleep himself when he heard Anthony mumble –

_ “Love is many things none of them logical.” _

_ Is he quoting that book again? _ Loki breathed a small sigh and pushed it from his mind. He’d worry about it in the morning. Tomorrow he had plans to put into motion to court his husband.

**~*~**

Loki woke the next morning feeling warmer and better rested than he ever had. He had Tony cuddled into his side still, their legs entwined and his curly head pillowed on Loki’s firm chest. Loki laid quietly, his mind foggy and half-asleep, but his plans for the day already taking shape. His husband deserved better than he’d been treated so far, and while their talk and that sweet little kiss they’d shared last night had done more to mend the damage between them, he knew there was still a long way to go.

Anthony moved a little against him, and sighed. “Not ever moving,” he grumbled under his breath as he closed his eyes again and wiggled in closer still to Loki’s side, tightening his arms about Loki’s waist. “’s jus’ not happening. I am nev’r leaving this bed.” He dozed off again and Loki bit his lip to hold in a laugh. How on earth was it possible for someone of twenty-three to be as adorable as this?

He held Anthony’s sleeping body closer, enjoying the warmth of having him there a while. Loki wondered if maybe, in time, he would fall in love with this odd man he held. He looked to the window to judge the time, and sighed when he saw the sun had come up. Anthony was still asleep in his arms, so Loki moved slowly and shifted him onto the pillows instead. He kissed his cheek, and whispered that he was going to dress and would come to fetch him soon if he’d like to sleep longer.

“As you wish,” was the response he got, muffled by both pillows and a yawn. Loki watched Anthony for a moment, before he left the room to get dressed by the fire in the main room. He peeked back in to make sure Anthony was still fast asleep, before he hurried down the cold halls to the kitchen where he spoke with the cook and then into the warm-house.

Loki cut his flower and headed back into the kitchen to collect the breakfast tray he’d asked for.

“Everythin’s there, just like you asked, m’Prince,” the cook said, wiping her hands on her apron. “An’ I made Lord Anthony’s coffee just how he likes it. More sugar’n actual coffee.”

Loki gave her a small smile as he took the tray. “He has quite the sweet tooth.” The cook nodded her head and turned back to her work, hollering at the scullery maid as she did. Loki walked quickly back to their rooms, making sure to close the door quietly behind him. He set the tray down on the low table near the couch, and stoked the fire a little, trying to take the worst of the chill from the air.

With that done, he went back into the bedroom. Anthony was exactly where he’d left him, bundled up and still asleep beneath the blankets. Loki felt a warm feeling of…  _ something _ at the sight of it. Not wanting the breakfast to get cold, Loki leant over and gently shook Anthony’s shoulder.

“Anthony, wake up darling.” Loki waited until one sleepy eye cracked open and Anthony glared at him.

“’m not getting up. It’s too cold.” Loki laughed, and kissed Anthony’s cheek, smiling at the creases there from the blankets and pillows.

“Well, if you’d rather stay abed, then I suppose all the coffee and warm breakfast rolls by the fire will be for me,” he said as he straightened up and moved back from the bed. “Pity too. Cook put far too much sugar in one of the coffees.”

There was a sudden flurry of action behind him and Loki watched in amusement as Anthony attempted to fling himself out of bed and got completely tangled up in the blankets instead. He went crashing to the floor with a disgruntled huff and rolled around pitifully until his arms were free.

“That… did not go according to plan,” he mumbled, his cheeks bright red. “Um, could you help me off the floor, Loki?”

Loki bent down and helped to untangle him, laughing as he did. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move so fast, Anthony.”

“Yeah, but cook makes the  _ best _ coffee! She brews it longer than anyone else does and it’s so strong and wonderful. Plus she gives me extra sugar.” Anthony grinned at him and took off out the door, leaving Loki holding the pile of blankets with an amused expression on his face. He folded them onto the bed and went to join his husband.

Anthony was almost half buried in his coffee cup and had his eyes closed in bliss between sips. Loki sat beside him and wrapped his wedding cloak around Anthony’s shoulders. His husband shot him a grateful smile and went back to enjoying his coffee. Loki picked up his own and settled back into the settee cushions, glad that he’d thought to warm the room up before he got Anthony up. He glanced down at the tray and gave a start when he realised he’d forgotten to give Anthony the flower.

Loki picked it up, and quietly cleared his throat. He waited until Anthony had put his cup down and was looking at him before he held the flower out.

“I’m not sure if you remember this one,” he said, twirling the flower a little as he spoke, “but a daffodil means  _ a new beginning _ . And as we are trying this ourselves, I thought perhaps to show you that… that I am serious.”

Anthony’s face went through an extraordinary amount of emotions almost all at once before he seemed to settle on being pleased.

“Thank you, Loki,” his voice was quiet and shy, but Loki was pleased he didn’t stutter. “It’s beautiful.”

Loki leant forward and pressed a light kiss on Anthony’s lips. He tasted of sugar and coffee, still warm from their bed. “As are you, darling,” he whispered against his lips, pressing in gently once more before he moved away. Anthony’s eyes were wide and he raised a hand to press against his mouth. Loki looked away and felt something that felt a lot like rejection wash over him. Perhaps Anthony had only meant for him to kiss him last night after all.

“I apologise if that was too forward of – mmph!” His apology was cut off when Anthony suddenly threw himself forward and crushed their mouths together. Loki was caught off guard, but he quickly brought his hands up to cup Anthony’s face and gently nudge his head a little so they were kissing and not just awkwardly pressing their lips together. His husband was eager, and a quick learner, but he was so very innocent.

Anthony gave a pleased little hum and moved himself closer still, grabbing onto Loki’s shirt and pulling himself almost into his lap, never once stopping their kiss. Loki ran a hand down Anthony’s neck to hold him and felt his husband shiver and tighten his own grip on Loki’s shirtfront.

_ Oh my…  _ Loki moved his mouth against Anthony’s a little and had to force himself to pull back before he got carried away. He rested his forehead against the brunette’s and they sat like that for a few moments, Anthony almost sitting in Loki’s lap as they tried to catch their breath. Loki drew a deep shaky breath and leant back a little to look at the brunette’s face. Anthony was flushed, his eyes closed and his hair a total disaster.  _ He is beautiful _ . And wasn’t that a scary thought? His emotions were going to get the better of him sooner than later at this rate if he wasn’t careful.

His romance with Princess Sigyn had left him ruined for love, or so he thought. He’d been so bitter, so angry for such a long time. And he’d come very close to destroying his family with his antics more than once since then. He’d taken lover after lover, looking for any way to distract himself, to stop the pain in his heart for just  _ one _ moment. Instead, it had more often felt as though he were digging it deeper into himself. Every woman in his bed had her face or her voice, and every man was a reflection of her opposite. He’d been lost and now… looking at Anthony’s face as he simply sat and enjoyed the closeness of his husband, he felt as though he had an anchor. He’d found a safe haven.

Anthony’s eyes slowly opened and he gave Loki a shy smile, those whisky eyes shining and bright with… something. Loki wouldn’t dare to put a word to what that emotion was that he could see lighting his husband up from inside, but he knew he’d seen it before. He returned Anthony’s smile, and gently stroked his thumbs along his cheekbones before he kissed him once more, a soft touch of lips that was there and gone in a blink. Anthony made a happy little noise and moved himself completely into Loki’s lap, curling up and resting his head against his shoulder.

Loki chuckled and smoothed his hair down so it wasn’t tickling his nose. “Are you comfortable, kitten?”

Anthony  _ hmmphed _ . “I am  _ not _ a kitten, Loki.”

“Oh? Then, pray tell, what else do you know of that curls up in one’s lap like this?”

Anthony rubbed his cheek against Loki’s shoulder as he thought it over, and Loki couldn’t keep his laughter in. “Oh, darling. You are a kitten.”

“No… I’m more like… like a lion. A big cat.” Anthony nodded. “Yeah, a lion.”

“And lions stand for bravery, do they not?” Anthony turned his head a little so he was looking at Loki’s face. Loki ran his fingers through the riotous curls that were sticking up everywhere and smiled. “You’re very brave, Anthony. You came alone to a far land to marry a man you didn’t know; you’ve endured cruelty at the hands of the one you married and still found the courage to not only stay but to even extend olive branch after olive branch to try and make your marriage work. You are a lion indeed, darling.”

Anthony’s eyes were bright and he blinked rapidly a few times before he pushed his face into Loki’s neck. Loki ignored the damp feeling where his face rested, and simply stroked his husband’s back gently, making quiet and reassuring noises. He made a decision then as he held the smaller man in his arms, and soothed his tears. He would let Sigyn go. He’d held on to the idea of her, the idea of her love for years. And now it was holding him back. He knew it would take time, that he was going to need to let himself heal, to let Anthony heal from the hurt he’d done already.

Loki cuddled Anthony closer, and reached carefully to pull his wedding cloak up over them both from where it had fallen. It hadn’t felt right to leave it in the bedroom, and he was glad now he’d brought it out. Anthony wiggled in his lap, and Loki carefully held him up so he could swing his legs up onto the settee, laying Anthony along his body as he did.

“We seem to have a rather lot of emotional conversations that end with us lazing about together like this, Loki,” Anthony’s muffled and mumbled voice broke through Loki’s thoughts. “I don’t  _ not _ like it though. I-I-I… it’s nice to know what’s in your head.”

“We do indeed,” Loki agreed, running his fingers through his hair again, the breakfast tray forgotten beside them. “But I feel as though we need it. We have not had a traditional courtship nor a traditional marriage thus far. It is, as you say, nice to know what’s going on in your mind while I sort through my own. Who knows,” he teased gently. “Perhaps one day we might just laze about without the emotional conversation beforehand.”

There were a few heartbeats of silence at that, and Loki wondered if maybe Anthony had dozed off. He seemed very much like Thor in that regard – the pair of them were capable of dozing off just about anywhere, and at any time.  _ Just like a kitten. _

“I think I’d like that,” Anthony fidgeted with Loki’s shirt collar. “I… I’d like to just spend a day lazing about with you, one day. Perhaps…” he paused, and Loki knew he was chewing his lip. “Perhaps one day, you might read to me? I’ve heard you reading to the children of the servants.” That surprised Loki. He’d been expecting… well, he wasn’t sure but to have Anthony ask him to  _ read  _ to him hadn’t been one of them.

“Of course,” he murmured. “I’d be delighted to. If you’d like, I could read to you from your favourite book?”

Anthony blushed so hard at that, Loki could feel the heat through his shirt. 

“N-not… not yet,” he whispered. “Not yet. That book… my mama said when I read it with my  _ someone _ … it’s gotta be someone who loves me…” Anthony squirmed, and Loki knew he must feeling frightfully awkward now. “I know that must seem childish to you, Loki. But I’ve waited my whole life to meet my someone.”

“I understand, Anthony. Don’t fret.” And Loki did understand. He’d been in love before, and knew the feeling of wanting to share in all your special traditions and moments with them. Of sharing firsts with them and knowing they’d be all the more special for it because of that love. So he simply reassured his anxious husband again, and they lay quietly for a while, listening to the rain that had started as it hit the window.

Eventually though, Loki had to move. “Shall we dress and perhaps join Mother for morning tea, darling?” Anthony nodded, and Loki kissed his head as they stood. “Anthony…” Loki grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Darling, I do hope that one day… One day we might lay and read your book together.”

And Anthony just gave him that same bright-eyed look and soft smile he gave him every time as he said, “As you wish.”

**~*~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dark Weeks arrive in Aysgarth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of a warning for this chapter, as it depicts someone who is quite sick. It's not overly graphic or anything, but better to be safe than sorry :)

 

**~*~**

 

The winter months were long and dark in the North when they started in earnest. Tony was surprised to wake a few days after he and Loki had spent the morning on their couch in total darkness when he knew it should have been light out. He’d woken Loki with his panic, and Loki had lit the candles beside the bed and explained that for most of their winter months, Aysgarth was in total darkness.

“It is why we have the Warm-House for our food and flowers, and why most of our staff reside within the Castle proper,” Loki explained as he held Tony’s hand tightly and led him through the dark halls to breakfast. “Do not be afraid, darling. It doesn’t last forever. Perhaps six weeks at the most?”

Tony gaped at him. “ _ Six weeks _ ?” Loki chuckled and steered them over to a window. Tony looked out at the dark grounds, almost completely covered in snow and ice.

“Winters are harsh here in the North, Anthony. But there are plenty of ways to fill the time while it’s dark. My brother and the Lady Natasha tend to use the time to work on their physical battle skills, my mother fusses and reorganises the library and father hides in his study while she does so. I like to read or study in my rooms.”

Tony swallowed and looked down at his feet then. “I’m sorry that this winter you’re not able to do that, Loki.” His stomach felt full of butterflies. “It must be frustrating for you to have your usual tradition and routine thrown aside.”

“Not at all, Anthony,” Loki’s voice was warm and Tony looked up when he felt Loki’s hand settle on the small of his back, gently moving them along the hall again. “I think it sounds quite enjoyable to find a new way to spend the dark weeks. Perhaps we can find a book to read together? Or I have some new texts from the Amethyst Isles if that interests you? The new crystals they have uncovered there have some truly fascinating properties.”

Tony looked up at Loki’s face, and saw the smile he was wearing.  _ Gorgeous _ . “I’d like that,” he said shyly, dipping his head and slowly reach to wind his own arm about Loki’s waist. He was pleased when Loki simply tugged him closer and let their shoulders and hips rest together while they walked. Loki escorted him all the way to his seat at the breakfast table and took the seat beside him. Tony blushed again when Loki poured his coffee and added the exact amount of sugar, pushing it to him with another smile.

Thor, the  _ jerk _ , was grinning at them from across the table, his chin propped on one giant fist. “Tis wonderful to see you wooing your husband so, Loki! Our little kitten requires much in the way of sweets does he not?”

Loki hummed in agreement, taking a slow sip of his own coffee before he answered. “I think Anthony is rather more like a lion than a kitten.”

Thor spat his mouthful of bread across his plate and Natasha thumped him between the shoulder blades, laughing loudly as she did.

“Oh do drag your mind out from the gutters, brother,” Loki teased. “I mean only that while he is indeed as cuddly as a kitten, his bravery and courage reminds me more of a lion.” Natasha gave him a pleased look, and Tony grinned at her.

“We have had many long discussions recently about me  _ not _ being a kitten,” Tony said, bringing his cup to his mouth as he did. “And although I will confess to  _ maybe _ sharing some similarities, a grown man cannot be a kitten!”

“But you are so small and adorable, brother!” Thor laughed. “We can simply pick you up and take you about with us as we would a kitten! And you snuggle most viciously in your sleep.”

Tony glared at him, and turned his head to Queen Frigga, hoping that her silence meant she was on his side of this absolutely ridiculous argument. She was, however, hiding her face in her hands while her shoulders shook with silent laughter.

“Your Majesty,” Tony practically wailed. “I thought you would take my side!” Frigga moved her hands and tossed her head back in laughter that proved contagious.

“Oh my dearest children,” she said eventually as they all calmed down and wiped their eyes. “It has been far, far too long since such nonsense and laughter has been heard in this room.”

Tony wondered if this was what it had been like for Thor and Loki to grow up here as he watched the brothers bickering back and forth while Natasha and Frigga sipped their tea and chatted quietly. He could see them quite easily as children, throwing insults and food at each other while Frigga watched. Odin didn’t join them often, he was frequently meeting with other members of his council or delegations from other lands, but Tony had heard enough to know that regardless of his mistake with Loki and Sigyn, he’d been a good father to them.

He drank his coffee and watched as they all eventually settled down and conversation turned to plans for what they called the  _ dark weeks _ . Tony could admit to himself he was a little worried about being inside in the dark for so long, but he was confident in his abilities to stay entertained. He’d spent almost his entire life locked in the Iron Reach Manor, but this felt… different.

“There are lots of lovely places to sit and read here,” he said quietly, waiting for a lull in the flow of conversation. “Miss Kanil was nice enough to allow me to sit beside her while she baked the cakes we had a few days ago too. Perhaps we could spend some time with her, Loki?” He turned a curious look to Loki, and felt a little embarrassed when he saw the odd expression on his face. “Loki?”

Loki shook his head a little. “Who is Miss Kanil, darling?”

Tony knew his face must be making an awfully judgemental expression, but he couldn’t help it. “She’s the cook? Miss Kanil said she’s been here for longer than I’ve been alive. She’s been very kind to me when – uh, well,” he let himself trail off uncomfortably. He’d been about to say ‘ _ when you were not _ ’ but didn’t want to ruin a good morning between he and Loki.

“Forgive me,” was the quiet reply, and Tony looked back over at his husband. Queen Frigga was still too, watching Loki closely while Thor and Natasha spoke quietly between themselves. “I forget that you were raised differently. It has never even entered my mind before to learn the names of the staff beyond those who accompany me.” Loki looked so ashamed of himself that Tony couldn’t help but reach out and take his hand.

“Don’t fret, Loki,” he said gently, “I was raised very differently. The staff at the Manor were the ones who raised me when my mama passed away. So, when I arrived here and had… um, time alone to fill, I spent it by ensuring I learnt the names of the staff here. They are all quite lovely.” Tony squeezed Loki’s hand and smiled at him. “I will introduce you.”

“I would like that very much.”

Queen Frigga cleared her throat softly and stood back from the table. “If you will excuse me, I must go and assist your father. He thinks he has hidden himself from his paperwork.” She winked at Tony as she walked past. “I beg to differ.”

Tony laughed quietly into his cup as he finished his coffee. Thor and Natasha excused themselves next, and Loki seemed content to wait while Tony finished up. Tony set his cup down though, and realised that he was still holding Loki’s hand. He brought it up closer to his face and examined it carefully. Loki’s skin was so pale, but he didn’t look sickly. It suited him though. Tony couldn’t imagine Loki with tanned skin. His fingers were long and graceful, and his palms had callouses from years of training with swords and riding horses.  

A soft noise startled him, and Tony looked up into Loki’s amused eyes. “Are my hands truly so fascinating, Anthony?” Tony flushed. “It’s no hardship for me to have you admire them,” he teased gently.

Tony looked back down but didn’t let go of his husband’s hand. “I was just thinking how very different our lives have been,” he mumbled. “I grew up raised by the household staff, and you do not know the names of yours. J-Jarvis, he was more like a father than my father was when I was a child.” Loki looked at him curiously, and Tony answered the unasked question there. “Jarvis was father’s personal attendant for many years.”

“Was, Anthony?”

Tony nodded. “Mmhmm. Father gave him to me when I turned thirteen. He said I needed someone to, um, teach me how to be a man. Apparently I was quite the letdown when I showed no interest in the parade of girls that he forced upon me before that summer.”

“Well, I can’t say that I’m disappointed about that,” Loki said, twisting his hand so their fingers were laced. “Else you wouldn’t be sitting here beside me.”

It was in moments like this when Tony felt he could almost believe Loki cared about him. He didn’t love him, he knew that. But he did seem to be genuinely interested in him. Tony just wished it was real affection as well. Sharing a bed together each night, spending his days with Loki’s arms around him or being kissed and touched like he was special to him. It was… tiring, reminding himself that for Loki it was just a way to make their life together easier. Tony knew that his affection for Loki was one-sided. He  _ knew _ . And it hurt.

He watched Loki constantly and had done since he’d arrived. He knew most of Loki’s tics and quirks, knew his favourite food - pear and cinnamon bread with butter -  and the way he liked his tea prepared - black with one spoon of honey. And he knew that Loki would never love him. He’d been a fool to fall as fast and as hard as he had; he’d known Loki’s reputation. But it didn’t matter anymore… There was nothing Loki could do that Tony wouldn’t forgive now.

He was in far too deeply.

So he just smiled and let Loki pull him up from the table, following along as he was led down the halls. He didn’t recognise where Loki was taking them but he took it all in best he could. The Iron Reach Manor was a lovely home, but it was grey stone and cold. The Castle proper was breathtaking in places. White stone walls were covered with rich tapestries, and polished wooden floors all throughout. Tony marvelled at the delicate gold sconces that held the torches and candles, and craned his neck back to look at the paintings along the ceilings of the halls by the warrior’s wing. Odin had explained they only ever opened that wing in times of war.

“May I ask where we’re going, Loki?” he asked as they went through yet another set of doors, coming out into a smaller corridor this time. Tony was grateful that he had his cloak on as the wind seemed to cut right through every tiny gap in the stones.

“I thought I might show you my favourite place to sit,” was the quiet reply. Tony stumbled a little in shock. Loki did show him things and open up more often these days, it was true, but it was still a surprise to him when he did it. So he followed where Loki led, and tried not to panic when he realised how high up they were going.

Loki pushed open one last door, a small wooden one at the top of the narrow staircase they’d been climbing up, and reached a hand out to Tony.

“Trust me, Anthony,” he smiled. “It’s worth the small climb.”

Tony took his hand and let Loki help him up the last few stairs, pulling his cloak close about him as he did, and followed Loki out the door. He felt his breath leave him in a gasp as he stepped out and looked around.

The snow had stopped, and although the sky was still dark, there was just barely enough light coming from the castle windows to light the grounds immediately around it. It was beautiful. The snow was pure white and covered everything, but Tony could make out the shapes of the stables and barracks.

“Oh my,” he breathed. Loki squeezed his hand and pulled him closer to him. “Loki, this is…”

Loki nodded and kissed his cheek. “I found this small spot when I was six,” he said quietly. “I had pulled a terrible prank on Thor and needed a place to hide. It was summer when I found it, and I spent hours sitting here with my legs over the side of the castle. If you look to the East when it is clear, you can see the ocean. It is… peaceful.”

Tony smiled at that. “I would very much like to see the view from here in the warmer months.”

“I will bring you.”

Tony leant closer to Loki and rested his head on his shoulder as they stood quietly, just enjoying the quiet and each other’s company a while. When the wind began to pick up though, and the snow started to fall, Loki guided Tony back inside the castle and nudged him in the direction of their rooms.

“You need a warm bath and clothes, Anthony, before you catch a cold.”

“I am not going to catch a cold,” Anthony sniffled and waited until Loki wasn’t looking to wipe his nose on his sleeve. He didn’t argue as they entered their rooms though, and happily climbed into the waiting steaming tub to soak the chill of the wind out of his bones before he dressed in his warmest clothes. Loki was waiting for him on the settee with his wedding cloak in hand and a tray with their lunch on the table beside him. He dozed off at some point after lunch, warm and content in Loki’s lap as his husband read quietly from a book about the healing properties of the rose quartz.

**~*~**

Loki held Anthony carefully as he sat in the big rocking chair by their bedroom window. There was sweat dripping from his husband’s hair and brow as he shook. He felt so guilty about Anthony being sick. It had been him to take them out into the freezing air and stay out there as long as they did. He’d not realised that the winters in Iron Reach were so much milder than they were here.

Anthony had fallen asleep in his lap, and woken much later that night burning with fever. That had been almost two days ago, and his husband showed no signs of improving. The healers had just left again, and Thor was helping Natasha to strip the bed and change the sheets again. Even the maids, and the cook –  _ Miss Kanil  _ – had stopped in to help if they could.

Loki had studied the art of crystal healing, but it failed him now in this. There was naught to be done for the winter sickness. Anthony would have to fight it off alone. Loki wiped the damp cloth over his face again, and held him closer, the wedding cloak loose over their legs. Anthony made a choking noise and Loki quickly turned his head as Anthony retched and coughed. The little bit of honeyed water they’d managed to get him to drink was all that came up, and Thor was there in an instant with a fresh cloth to wipe his face again, leaving a gentle kiss to his fevered cheek when he was done.

“He will be fine, Loki,” Thor said quietly, running his hand through Anthony’s sweaty hair. “We have all had the winter sickness and we are all still here.”

“But he’s not a Northener!” Loki’s voice cracked a little and he hung his head, his hair swinging forward to hide his face. Thor tucked it back behind his ears as he answered.

“Aye, but he’s a fierce little lion. He is strong, Loki. He will be fine.”

Anthony groaned and opened his eyes, glassy and hazy with his fever. “J-Jar’is…” he slurred, turning his head to face Thor. “Wanna... where’s it… Thor? ‘s’tha’ you? C’n I –  _ you _ love me Thooor...” He grinned madly up at Thor and reached a shaking hand up. Thor grabbed it and squeezed it gently.

“Verily, brother,” he said quietly. “I do love you very much. You wormed your way into my heart almost that very first day, Tony.”

Anthony’s head flopped back then to land hard against Loki’s chest, and he readjusted his grip on him so he wouldn’t fall. Thor still had hold of Anthony’s hand and he moved with them so he wouldn’t have to let go, calling for one of the maids to assist Natasha.

“Thor…” Anthony’s voice was so hoarse and small, but he still forced the words out, more coherent and steady than a moment ago, and it made Loki feel suddenly afraid. “I love you. Y-you’re a good… you’re good. So good…” he coughed again, a horrible hacking noise that had both Loki and Thor cringing. “’s good…” he mumbled, and closed his eyes again. “Wish Lo’ lov’d me… ‘m not a g’d hu’band for him… L-Love m’ Loki…” Anthony’s voice trailed off again as he slipped back into unconsciousness, going limp in Loki’s arms. Thor sighed and settled Anthony’s hand on his chest before he stood to help Loki out of the chair and back over to the bed.

“Come brother,” his voice was low and Loki was grateful. He felt at that moment as though one loudly spoken word might blow him apart like ashes. He let Thor lead him over to the bed, but he refused to put Anthony down.

“I will hold him a while longer, brother,” he murmured. Thor gave him a long, searching look before he nodded.

“Very well, but I will be staying too. I cannot rest while he is so ill.” Loki barely heard him, nodding once in his direction. He could faintly hear Natasha and the maids gathering the dirty linens up and making their way out of the room. But his thoughts were completely focused on the unconscious body in his arms.

Anthony… had he meant what he said? Or had it just been the feverish ramblings of a sick man?

He tightened his hold a little on him, and rested his head against the headboard of their bed, Anthony sprawled over his legs and chest, a line of burning heat against him.

“ _ Jarvis… please… _ ” Thor drew the cloak over Anthony’s legs and brushed back the hair that was clinging to his head. “Jar-vis… I wanna go ho-home,” Anthony moaned. “’s not… I wanna…” he tossed his head about then, and Loki gestured to Thor to bring him another damp cloth. He took it with a whispered thanks and carefully wiped his husband’s sweaty face. “Thor?” Anthony’s eyes were open again, but he wasn’t seeing. “Thor are you… c’n you…”

“I am here, kitten,” Thor said softly. “Be at ease.”  

Anthony groaned and pushed his face into Loki’s chest. “Hurts,” he whispered. “Gods. ‘m not… I want – where ‘m I?” Loki cast a worried look at Thor, who was rubbing gentle patterns onto Anthony’s back, trying to ease the pain from his muscles. “I want… Thor?” he flailed his hand about and Thor grabbed it, setting it gently back on Loki’s chest.

“Easy, Tony,” he said. “Rest brother.”

Anthony whimpered as another seizure wracked his body with spasms and pain then, and Loki loosened his arms about him so he didn’t cause more pain. Thor moved back in close as soon as the spasms eased, and began rubbing and soothing Anthony’s muscles again.

“Thor,” Loki whispered as Anthony struggled to draw a breath and moaned again. “Is he - ”

Thor glared at him and shook his head. “He will  _ not _ . Do not even think the word, Loki,” he growled. “Do not!”

Loki bit his lip and sighed. “I’m sorry. I just… I feel useless. This is all my fault.” He looked at Thor then and begged his brother to see that he was no good for Anthony, that it was his fault he was so sick. That he might –

“Loki.” He blinked and looked up from where his eyes had fallen to stare at the small hand gripping his shirt. “He will not lose this fight. Have faith in him.”

Loki looked down at his husband’s pale face, his flushed cheeks and trembling body. “I’m scared, Thor.”

Anthony groaned and moved his head restlessly against Loki’s chest. “Lo… my Loki…”

Loki stroked his cheek, “I am here, darling.”

But Anthony shook his head again and called out for Jarvis, for Thor, for Tasha… “Someone,” he gasped in a moment of almost lucidity. “Gods  _ please _ . I just… I wan’…”

The healers came back in that evening to try and get another valerian root infusion down Anthony’s throat, but he brought it back up almost right away. They didn’t seem to be terribly worried, but Loki still caught the glances they gave Anthony as they left the room, and he knew that if his husband didn’t improve in the next day they would send the Elder in to give Anthony the Last Rites.

“I am going to fetch us our dinner,” Thor said quietly when they were gone. “I know you don’t want to eat, but you must keep your strength up as well. We are of no use to our Tony if we fall ill beside him.”

Loki just nodded and adjusted his hold on Anthony, who was mumbling in his sleep again. He was still asking for mercy, but Loki caught his own name a few times. He stroked a careful hand along Anthony’s neck, and into his hair. He was trying to work his fingers through the tangles and work through his thoughts when he heard Anthony’s quiet voice again.

“Mama?”  _ Oh, Gods. _ “Mama? ‘s th’t you?” The words were terribly garbled and barely coherent; Anthony sounded absolutely exhausted. Loki felt a sick feeling suddenly in his stomach. “Mama… ‘m  _ tired _ ... So… tired now.” He coughed weakly into Loki’s chest and made a tiny noise of pain when the movement obviously hurt his head. “I wanna… wanna sleep…” Every muscle in Loki’s body went tense at that as Anthony’s words slurred into a completely incomprehensible babble before he went silent, the only noise the harsh gasps he made as he tried to catch his breath.

They were out of time.

Loki carefully and gently moved Anthony from his body to rest on the bed, barely sparing a thought to ensure he was comfortable before tearing from the room.

“THOR!” he yelled, flinging open the doors to their rooms. “THOR!” A quick look down the hall and he saw his brother and mother running towards the rooms, Natasha and the healers on their heels. “Thor,” he gasped, clutching at his brother’s arm as he entered the room. “Thor he is talking to his mother and asking to go to sleep!”

Frigga made a pained sound at that and pushed past to enter the bedroom, Natasha right by her side. Thor was instructing the healers and sending a maid to fetch the Elder.

“No, no,  _ no. _ ” Loki felt his vision white out at the edges. “Thor! You said… he is… he  _ can’t _ die!”

Thor gripped his shoulders tightly and shook him roughly. “He will not die, Loki! But the Last Rites  _ must _ be given! If… if our Tony leaves us… he must have the Rites or the gates of Valhalla will be closed to him!” Loki nodded weakly.

“Of course. Right.” He let go of Thor’s arm and staggered his way to the couch. He felt rather as though he’d drunk an entire vat of wine on his own, his head swimming and his stomach churning. He heard Thor welcome the Elder a short while later, but could not move. He felt dazed, as though he were trapped in a waking nightmare.

“Loki my love,” his mother’s voice was so soft, and he lifted his head to meet her worried gaze. “Oh, my sweet boy,” she whispered. “Come now. You must be present.” She held a shaking hand out and Loki took it, allowing her to slowly pull him to his feet and lead him into the bedroom.

The Elder was standing by the bedside, his book of Rites in his hand, and a sprig of dried sage in his hand. Anthony was pale and gasping on the bed, his head resting in Natasha’s lap and Thor by her side, one hand on her shoulder. Frigga moved him to sit by Anthony’s other side before taking her own seat at his feet.

A circle of hope. 

The Elder lit his sage and gently brushed the fragrant ashes over Anthony’s head as he read from the book of Rites.

“...And be at peace, in the great halls of Valhalla, where the mighty and the brave do rest.”

**~*~**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rest and Recovery and Snuggles

**~*~**

 

_ “…- broken, finally.” _

_ “No lasting damage.” _

_ “… so thin, we have to - …” _

Tony groaned and turned his head away from the noise. It  _ hurt _ .

“Tony?” Thor’s voice was so nice. Such a nice voice. Not as nice as Loki’s but it was still nice. “I thank you for the compliments, kitten. Are you awake then?”

Oh. Had he said that aloud? “I am… not.” There.

There was the sound of quiet laughter, and he gave up trying to be asleep. Carefully and very slowly he cracked an eye open. “I … not… awake.” Gods but his throat felt raw, like he’d been screaming. It was so hard to get the words out.

“You were screaming,” came a new voice. Tony didn’t recognise this one right away, it was so tired and gravelly sounding. “I apologise, darling. I didn’t realise you wouldn’t recognise my voice.” Oh. It was Loki.

“Lo-ki,” he managed to push out. He turned his head and groaned again at the pain it send shooting through his body. “Lo… what… hap’ned?”

He tried to focus his blurry eyes on Loki’s face but all he could make out was his husband’s pale skin and the dark hair that fell around it, and he seemed very far away. “You have been ill.” Loki’s voice was making Tony feel sad. “I’m sorry if my voice worries you. It has been a few days since I’ve slept and I think it’s starting to show.”

“Sorry… f’r out loud,” he whispered. His brain still felt so weird. “My head… feels fluffy.”

“That would be the willowbark and valerian leaving your system. You… we nearly…” Loki’s voice trailed off and Tony frowned. He tried to raise a hand but his arm didn’t lift properly. “Rest.” Loki’s voice was closer this time, and Tony felt a firm cool hand wrap around his. “You need to rest.”

“I… what?” Thor’s voice again this time, but Tony didn’t try to move his head. He just wanted to stare at Loki’s fuzzy outline.

“You were struck down with a frightful illness, Tony,” he spoke quietly, and it was perfect. “You very nearly left us a few days ago. And then, your fever broke that same night. It was declared an act of mercy from the Gods by the Elder. The healers called it good medicine.” Thor chuckled, but it was a tired, hollow sound compared to his usual laugh. “We are just grateful you are still with us, kitten.”

“H-how lon’?”

“You were ill for a week, darling.” Tony tried to get his eyes to focus properly. “You should be resting.”

“’m layin’… down. I wan’ y-you.” The hand around his squeezed for a moment, and Tony could hear Thor’s voice whispering something to Loki. Then he was being moved carefully, although he couldn’t help the noise he made when his head was lifted.

“Easy love,” Thor soothed him. “We’re simply laying you with Loki.” His head was placed down carefully then on what he knew right away was Loki’s chest, his ear right above his heart. And hearing that steady, rhythmic thumping was enough to make him relax from tip to toe as Thor tucked blankets around them and fussed with pillows.

More whispering then and Tony smiled when he felt Loki’s chest rumble beneath his head. “’s nice,” he patted weakly at Loki’s chest. “’s a g’d… good pillow.”

Thor’s quiet laugh sounded more genuine that time. “Aye, he has been your favourite place to sleep this last week.”

Loki made a humming noise in his chest and Tony gently rubbed his head into it. “There he is,” Loki whispered. “My little kitten-husband.”

“Not a kitten.” Tony sighed, and had to admit that Loki’s soft linen shirt felt wonderful under his cheek. “’m restin’…” He closed his eyes and let himself drift a bit, not wanting to go back to sleep, but too tired to keep them open. He could hear Thor and Loki talking quietly, could hear the sound of Loki’s voice in the ear he had pressed to his chest.

Tony must have dozed off at some point, because the next time he heard voices again, it was lighter in the room and he could hear Tasha and Frigga. He opened his eyes slowly, and was pleased to find he was still lying on Loki. He didn’t try to move his head, but was glad he could focus his eyes this time and the weird fluffy feeling in his head was gone.

Frigga was smiling at him, and he gave her a tired smile back. “Hello little love,” she said gently. “It is so wonderful to see you on the mend.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Tony found his voice was coming much easier this time, though he was desperately thirsty. He cleared his throat a little and tried to push himself upright. “Can I have some water?”

Loki’s arms moved from being wrapped tightly about his waist then, to helping him sit up. His head spun and he felt queasy, but Loki moved him slowly. He took the time to move himself to sit against the headboard before propping Tony between his legs with his back against Loki’s chest.

“I’ve got you, darling,” Loki whispered. “I won’t move until you tell me.”

Tony wished he could see Loki’s face. He couldn’t remember much of anything from the past week, just flashes here and there, like remembering a dream. But he could remember that he was never alone, and he remembered Loki’s voice.

“Antosha?” He moved his head a tiny bit to the left and met Tasha’s worried green eyes. “Oh, it is so very wonderful to see your eyes so clear,” her voice sounded tired, and like she’d been crying.

“I’m okay now, Tasha,” he said slowly, not wanting to force his words out. “’m sorry.”

He felt awful, and not just because he was recovering. But he’d obviously worried everyone, and taken an entire week of their time away from them. He sighed, and wanted to close his eyes again. “I am sorry,” he repeated, and Loki carefully moved him a little with one hand, a glass of water in his other. Tony took small, grateful sips and could taste the honey in it. It soothed his still sore throat and helped to clear his head.

“Please, do not ever apologise for getting sick, my sweet boy,” Frigga’s hand was soft and warm as she reached out to rest it gently on his cheek. “Everyone here has had the winter sickness. And now that you have, you’ll never have it so badly again.”

_ Winter sickness. _ Tony wondered if maybe he’d caught it that day they were out on the rooftop. He’d been feeling tired and rundown already beforehand, but hadn’t wanted to say anything to upset this new peace between he and Loki. And caring for a sick spouse was a sure-fire way to ruin it. No one wanted to be around someone who was vomiting and wheezing. Howard had never tended to his illnesses even once. It had always been Jarvis, or his wife Ana. And when he was a little older, Sir James and Sir Steven had even cared for him on occasion.

He missed them all tremendously in that moment. Wanted nothing more than to have Sir James clap him on the shoulder and declare him a ‘little shit’ while Sir Steven made that weird noise he made when he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh. Wanted to see Jarvis, and drink Ana’s absolutely Gods awful tea.

But he was here, and it was… not so bad. This new little family he had cared for him, his husband was being kind, and he could ask for no more than that. Tony couldn’t help the selfish little part of him that wished it was more than guilt that had Loki acting as he was now, and as he had been over these last few days, but he knew he couldn’t ever bring that up. At first it had been the guilt of his family pressuring him, and now surely it was some misconstrued guilt over Tony’s illness that had him rubbing Tony’s back and holding him up to sip at more of the honeyed water.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, and Frigga beamed at him. Tasha leant over the bed and kissed his cheek and lips softly.

“Don’t you ever worry me like that again, Antosha,” she scolded him softly. “My poor heart nearly stopped. I love you, my little love.”

Tony felt as his whole face flushed and he blinked eyes suddenly burning with tears.  “I-I… you too, Tasha,” he whispered finally. “I love you too, sister.” A single tear made its way down Tasha’s cheek and he lifted a trembling hand to wipe it away. “ _ My heart sister,” _ he murmured to her in her native tongue, and she let out a startled gasp.

“Oh Tony,” more tears then, but she was smiling, so Tony didn’t feel bad for it.

“I was… learning it to surprise you,” he confessed to her, smiling sheepishly. “I didn’t expect that I would almost not get to say it.” He was pleased that the more he spoke, the easier his words came, the feeling of the honey in his throat helping. “Um, surprise?”

She laughed then, and Tony grinned in response. He was still so tired, but he felt infinitely better at hearing her laughter. Frigga was also smiling at him, indulgent and pleased. He twisted his head a little to see Loki, and was disappointed to find that his husband had his eyes closed, a pained look on his face. Tony wondered if he’d had that same expression the whole time he’d been ill.

It made his stomach hurt. Had he been so awful to care for? Gods, but what if this undid all their progress? What if this was the thing that drove Loki away?

A light touch to his nose had him opening his eyes and staring. He hadn’t even realised he’d closed them.

“You’re thinking so loudly they can hear you in the next room,” Loki teased him with a smile. Tony glanced around then and noticed that they were alone, and yet Loki was still holding him. “Are you alright? Do you want to go back to sleep now?”

Tony carefully shook his head. “Can I just… stay here with you?”

“Of course. I told you, I won’t be leaving until you tell me to, darling.”

Tony bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut before he asked, “And what if I never do?”

Soft fingers in his hair were moving through the tangled curls and Tony couldn’t help pushing up against them to keep them there. There was silence for a few minutes, and Tony thought he’d maybe gone too far.

“If you never asked…” Tony started a little when Loki suddenly spoke, but he turned his head regardless to try and see Loki’s face. But his husband had his face pressed into Tony’s dirty hair, his own long, black waves hanging like a curtain and blocking him from view.  “Anthony, if you never asked then I would simply stay. I will stay in anyway that you will have me. It matters not to me if we never consummate our marriage, or if you never wish to do more than be on my arm when required. I would be happy simply being your friend. But Anthony, I cannot…” Loki took a deep breath and Tony squeezed his hand gently, wondering when he’d taken it in his own. “I cannot allow you to go completely from my life now,” he finished on a soft exhale. “I thought you gone twice this past week, and it has shown me I am not prepared to face a world without you in it.”

Tony blinked. He must have fallen asleep and dreamt that.

“Loki, you - ” But Loki was shaking his head where it rested against Tony’s own.

“I know that you would think this is all guilt from your illness and my past behaviours,” he whispered. “But Anthony, truly it is not. I cannot tell you yet what my feelings are, for I do not know them myself. But I do know that I could not continue my life here without you in it in some way.”

Tony tried to wiggle around to face Loki properly, but his body wouldn’t cooperate and he was still so tired. So he settled for squeezing Loki’s hand again – and still wondering when he’d taken hold of it – as he answered his husband.

“As you wish,” he barely recognised his own voice then. It was low and husky and he felt warm and weightless. Loki was mumbling something into his hair, but Tony felt himself drifting off. The bed was warm, and Loki really was a wonderful pillow. He nuzzled his face into the collar of his shirt, giving a pleased hum when he found bare skin. Tony breathed deeply and felt his entire being relax as he breathed in sandalwood and vanilla. He pressed his nose further into Loki’s bare neck and kissed it gently.

A shiver ran through Loki then and he made an odd noise into Tony’s hair. He waited a moment, but Loki didn’t make another sound after that. So, he did it again. And again, Loki made a strangled noise and shivered, but this time moved his body away slightly.  _ Oh. _ Tony felt a warm feeling go through him when he realised that he’d found one Loki’s sensitive places. He smiled to himself and tried to make sure that he would remember it. Moving his head slowly he pushed aside a little more of Loki’s shirt collar and tucked his nose in where he could make out his husband’s scent the strongest. Another soft kiss to where he was resting, and Tony let his eyes drift shut.

Even if Loki only stayed a little while once he was completely better, Tony would be happy. He knew that eventually Loki would tire of him, and that thought hurt terribly. But he hoped to have a little longer with him. His father had always said that Tony would never be good for more than warming a bed or making someone’s arm look pretty at a dance. His whole purpose for coming here had been so Howard could be rid of him and eventually use his marriage to extend his reach.

But it was all a futile effort. Tony had known from the moment he lay eyes on Loki that he was done for. And now that he held Tony’s heart so absolutely… there was nothing in the world that would make Tony leave him. Nothing except Loki himself.

Because there was one, crystal clear memory he had from his illness, though he didn’t know if it was real or if he’d dreamt it up in his fevered state. But the memory of Loki’s voice, begging him not to go, to stay with him always and not leave him alone… real or not, Tony clung to it fiercely. It had been what interrupted his conversation with his mama, and he’d known at the time that if he had taken her hand then, he would have left Loki alone. And that hurt more than anything else.

_ “Don’t go, Anthony, darling please. Stay with me, I’ll do better. I swear, I will. Anything! Everything! Please, please stay. Gods, my darling don’t… don’t leave me.” _

**~*~**

Loki refused to leave Tony’s bed for the next week. He read to him, helped him to the washroom and back and fed him. Thor wondered to himself only once if it was guilt on Loki’s behalf that had him acting so. And then he saw his brother’s face the first day that Tony came down to breakfast on his arm.

Loki looked like he’d just seen the sun for the very first time when Tony leant into him and smiled as he let Loki settle him into his seat.

Even Odin had joined them that morning, giving Tony a huge smile and friendly clap on the shoulder.

With Tony on the mend, Thor decided it was time to let the rest of the castle know, and after breakfast Tony was sat in a big squishy armchair by the fire.

“What is going on?” Tony was smiling, but he looked confused and he kept fidgeting with the cloak over his lap. Loki was standing behind his chair, carefully combing his finger through Tony’s hair.

“The staff wish to see that you truly are well, darling,” he said quietly as he worked through one particularly stubborn tangle. “They were very upset when we nearly lost you.”

Tony bit his lip, and Thor watched with barely concealed amusement as Loki reached down without looking and pulled it free.

“It will bleed.”

“Will not.”

“Don’t argue.”

Tony huffed and fell silent, an exaggerated pout on his face, and Thor grinned at the besotted look on his brother’s face. He didn’t dare to tease Loki for it though, not yet. He knew his brother well enough to know that as soon as he brought it up, it would disappear as quickly as it appeared. 

So he sat back in his own seat, content to watch as the winter house staff made their way in one by one, or in small groups until all thirty-five of them had seen Tony and fussed over him. And Tony knew each of their faces, knew their names and the names of their children. But the one who surprised him most was when the castle cook walked in.

“Tony! Ya little scallywag! D’ya have any idea how worried I was about you boy!” Tony’s whole face lit up and he immediately stood, swaying only a little as he did. He waved Loki’s worried hands away and took three big steps over to the cook, letting her fold him into a tight hug as he burrowed his face in her bosom.

“Cookie Kanil,” his voice was muffled, but Thor could hear the joy in it. “Cookie I’ve missed  you.”

“Aye and you had me worried sick ya little bugger,” she said in a fondly affectionate tone. She glanced around then and Thor watched as the panic started to show on her face. “P-Prince Thor, Prince Loki,” she stammered, and before Thor could stand to reassure her, Loki was already moving, one hand on her shoulder as he spoke.

“Thank you, Mistress Kanil, not only for all you do for us but for taking care of my husband when I did not. And for caring for him now.”

Tony shook his head and briefly lifted his face to smile at Loki. “’s all okay now, Loki. Cookie just knows that sometimes the only thing that can fix a bad day is a hug and a sandwich.” He pressed his face back down and mumbled something else, and Miss Kanil simply petted his hair and whispered back.

Thor watched with a smile, a rush of affection for his cook flooding through him. Loki was still hovering anxiously near Tony as he finally pulled back from the cook, who was wiping at her eyes.

“I’m sorry I worried you, Cookie,” he said softly. Thor saw the look she gave him that said more than words between them ever would. He saw a woman who recognised something in Tony, and remembered briefly his mother saying she’d lost her only child to the winter sickness many years ago, when Thor was still a child himself. She saw a lonely, lost little boy who needed someone to keep him steady and provide him the warmth he needed.

And he was so grateful to her for it. “Thank you, Miss Kanil,” he said, smiling at her. “You’re a blessing upon our household, truly.” Loki looked at him, his eyes wide in surprise, but he quickly schooled his expression back into something more resembling his usual self, as he agreed with his brother. Tony just beamed at them all, and gave the cook one last tight hug before she curtseyed and took her leave of them as Loki moved in to stand beside him.

“Isn’t she just the best?” Tony said with a grin as he leant into Loki’s shoulder. “She takes such wonderful care of me. She’s just like my Ana, in Iron Reach.”

“Ana?”

Tony nodded, still watching the door. “Mmhm. She’s Jarvis’ wife, and she helped to raise me.”

Thor frowned. “So she was like your mother, then?” Tony flinched a little at that, and stared at his feet, as he carefully shook his head.

“No… I-I only ever said that once to H-H-Howard,” he mumbled. “Only once. And I never, ever said it again.”

_ Howard Stark is a dead man. _ “But she was, was she not?” Thor pressed. “If she raised you?” Tony nodded a little but refused to lift his head. Loki sighed and pulled him into his arms, kissing his cheek as he did.

“Don’t fret, darling. I’m sure that there is nothing that would make your Ana happier than to know that there is someone here who is taking care of you as she did for so long.”

Tony sighed and let Loki lead him from the room, back to their bed to rest. Thor left them to be alone, and went instead to find his wife, wondering if perhaps it was time that they discuss children of their own again.

**~*~**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki learn and talk

Loki lay quietly on the settee, his eyes closed and his sleeping husband sprawled over his chest. Anthony had tried to argue that he didn’t need any more rest, but Loki had ignored him and pulled him down to rest regardless. He’d spread his wedding cloak over them, as Anthony still refused to let it go, and shut his eyes and laid still until Anthony went to sleep.

Or, he’d  _ assumed _ he was asleep. Anthony was shifting himself around, and just as Loki was considering opening his eyes to find out why, Anthony’s fingers touched his face gently. He stayed still, kept his eyes closed and concentrated on breathing steadily.

Anthony’s fingers were soft and his touches light as a feather, but when Loki didn’t move or wake, the touches got bolder. He stroked them over his eyebrows and traced their shape, followed the lines of his cheekbones and down his jaw.

“So pretty, Lo,” he murmured, and Loki was never more grateful he wasn’t the type to blush. Anthony let his fingers trace over his lips only once, moving them away to trace the outer shell of his ears and up into his hair. He brushed the thick, wavy strands back and ran his fingers through them, more words of praise whispered as he did.

Loki wondered just what had gotten into him, to have Anthony acting like this. They’d been more physically affectionate with each other, true, but nothing like this. This felt more intimate than anything Loki had ever done before, and yet he was barely being touched. Anthony’s wandering fingers moved from his hair to trace down the column of his neck, pressing gently along the veins there and down to his collarbone. Here he paused, and Loki was sure that Anthony was looking at his face because a moment later the careful exploration picked back up.

“Gorgeous,” Anthony breathed as he moved along Loki’s collarbone to the edge of his shirt collar. There was a shifting of Anthony’s weight then and Loki had to bite down on a groan when his husband shifted to sit further down his body. Another pause, and Loki had to concentrate on keeping his breathing even and steady as Anthony cautiously untied the lacings on his shirt collar and spread the fabric a little. He made a pleased sort of noise, as Loki’s pale chest was revealed a little more. More shifting and wiggling,  and Loki couldn’t help the tiny sound that escaped him then and Anthony froze instantly.

“Loki?”

_ Just breathe, in and out.  _ Loki stayed still, and after what felt like hours, Anthony gave a relieved sounding sigh and continued to explore what he’d exposed of Loki’s skin. Fingertips traced gentle patterns over his muscles and skimmed the top of his nipples, and Loki was positive that if there were really Gods, they must have been laughing at him now. 

This was his divine punishment for years of debauchery. 

He was to be tormented to death by the innocent explorations of his beautiful, virgin husband.

Anthony sighed and leant down, leaving gentle kisses along his chest and collarbone as he pulled the shirt laces back together. More shifting and –  _ Oh my Gods, Anthony, just be  _ **_still,_ ** _ please! _ – then there were small kisses being left along his neck and cheeks, before Anthony pressed his lips to Loki’s.

“I’m sorry Loki. I won’t leave you,” he whispered and kissed him again, before tucking his head down into the crook of Loki’s neck and sighing softly again. Counting backwards from one hundred helped to settle his pulse again and Anthony’s breathing slowed and steadied into the pattern that Loki recognised as sleep.

“Oh my Gods,” he exhaled roughly as he opened his eyes finally. The room was almost completely dark now, the only light coming from the half banked fireplace. He knew it couldn’t be any later than mid-afternoon at best, but the winter darkness played havoc with his sense of time.

He looked down at where the top of Anthony’s curly head was visible and wondered just what in the Hells had brought that on. It was easily the most intimate physical contact that they’d had between them so far, and he had  _ no idea  _ why his husband had suddenly instigated it. He wasn’t complaining, not by any means.

But… what Anthony had said before he fell asleep. Loki licked his lips and bent his head down a little to nuzzle into the brunette curls tickling his nose and cheek. It was odd to think that only a couple of months ago he’d been happy with his empty life. Constantly cycling bed partners and never giving himself the chance to heal or to be  _ truly _ happy. But now, with Anthony curled up in his arms, he felt… whole. The hollow pieces of his heart that Sigyn had left behind felt like they were finally starting to fill in. His cracked pieces were fitting back together and it was because of the man he held now.

Anthony was a puzzle. He so quickly went from a stammering mess to half-stripping and tormenting Loki out of his mind while he slept. It was intriguing. And now he knew that Anthony wasn’t going to leave him. He’d obviously remembered something from his illness. And Loki could only think of one time when he’d said that. When he’d sat with Anthony’s head cradled in his hands and his body limp and burning on top of his own. The second time the Elder had come to give him the Rites had been the time when Loki had truly, truly believed that he would die.

His husband had looked so small and frail in their suddenly enormous bed, Loki’s nightshirt hanging off his thin frame. Every freckle stood out in stark contrast on his pale skin, and he’d been constantly trembling, muscle spasms wracking his body as he struggled to breathe. And Loki had bent low over his head and kissed him, desperately begging him not to go, not to go with his mama, but to stay with him.

_ Anthony’s glassy eyes found his, and he watched as his husband tried to focus. “Don’t go, Anthony, darling please. Stay with me, I’ll do better.” _

_ A burning, trembling hand reached up and gripped Loki’s hair with surprising strength. Loki heard as the room went silent, the only sounds his ragged breathing and Anthony’s pained wheezing. _

_ “Mama… she…” _

_ Loki shook his head, and Anthony tightened his grip on his hair. “Gods, my darling don’t… don’t leave me.” _

_ Anthony smiled weakly at him and nodded, just once. “’m no’ g’na leave… Loki… y’r  _ mine _ …” _

And he hadn’t. He’d hung onto survival with an iron grip, the fever finally breaking later that same night. A miracle, good medicine and luck were all thrown around, but Loki thought that maybe it’d been something stronger. He knew that Anthony’s feelings for him were deeper than his own for him in return, but they were there. And they were growing. He ran an absent minded hand along Anthony’s arm and caught the glint of light as it hit the gold of his wedding band. He looked at his own left hand, still conspicuously bare, and felt guilt flood through him, hot and fierce.

Anthony had put his on almost right away, and Loki had tossed his into his bedside drawers without a second thought. It took a few minutes of careful moving but he got Anthony onto the settee with the cloak wrapped around him, and snuck into their bedroom on silent feet.

The ring was exactly where he’d left it, sitting underneath the pieces of paper and detritus he’d thrown on top of it. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands a few times, knowing that it would fit perfectly as soon as he put it on. His mother never missed a detail. As he turned it, the light caught a message engraved on the inside.

_ Love. Devotion. Faithfulness. _

The same meanings of the flowers that they had exchanged on their wedding day.

Loki smiled to himself and slipped the ring on.

**~*~**

The last few weeks of the winter dark passed them by slowly. Anthony recovered from his illness, and was mostly back to himself by the time the dark days began to lighten. Loki had spent much of his time after Anthony had recovered with the man, learning more about him and offering the same. They spoke of childhood dreams and books; of family and the things they missed most when they were away from home.

Anthony still wouldn’t let Loki read his book, but he didn’t hold it against him. Loki had grown very fond of his husband throughout the winter but he wouldn’t dare to call it love. He definitely enjoyed his company and sought him out often, and he would never deny Anthony’s physical advances. But to call it anything more than fondness… no. He wasn’t there yet.

Loki had suffered twice more through Anthony’s gentle explorations as he pretended to sleep, but had ‘woken up’ the second time because the feeling of his husband’s weight resting entirely on his crotch had been too much. Anthony had stared at him with wide eyes and an open mouth as he stuttered his apologies, but Loki had simply rearranged them and told him he didn’t mind at all. He did, however, keep a small cushion over his lap for a while, which Anthony wisely chose to ignore.

So now, his husband would often seek him out to simply perch on his lap and stroke his face or neck gently for a short while.  _ Memorizing the terrain _ he called it.

_ Divine torture and retribution _ Loki called it. 

But he would never deny it made him happy. To know that his husband had taken the time to know Loki’s entire face by touch alone was overwhelming. But it made him wonder just what had brought it on. He’d tried once to ask Anthony after he’d interrupted him the second time, but the smaller man had shut down and gone silent, so he let it go. It wasn’t worth upsetting their peace to simply satisfy his curiosity.

Thor and Natasha kept giving him  _ looks _ whenever they would find he and Anthony somewhere, his eyes closed and Anthony’s hands all over his face and chest. He had thought they assumed that he and Anthony had consummated their marriage at first, but Natasha had set him straight on that the first time he’d brought it up.

“Don’t be  _ ridiculous _ , Loki,” she’d scoffed. “We would be the first to know if you’d deflowered our Tony.”

And he really couldn’t argue with that because it was true. Anthony would have told them first thing. So he’d just sighed and ignored the  _ looks _ .

He was also trying to ignore the fact that Anthony was becoming very unsettled in his sleep since his mother had announced their plans for the End of the Dark Days Celebration. It was an annual event, and one that Loki usually looked forward to. But Anthony seemed to be quite anxious about it, and refused to speak to anyone about why.

Night after night, Loki would lay awake or be woken by his husbands quiet voice whispering in the dark of their room. Most nights it was nothing more than his name once or twice, sometimes Thor or Jarvis. Occasionally it was Natasha.

But some nights he would come awake screaming and gasping, clutching his chest and mumbling about stars in his heart. He would turn to Loki, his eyes huge and pupils blown with fear, his nails scratching at the skin of his chest as he gripped it tighter. And all Loki could do for him on those nights was to gently, so very gently, pry his nails free from his skin and hold him tightly until the tremors stopped. Anthony would just go limp in his arms, and occasionally make a soft noise of fear or exhaustion until he was calm again.

Loki was convinced it was something left over from his fever dreams, some little thing that had gotten stuck in his mind and he couldn’t shake. But if the only side effect he had from being as ill as he was were nightmares? He could handle that and be thankful for it. Anthony had become someone so very precious and important to him, and he didn’t know anymore what he would do without him.

His mornings had a routine now that all centered around the other man’s presence. He would wake to Anthony’s soft breathing beside him or on his chest, and then lay quietly with him until he woke. They would share a morning kiss and then move to their lounge for breakfast. Anthony liked to bathe at night, and so Loki would as well, to make less work for the maids. The smile that had earned him had been well worth the change to his routine. 

“Good morning, Loki.”

Loki looked down, startled out of his thoughts when Anthony spoke. His brown eyes were hazy with sleep still and he had a small, tired smile on his face. He was still thin and pale, but a few weeks of what Miss Kanil called ‘proper foods’ had done wonders for his weakened body. He smiled back, and kissed his forehead.

“Good morning, my darling. Did you sleep well?” Anthony ‘mmhmm-ed’ and pushed his face further into Loki’s chest, using his nose to nudge aside the fabric so he could rest his cheek on the bare skin above his heart. Loki huffed a laugh and Anthony just hummed again. He sounded so happy and content that Loki was loathe to move him at all, so he just pulled him closer still and got comfortable.

These long, lazy mornings in bed wouldn’t last forever. Once the spring came there would be work to be done – taxes to collect, the township to visit, court and parties to attend.

But for now, it was just the two of them in their comfortable bed and Loki had no intentions of moving anytime soon. His husband was warm and cuddly and there were no pressing errands to be tended to. So he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent that was so comforting to him now, of bergamot and cedar, and let it soothe him back into a doze.

The next time he opened his eyes, the room was brighter, though not by much and Anthony was still fast asleep beside him. It wasn’t surprising that he was still asleep, the stubborn little fool refused to rest throughout the day as he was supposed to. A soft kiss to his cheek and Loki wiggled out of the bed, taking care not to wake him. He pulled on his leggings and tunic, and one of his softest knitted vests over top, wanting to give Anthony something soft to rest his head on, should he choose to actually have a nap today like he should. A few quick strokes of the brush through his hair –  _ and that is going to need a trim soon or I’ll look like Thor –  _ and he was prepared for the day.  

He peeked in on Anthony, and was pleased to see he was still asleep, buried under a mound of blankets and his cloak. He left their room as quietly as possible and headed down to the Warm-House. Cook Kanil gave him a cheery greeting and he returned it before hurrying into the garden to find what he was after.

Flowers in hand, he stopped to properly greet Miss Kanil and take their breakfast tray with him, waving away her concerns and protests.

“Nonsense, Miss Kanil,” he said with a smile. “Anthony would have my head if he found out you’d brought the tray while I was right here!”

She gave him a nervous grin and nodded. “Aye he would. Make sure the little fiend eats something more than just his coffee, hm?”

Loki winked at her and took the tray, resting his flowers alongside Anthony’s coffee cup and smiling down at it. He was taking all of this one step at a time. But all progress was good progress, and if Anthony’s recent boldness was anything to go by, he was doing something right.

Anthony was awake when he re-entered their rooms, sitting on the settee with his letter box in hand, pen moving slowly over the paper. He looked up as Loki entered and beamed at him.

“You saw Cookie!” He reached for his coffee and paused, hand hovering awkwardly above the tray when he saw the small bunch of flowers. “Loki?”

Loki settled in beside him before he leant forward and carefully plucked one of the small flowers from the branch and tucked it behind Anthony’s ear. “It is  _ Stephanotis _ , darling. It means ‘Happiness in Marriage’.” He quirked a brow in Anthony’s direction when his husband made a surprised sound. “Did you think me unhappy still?”

Anthony looked at him for a moment before he turned his gaze back down to the fireplace. “Not… unhappy, no,” he said slowly. “But not… fulfilled? I know that you had, um, p-partners regularly. I imagine you must be - ” he made an awkward half-movement with his hand and blushed. “Um, in need of-of-of a p-partner.”

There was a silence then that Loki didn’t know how to fill. “I... I would not say that I am in  _ need _ of a partner,” he eventually said, passing Anthony his coffee before it went cold, moving the letter box to the table and picking his own cup up to keep his hands busy. He turned it this way and that as he thought over his next words. “I have not been a good person these last years. I had many partners, as you said. But all of them left me feeling… feeling more empty and unsatisfied then I was before I lay with them.”

Anthony peeked up at him from under his lashes and bit his lip in thought. Loki had to close his eyes and count down slowly from twenty.  _ He is going to kill me. _ He opened his eyes when he felt tentative fingers reach out and brush lightly over his cheekbones.

“Anthony?

But he didn’t respond, just ‘hmm-ed’ and moved closer, his fingertips moving to trace over Loki’s nose and top lip. He was making soft noises and mumbling under his breath as he moved his hands and shifted himself closer again to Loki, moving to put his legs over his lap so he was straddling him, pushing Loki’s back against the cushions. He couldn’t help the groan that he let out when Anthony pressed against him. Gods be damned, but it  _ had _ been a while, and their conversation topic hadn’t exactly had his mind anywhere innocent. And Anthony’s hands kept moving, lower over his face, over his neck and then moving to the collar of his tunic and vest, plucking at the laces for a moment. He hesitated, and Loki gave a relieved sigh that quickly became a gasp of  _ want _ as those inquisitive hands moved lower again, to toy with the fabric at top of Loki’s hips and his fingers splayed out further.

“A-Anthony,” he managed to get out. “Darling  _ what _ are you doing?”

The smaller man shifted his weight again, and Loki felt his breath hitch at the feeling. Anthony grabbed his hands then from where they were clenched at his sides and put them right above his ass, wiggling his hips again so Loki would grab on. And Gods what a glorious handful that was. 

“Giving you… um, that is… I can  _ see _ your-your frustration, and I can  _ feel _ it,” he mumbled, and Loki watched as the blush on his cheeks spread down his neck. “I’m g-gonna - so that you - um - ”

A sick, heavy feeling settled in Loki’s gut at those words. He grabbed the hands that were still playing with his hips. “No.”

Anthony’s head shot up and he stared wide-eyed. “No? Y-y-y-you  _ don’t _ want me?”

Loki shook his head, trying to get a grip on his desire, on the fact he  _ did _ want him.  _ Gods, do I want you. _ “No, I do,” he gripped Anthony’s hands tighter and leant in to kiss him chastely, just once. “I  _ do _ . But not like this. Not because you think that you  _ need _ to.”

“But I c-can see you want…” Anthony looked pointedly down at Loki’s lap and then back up. “So why?”

“Because,” Loki sighed and moved the brunette off his lap and back onto the settee. “Because  _ you _ don’t really want  _ me _ , not like this. Not yet.”

“B-b-but-!”

“No. Tell me why all of a sudden you want this. Everything lately has been so different between us. I don’t know what it is, and I am  _ so _ happy that you’re opening up to me, and allowing me your affection, but I cannot let  _ this _ happen between us now.” Loki loosened his grip on the hands he still held, and Anthony stared at them for a moment, before wrenching them away. He pulled away from him completely then and stood to pace the room, Loki’s wedding cloak trailing behind him, his coffee and their breakfast untouched and forgotten on the table. He let him pace and let himself calm down while Anthony worked his thoughts through.

“You know that I would wait as long as it takes for you to be ready. I would be happy still even if you never were. Will you tell me what’s on your mind, darling? ” he asked softly when Anthony’s pacing and muttering finally seemed to be calming down a while later. Their breakfast had long since grown cold, and the fire needed stoking if it was to be kept from going out, but Loki didn’t move. He watched as the brunette ran his hands through his hair in frustration and then seemed to just sag in on himself as he slumped back onto the lounge beside him.

“I w-wanted this,” he whispered, his voice small and sad, “because I’m worried that if I don’t give you myself now, you will find one of your old lovers at the Celebration next week.” He looked up at Loki then, his eyes wet and huge. “I could not bear the thought of you with another now,” he let out a small sob, and hung his head. “It was barely tolerable the night before we were wed. I… it would be too much for me to forgive. I am sorry, Loki! I s-s-said that I would forgive you anything, always, but I don’t know if I can forgive that…”

If ever there were a moment in his life that Loki wished he could undo, the night before his wedding would be at the top of the list at that moment. He watched Anthony as he hid his face in his hands and wanted nothing more than to reach out and offer comfort, but he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be welcome at the moment. Instead he stared down at his own hands, twisting the gold band on his finger as he thought of what to say. Because what could he possibly say that he hadn’t already said? Apologies meant nothing if repeated over and over. And Anthony had said that he had forgiven him, so asking for it again would be a pointless venture.

“There is no one, anywhere, that I would be unfaithful to you with,” he said eventually, ignoring the way that Anthony’s breathing suddenly picked up. He had to try and make him understand now that there was no one and nothing –

“What about Sigyn?”

\- that he could say that would be worse than  _ that _ .

“I… I beg your pardon?” Loki felt suddenly hot all over, his skin too tight and his heart beating much too fast. “What… why?”

Anthony squared his shoulders and turned to glare at him. “Because she was your first love, your true love, y-your  _ someone _ … the one you…” he trailed off and licked at his lips. Loki felt ill. “She was the one you wanted to be wed to, and instead you’re stuck with  _ me. _ ” He gestured sharply down his body and scoffed. “And I’m not exactly anything like  _ her _ am I? I can’t p-provide you with an heir or give you a  _ kingdom  _ when my father dies because I am not royalty! And you barely tolerate my presence! If I had not fallen so deathly ill, would we even be here? Would we be speaking and touching as we have been?” Anthony gasped in a ragged sounding breath before all the fight appeared to just leave him and he slumped forwards to rest his head in his hands again.

“You don’t love me, Loki. And I can accept that. I know that you will  _ never _ love me, because your heart is entirely for another. You kiss me and yet you don’t want me when I offer myself. I have seen how Thor and Tasha are. And we are like a poor imitation of their relationship.” He sighed, but it sounded more like a sob and Loki could see the tears dripping through his fingers. “You don’t want me,” he whispered. “Because you’re using me to replace what you lost.”

Loki could only sit there in stunned silence as Anthony wiped his face, stood and went into their bedroom. His mind felt like he was caught in a storm and being pulled in a hundred different directions. All he’d wanted to do was to let his husband know that he was happy, that he was enjoying their life together, and it had ended up… like this.

“I’m not Sigyn, Loki. A-and I’m sorry.” He could hear Anthony speaking but it sounded muffled and distorted, as though he had his head underwater.

The door to their rooms opened and closed, and he was left alone, wondering what in all the hells had just happened.

**~*~**

Thor was reading a letter from Healer Cho when he heard the quiet knock on his door. Natasha was already on her feet to open it before he’d even set the letter down.

“Oh my!” He looked around at her quiet exclamation and his eyes landed on a tear-stained and rumpled looking Tony. “Oh my, sweetheart, what’s happened?” She ushered Tony into the room and sat him on the big armchair across from Thor, draping a blanket over his shoulders and perching herself on the armrest.

“Tony, what has happened?” Thor asked him, setting his letter aside and staring at the young man across from him in concern. “Has Loki - ”

“No.” Tony’s voice was quiet but firm. “It was me.”

Thor felt his jaw drop. “You, kitten?”

Tony gave a small nod. “Yeah. I um, I tried t-to…” Tony’s face flushed and he dropped his eyes back to the ground. “Well, it doesn’t r-really matter what I tried. Loki he – um, he said no. And I… I lost my temper,” he whispered. “I think I really m-made a mess, Thor.”

Natasha leant towards him then as though to say something but before she could get a word out there was a hammering at their door.

_ “Anthony! Thor, please I know he’s in there! Will you let me speak to him?” _

Loki sounded upset but not angry, and Thor tipped his head at Tony in an unsaid question. He watched as Tony chewed on the inside of his cheek and then nodded.

“Come in, brother,” he called out, not taking his eyes from Tony. 

Tony was red-faced and staring determinedly at the ground when Loki approached him.

“Anthony…” Loki sounded awful, and Thor wanted nothing more than to reach out and embrace him, but a sharp look from his wife had him stilling his hand. She jerked her head in the direction of their bedroom, and they left silently. Tony and Loki didn’t even notice.

“Natasha, surely we should help - ” she clapped a hand over his mouth until he was silent, and closed the door to a crack, and peeked out.

She moved her hand and glared at him. “Shh Thor!”

Thor rolled his eyes, but moved closer as well.

“I do not think you are Sigyn, Anthony.”

Natasha drew in a harsh breath and flicked wide eyes up at Thor, who felt a rather sick feeling in his stomach.

“Anthony, will you look at me darling?” Loki was kneeling before Tony now, his hands raised in a placating gesture. “Please, you threw that accusation at me and left before I could get anything out!”

“I’m sorry,” Tony’s voice was so soft that both Thor and Natasha unconsciously leant forward to hear him better. “I… that was horrible of me.”

Loki sighed and tentatively put a hand on Tony’s knee, leaving it when the other man nodded. “Yeah, it was actually,” he agreed, and Tony sniffed. “But, as soon as you said all that, quite a few things clicked into place for me. Anthony, you saw the guest list, right?” A little nod, and Loki sighed again. “I know that she has been invited. But you… you need to understand that while I did love her, dearly and truly, it has been  _ years _ since I’ve seen her. Anthony, she is not going to take me away from you.”

Anthony’s head shot up and he glared at Loki. “It’s not her  _ taking  you away _ that worries me!” he spat, and Loki’s eyes widened a little in shock. “It’s the fact that you won’t be able to say no to o-o-one more night with her!” He hung his head again and Thor could see the shine of tears gathering in his eyes. “Loki, do you love her still? Can you honestly tell me that if she offered you one more night with her, that you would be able to say no? To come back to your still virgin husband and feel happy?”

There was a pause, and Thor and Natasha looked at each other a moment. Just what in the hells had happened between these two? Thor sighed silently to himself and shook his head when Natasha made a gesture to go out there.

“Yes, I would.” Loki sounded tired and sad, but his voice was steady and Thor could see that the tiny twitch in his jaw that he knew meant Loki was trying not to cry. “Anthony, I don’t… I don’t care that you won’t have a kingdom when your father dies. I don’t care that you can’t provide an heir – I have never wanted children! And I do not just… just tolerate your presence!”

Loki gave up on holding himself back at all then, and just pulled Tony down off the lounge into his lap, wrapping his arms around him as he did. Natasha made a tiny cooing noise and Thor saw her cheeks flush pink.  _ Such a romantic at heart my love. _

“Anthony,” Loki’s voice was softer than Thor had ever heard it, but the sincerity in his tone couldn’t be denied. “Can we simply move forward from this morning and continue as we have been? Were you truly so unhappy?” Tony shook his head and pressed his face further into Loki’s chest, his arms coming around his waist and gripping the back of Loki’s shirt tightly.

“I’m happier than I can ever remember being,” Tony whispered, and Thor felt his wife slip her small hand into his and squeeze it.

“Then let us leave my brother’s chambers and go back to our own, hm? I think you and I need to talk more, darling.” Loki stood then and simply scooped Tony up into his arms, nodding at Thor before he left the room with his protesting husband in his arms.

_ “I can walk Loki!” _ echoed back down the corridor to them as Natasha let go of his hand and moved to close their door. She leant back heavily against it and sighed as Thor moved out of their room to flop back down on the lounge. He took in the sight of his beautiful wife and smiled.

“I am eternally grateful that you and I worked our way through our marriage faster than those two,” he said and reached out a hand to her, grinning when Natasha took it. “My love,” he whispered with a kiss, settling his wife more comfortably on his lap as they both tried to recapture the relaxed mood from before the newlyweds’ drama.

“Thor, I’m worried about Tony meeting Sigyn. Why is she attending? She has refused every year before this one since she took the throne,” Natasha said a while later, staring at the flames in their fireplace. She picked up Thor’s hand from where it was resting on her waist and twisted her fingers through his in a weaving pattern as she spoke. “I don’t trust it.”

Thor sighed heavily. “King Fandral has died,” he explained. “I believe that she accepted when she did because she was unaware of Loki’s wedding. And now… now if she were to refuse to come, it would only cause more rumor and upset amongst the noble families, and we cannot have that. I don’t believe she has any… intent towards Loki.”

Natasha nodded. “I will kill her and no one will find her corpse if she ruins their happiness.”

“My deadly, beautiful warrior Queen… I have no doubt.”

**~*~**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dancing and talking and Sigyn!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small just in case chapter warning for a mention of a date-rape drug being used in the past (not on or by any major character)

**~*~**

“I don’t _want_ to go.” Loki sighed and looked over his shoulder at his sulking husband, who was refusing to get out of the bathtub. “I don’t want to. Can’t I claim my illness has left me far too weak to socialize?”

Loki laughed and shook his head fondly. “Darling, if you do not get out of that tub, you can be sure that Thor will be sent in to remove you forcibly. Mother does not take to tardiness well.”

Anthony sighed and griped, but he did get out at that and Loki turned his head away before he caught more than a glimpse of so _much_ bare, wet skin. Licking suddenly dry lips, he cleared his throat and fussed about with his braid while Anthony dried and dressed behind him. They had spoken more and more since their almost argument, and the rest of the week had passed without any lingering tension between them. Loki set his comb down on the marble countertop beside Anthony’s and flicked his braid back over his shoulder, taking care not to disturb the smaller, beaded braids. He straightened his tunic and vest, brushing a hand down the black and grey fabrics to ensure that no stray hairs had fallen.

“Loki? Can you help me?” He turned back slowly and found Anthony almost fully dressed, but holding his vest clasps up, a sheepish expression on his face. “Your father showed me how this was done before I fell ill, but I, um, I c-can’t remember.”

Loki laughed, and Anthony pouted. “They can be rather tricky if you’ve not worn them before,” he agreed and moved to take them. He pinned the small gold clasps to the open vest and threaded the fine gold chain through the loops and back over to make a knot. When he was done, he took a half-step back to make sure they were straight, surprised when Anthony followed him, and put a hand out on his chest, fingers digging into the fabric slightly.

Loki frowned, and threaded his fingers through Anthony’s where they rested. “Are you alright, Anthony?”

“Tony. Call me… you can call me Tony.” Loki stared at him a moment in confusion.

“You mean, as my brother and his wife do?” Anthony nodded. “Do you not like me calling you Anthony?”

“It-it’s not that. It’s just that… my mama, she said my friends and my special people should call me Tony.”

_Ah._ “Would it trouble you terribly if I called you Anthony still? It is your name after all, and I am quite fond of it.” He gave Anthony’s hand a comforting squeeze. “But only if that is alright with you.”

Anthony beamed up at him, rocking up onto his toes to press a barely-there kiss against his mouth. “It is. I like the way you say my name.”

Loki stared at him in wonder as Anthony kissed him lightly again before moving out into their bedroom to put his stockings and boots on. All the troubles and worries that Anthony had over tonight, the restless nights and deep worries about Loki’s fidelity… all seemed to have disappeared.

_Perhaps I’ve managed to quell his fears at last_. Smiling to himself, Loki followed his husband out to help with his boots.

**~*~**

They entered the Grand Hall together, Anthony’s hand tucked into the crook of his elbow, and wearing one of Loki’s warmer cloaks. The light from the many torches and lanterns around them caught the gold of Loki’s ring, and he smiled down at it. It felt good, a comforting weight on his hand. Nothing like the heavy shackle he’d envisioned it to be. Anthony was smiling at his side, his eyes wide and the lights glinting off his silver crown as he took in the decorations hanging from the rafters and the music from the ensemble in the corner.

Huge garlands of agrimony and larkspur had been woven together for the event, and huge vases of brightly coloured blossoms were everywhere throughout the room, leaving a pleasant floral scent in the air above the smells of the feast and fires. Loki guided Anthony through the room with a practiced ease, introducing them as they went to people who Loki recognized. Anthony charmed them all with his smile and quiet politeness, but Loki knew it was to stop his stutter from making an appearance that he was saying so little.

They sipped at the mulled wine being served and Loki pointed out where Thor and Natasha were dancing, waving to his mother and father as they circled the room. And Anthony never once let go of Loki’s arm. Loki couldn’t hold back the quiet, happy noise he made when his husband slid his hand along his arm to thread their fingers together and lean his head on Loki’s shoulder.

“This is quite a beautiful celebration,” he said into Loki’s ear. “I can see why you look forward to it each year.”

Loki turned his head a little and pressed a fond kiss to Anthony’s hair, being mindful not to knock his crown as he did.

“I think _you_ are beautiful,” he whispered, and watched in amusement as Anthony’s cheeks reddened and he ducked his head, a muttered, “ _Flatterer_ ” making him smirk. _Adorable._ “I think we should dance, darling.” Anthony grinned up at him and nodded in agreement.

“Why, Prince Loki, you look as wonderful as always!”

Loki couldn’t help the way his body froze when he heard that voice. Anthony noticed and moved his head from Loki’s shoulder to look up at him, tightening his grip on his hand. “Loki? What is it?”

“Are you not going to greet me?”

He turned slowly and there she was.

Sigyn stood alone, her elaborate golden crown and deep red gown standing out amongst the silver, green and greys of the crowd behind her. Anthony was a stiff, tense line at his side, and Loki let go of his hand to slide his arm around his waist, drawing him closer and feeling as he relaxed immediately.

“Your Majesty,” he gave a small, polite bow and Anthony did the same beside him. Sigyn nodded at them and smiled at Loki.

“Will you not introduce me to your companion?” Anthony went deathly still at his side, no doubt catching the barely there pause before the word companion, and Loki squeezed his waist.

“This is my husband, your Majesty. Prince Anthony Stark. Anthony, this is her Majesty Queen Sigyn of the Amethyst Isles.”

“Oh,” Anthony breathed, his own arm coming up to wrap around Loki’s waist. “I-it’s a p-pl-pleasure to meet you, y-your Highness.”

Sigyn was staring at Loki with an expression he couldn’t read, but he found he didn’t care. Anthony was trembling a little at his side, and Loki knew he would be panicking. Sigyn’s gaze never wavered from Loki’s face.

“You’ve married?”

Loki bristled at her incredulous tone and had to bite down the urge to snap at her. “Yes, I have. You were invited.” He replied shortly, letting go of a deep breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Anthony gave his hip a comforting squeeze.

“And where is your husband? King Fandral?” he asked when he had control of his temper again a moment later, looking around them as though the oaf might pop out of nowhere with another of his ridiculous jokes.

Sigyn’s eyes grew sad and she turned her head away. “He passed a few months ago. He was wounded on a hunt and infection set in.”

_Oh. That explains why she accepted the invite tonight. She thought I would still be waiting for her._ “I am sorry to hear it, Queen Sigyn,” he said respectfully. Fandral had been a simpleton, but a good man and Loki was saddened to hear he was dead. She nodded her head and turned back to face them. Her dark blue eyes rested on Anthony’s face for a moment, and Loki felt his husband flinch a little before she looked away.

“My con-condolences, your Highness,” Anthony said quietly. Sigyn barely spared him a glance, keeping her attention focused on Loki.

“Are you saddened for me, Loki?” she asked, her head tipped slightly to the side like a bird. “Would you dance with me now and take my mind off my grief?”

Anthony’s hand twitched on his hip, and Loki rubbed a gentle circle on his lower back, moving his hand beneath the cloak. Sigyn watched them with that odd expression back on her face.

“If it would please you, your Highness, I can spare one dance.” Loki leant down and brushed a gentle kiss over Anthony’s mouth and whispered, “I will return at the end of the song, darling.”

Anthony gave a jerky nod and moved to stand back out of the way, dropping his hand reluctantly from Loki. “I’ll w-w-wait here,” came the barely audible reply, and Loki sighed softly.

He held a hand out to Sigyn and escorted her out onto the dance floor. The song was almost halfway done, and they fell into the steps easily, twirling through the crowds with a practiced ease. Sigyn’s skirts swirled around their feet and tangled with the edges of Loki’s cloak as they moved.

“Are you happy, Loki?”

Loki looked down into her face and smiled gently. “Sigyn, I am so happy I keep waiting to wake up.” Her eyes swept down then to rest on his left hand and the corners of her mouth quirked in a small smile. “Truly, I am happy, Highness.”

“I can see that. You were never… never so free with your affections when you were with me. I had many parts of your heart Loki, but never the whole thing. Your little husband has it all, doesn’t he?”

Loki twirled them about in the final steps to their song, swinging Sigyn out into a graceful twirl before bringing her back in. He gave her a respectful bow, and softly kissed her knuckles as they stopped. “I thank you for the dance, Sigyn.” She stroked a hand down his face and patted his cheek in farewell.

“Go and dance with your husband, Prince,” she said quietly. “And tell the poor lad how you feel.”

“I can’t do that until I’m sure myself,” Loki looked over to where Anthony was standing still, exactly where Loki had left him. “But, perhaps soon.” He smiled at Anthony and saw as his eyes lit up as he smiled back.

“You always were a dramatic little dear,” Sigyn teased him good naturedly as she pushed him away in Anthony’s direction. “Go and dance with the poor wee thing. He looks as though he’s about to bolt.” Loki moved to walk away when she spoke again. “I am… glad that you’ve found your happiness, Loki.” He gave her a polite bow and left the dance floor quickly, his eyes never leaving Anthony.

The brunette was standing with a shy smile on his face and his hands fidgeting with the hem of his borrowed cloak. He was beautiful. Loki reached out a hand to him and bowed, sweeping his own cloak back and winking as he did. Anthony’s smile widened into something more genuine and he placed his hand in Loki’s without hesitating.

“May I have this dance, husband?” Loki kissed his hand and straightened up. Anthony stepped in close and stood up on his toes to kiss his cheek.

“As you wish,” he whispered in his ear and let Loki lead them out onto the dance floor.

**~*~**

“They are beautiful together, aren’t they?” Frigga’s voice was low and full of affection as she watched her youngest son dance by with Tony in a whirl of colour and laughter. “I’m so glad that they’ve come together now.”

Odin made a noise of agreement and Frigga smiled at him. “You did well, my King. I know it didn’t seem like it at first, but your decision has saved both those young men from an awfully lonely life.”

“Perhaps,” Odin took a mouthful of the wine in his cup and quirked a small smile at his wife. “But I do believe in the end it was your clever wording and less than subtle threats towards the lad’s father that convinced him in the end, hm?”

Frigga laughed loudly, and winked at Natasha when she looked over in surprise. “Oh my darling husband,” she wiped at her eyes and grinned at him. “You have no idea.”

Leaving Odin to drink his wine and shake his head at her antics, Frigga wandered off to mingle and catch herself up on the gossip. She’d already seen Queen Sigyn dance with Loki and was pleased to note that they had parted on amicable terms after the dance, her son going right back to his waiting husband. She nodded and smiled at some of the vapid young socialites that she passed and walked a little faster past the _older_ vapid socialites. More money than brains, those ones. Never anything genuine to say, they cared very little for anything that happened outside of their small circle.

She took a glass of the sweet white wine that was on offer by one of the feasting tables, and settled herself in to watch the crowd. These festivals and celebrations were something she adored, and took great pride in year after year. They were a perfect time to mingle with the courts, to ensure that the villages in the kingdom were being well cared for and to broker treaties and agreements anywhere that were necessary. Marriages were arranged, lovers found and lost - and a few children were born some months later-, and through it all, Frigga watched and listened.

A good Queen always knew what was going on in her kingdom, and she’d foiled more than one plot in her lifetime. So she sipped her wine slowly, and her attention was drawn to a small group of young men gathered in the corner by a window. They didn’t notice her as she slipped in behind one of the heavy velvet curtains to listen.

“There’s no way he’s still a virgin! The Prince wouldn’t have let him get through his wedding night like that!”

_Oh. They’re discussing Anthony. How vulgar._ She rolled her eyes and sighed silently, sipping at her wine.

“He’s right though, Harry. The Prince is a total whore. He was sleeping with Mrs Everhart! And she’s been married for _years._ ” A second voice, this one heavy with scorn and disgust.

A third voice piped up then. “I think we should see if we can’t get him away from the Prince… Maybe get a dance outta him?”

“Y’know, I reckon if we slipped a bit of that powder in his wine, we might be able to get away with him,” another of them said, and she could hear something rustle. “A pinch of this has always ensured I don’t spend my night alone after one of these things, if you follow me.”

There was quiet laughter from them all then, and Frigga’s stomach turned. She moved quickly and quietly, plucking the small paper packet out from the young man’s hand before he had a chance to react.

“You all,” she pointed at them one by one. “All four of you, with me. _Now._ ”

She watched with cold pleasure as all the colour drained from their faces, and the one who had been holding the packet began to stammer.

“I said, _now_ boys.” Frigga kept her voice low and furious. “You are going to follow me without making a scene. Let’s go.”

She waited until they’d all nodded and lined themselves up in front of her, then swept off in the direction of the King and their parents.

One very uncomfortable conversation later, the miscreants were escorted out by their embarrassed parents and some of the castle guards, and she was back to sipping sweet wine and watching her sons dance with their partners

A lifetime ban from entering the castle grounds, as well as summons to appear before the Court and formally apologise to every single member and their daughters and sons was almost too light a punishment. But Frigga was in no mood to spoil her pleasant evening by issuing whippings and dragging the little pigs to the dungeons to be dealt with. No, she would let the Court and the families scorned have their vote on punishment, especially considering at least one of the young ladies they’d named had been a personal favourite of hers to visit with. For tonight, removing them would do.

She smiled as Loki and Tony twirled past again, Tony’s soft laughter and Loki’s blinding smile bringing an equally big smile to her face. She was content, and happy. Odin was standing at her side, a comforting hand resting on her waist and she leant her head against his shoulder as she surveyed the party and drank her wine.

She was Queen. This was her domain and no one would hurt her family.

**~*~**

“Your mother put the fear of _all_  th’ gods into those boys,” Tony giggled as he and Loki made their way back to their rooms much later that evening. He’d drunk more wine than he’d meant to, and his head was pleasantly fuzzy, and his tongue was tingling and hard to wrap around his words. “She is _most_ terrifying! I shouldn’t, um, whatsit…” the words escaped him and he snorted, giving up on trying to find the word. “She’s ‘mazing.”

Loki was chuckling beside him, having had much less to drink and tightened his grip on Tony’s waist so he wouldn’t fall. “She is rather amazing, darling,” he agreed readily. “As are you.”

Tony giggled again, because really, Loki was being _very_ sweet. And he was _maybe_ rather drunk.

“I’m glad you think I’m being sweet, Anthony. And yes, you are rather drunk.”

“Oh… I said that out loud did I?” He wobbled on his feet when Loki stopped them to open the heavy doors to their rooms, and leant back against him with a happy hum. “Mmm, you feel very nice,” he mumbled.

Words were bothersome.

Loki nodded and agreed with him, but Tony had the feeling he was just humoring him as Loki led them into the bedroom and sat him down on the bed.

Tony flopped back gracelessly onto the bed ignoring the pain from his crown stabbing him in the head, and rolled over onto his stomach with a happy groan, wiggling his feet to loosen his boots. Loki sat beside him and Tony smiled as he unlaced his boots and threw them into the corner.

There was a soft patting on his hips and Tony took the unsaid hint and lifted them up so Loki could slide his leggings down, pulling his tunic down to cover him as he did. Another gentle pat, and Loki’s arms were under his to help remove his vest, the clasps put away carefully on the bedside table and the vest tossed aside. Loki took his crown off and placed it with the clasps, kissed his forehead and laid him back on the pillows, drawing the blankets up to his chin. All without saying a word. He watched Loki undress and climb in beside him, and immediately rolled over to cuddle into his chest and side.

“You’re too good f’r me,” Tony’s face was buried in his chest, but he knew Loki could hear him. “’m sorry I’ve been a borin’ an’ sick husband, Lo.”

“Hush Anthony,” Loki finally spoke, his voice gentle and quiet. “You’ve not been a boring husband at all, darling. And _you_ are the one who is much too good for me.”

Tony shook his head and pressed his lips to Loki’s chest, nuzzling his nose into the fabric above his heart and listening to its steady thumping for a moment.

“I think if I’d’a died you’d be happier,” he mumbled. The words felt like they were just tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them, his tongue and his mind disconnected from each other. “Then you’d have someone who you c’n be with in all the ways you needa be.”

Loki sighed, and Tony felt his chest rise and fall heavily. “Darling,” he said so very softly. “If you had died, I don’t know that I would have ever felt truly happy again. You’re very, very dear to me. I don’t need someone to be intimate with me to make me happy now.”

Tony closed his eyes against the sudden burning sensation in them and pushed his face harder into Loki’s chest. He was so tired now, the wine fogging his mind and his fingers tingling with it. And Loki was so comfortable. He shuffled even closer and threaded his legs through Loki’s longer ones, tucking one arm under his waist and wrapping the other one tightly over the top. _Perfect._

“You’re quite an affectionate little thing when you’ve been drinking, aren’t you?” Loki was laughing quietly and Tony grinned, nodding his head.

“Mmm, I jus’ like to be close t’you, I think. So _warm_ Lo,” he rubbed his face against the soft shirt again and Loki started to softly brush his fingers through his hair and make soft, soothing noises. Tony could feel himself starting to drift off, and he made a happy noise he’d never admit to while sober when Loki’s arm about his hips pulled him even closer still.

“You’re calling me Lo,” his husband said quietly. “Is it something you’d like to call me more often?” Tony shook his head and then changed his mind and nodded.

“Maybe?”

“I don’t mind, darling.” The fingers in his hair resumed their careful combing, Loki’s fingers slipping down to rub gently at his temples and trace the outside of his ear with every other stroke. Tony was positive he’d never been so comfortable or happy in all his life. It was that feeling, that sense of comfort and warmth that he would blame for what he said next.

“I didn’ think you’d come back wi’ me tonight… Thought… ‘cause y’looked good with Sigyn.” He sighed, and bit his lip. “D’you think… c’n you love me one day, Loki? I think I… you’re it f’r me… you’re m’ whole heart, Lo.”

Loki went still beneath him and the hand in his hair faltered. Tony just sighed and sniffed, rubbing his itchy eyes on Loki’s shirt. He’d just pretend he’d never asked, so Loki wouldn’t feel obliged to answer.

_But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all._ He felt his mouth twitch in an almost smile as the quote drifted through his hazy mind.

Tony felt himself drifting off and didn’t fight it. He was so _tired._ And he knew that he wasn’t good enough to be loved by someone like Loki. At least in his dreams he’d hear it back.

_You’re_ **_my_ ** _whole heart, Anthony._

**~*~**

Loki lay awake for a long time after Anthony had fallen asleep his mind racing and his hands tracing random patterns on Anthony’s hip. He’d as good as told Loki that he loved him and then fallen asleep when Loki had frozen up.

He looked down at Anthony’s face, slack and peaceful in sleep with no concern whatsoever for the absolute _hell_ he’d left Loki in. Would he remember this in the morning? Would he say it again while he was sober?

_What would he say back?_ And that was what worried Loki most. What would he say back if Anthony were to say it again while he was sober in the morning? He knew his own heart, and while Anthony was dear to him, more so than anyone, he wasn’t sure if it was _love_ yet. And he would not lie to him, not about this.

Their relationship was improving in leaps and bounds that much was true, but for Anthony to know that Loki was _it_ for him… That there would be no other, _ever_ , in his heart? How could he be so sure? Especially after their awful start, the misunderstandings between them, he still…

Loki sighed and buried his face in Anthony’s hair, breathing in the smells of wine, wood smoke and the hints of bergamot and cedar underneath it. He treasured his husband, adored him and admired him. But he just couldn’t _love_ yet. Love led to betrayal and hurt in all his experience with it. He’d freely loved his family only to find out they weren’t his blood family. He’d given his whole heart and soul to Sigyn, and she’d not even fought for him when he’d fought for her. She had just accepted things as they were, and married Fandral.

And apparently Anthony’s fears about he and Sigyn seeing one another again hadn’t been as overcome as he’d hoped.

The rest of the night passed slowly as he slipped in and out of a restless sleep, his dreams broken and dark. He woke before Anthony did and watched as the sun crept through the window and slowly brightened the room. It hit their crowns, sitting side by side on his bedside table, the silver and gold throwing bright reflections around their room. Mostly, he watched as it slowly crept over Anthony’s sleeping face, slowly highlighting the smattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose, hitting his hair and making it glow where it was lightest. He smiled as Anthony moved and shifted his face further into Loki’s chest, pulling at his shirt so the sun wouldn’t hit his eyes.

“Ugh,” came a grumpy mumble from his chest. “Go ‘way sun.”

Loki stifled a laugh and Anthony groaned. “Don’ move,” he whined pitifully. “I’m _dying_.”

“You aren’t dying,” Loki replied with a grin. “You’re hungover. Do you have any idea how much wine you drank last night?”

“Obviously not since I can’t _remember_ last night!”

_Oh. Well, that solves that problem, I suppose_. Loki gave himself a moment before he sighed. “Well, you drank far more than I thought possible for someone of your height,” he teased affectionately. “And you are quite the octopus in bed when you’re drunk, darling.”

“I am _not!_ ”

Loki snorted at the indignant tone, and Anthony groaned again. “You are, and you are _very_ hungover.”

“ _You’re_ a hungover,” was all he got in return. Loki stared in disbelief at Anthony’s hidden face for a moment, and laughed loudly, ignoring his husband’s complaints and pleas to be quiet.

“I won’t! That was, without a doubt, the most immature thing I have ever heard you say! It - it didn’t even make _sense_!”

Anthony blew a raspberry into his shirt, and that just set Loki’s laughter off again. “Stop laughin’ at me, Loki,” he whined. “I am _dying_ here, and you’re laughing at me. My brain is _liquefying_ and you’re gonna laugh while I just _die_ from all this _pain_.”

It took Loki longer than he would admit to get himself under control again, and for Anthony to stop whining and complaining in ridiculous ways. They eventually made it out of their bed, and Loki made sure to wrap Anthony snugly in the cloak he still slept under and deposited him on the couch. He kissed his wild bedhead and stuck his head out the door to call for a maid with breakfast.

Anthony had managed to roll over onto his side and was moaning about coffee. Loki lifted him up like a swaddled babe and sat him back up in the corner. There was a knock at their door, and a maid with a tea trolley stopped by the end of the lounge, bobbed a quick curtsey and left, closing the door quietly behind her.

“ _Lokiiii_ ,” he looked over at where his husband was listing slowly sideways again and sighed. “Coffeeeee…”

“You are hopeless.” Loki fixed his coffee with an extra sugar in it to help with his headache, and nudged Anthony upright again before he passed it to him with a fond smile. “Absolutely hopeless.”

Anthony just shrugged his agreement and gave a completely indecent sounding moan as he sipped his coffee. Loki felt his face heat up at the sound and immediately turned his attention to his own coffee and breakfast.

He watched Anthony closely out of the corner of his eye though, to make sure he was feeling all right and not suffering terribly. They’d had an enjoyable night at the celebration when all was said and done. Loki had seen Sigyn and the world hadn’t ended. But their conversation afterwards still played heavily on his mind. That Anthony was _still_ worried that he was going to go off with her for a night because he was unsatisfied. He closed his eyes and breathed in the steam of his coffee to help clear his head. Perhaps it was time he showed Anthony how serious he was. Somehow.

But… he’d tried to give him flowers to speak of his happiness and it had almost devolved into an argument. Loki opened his eyes again and stared into the flames of the fireplace. He could hear Anthony munching away at a pastry beside him, his hangover clearly on the mend.

He finished his coffee slowly and let Anthony have his pick of the breakfast tray before he ushered his husband into the bathroom to wash up. Loki took his time brushing his teeth and hair, content to watch Anthony as he fussed about in the washroom. His hair had grown since he arrived, the unruly mess of curls now brushing his shoulders, and the weight he’d lost during his illness was slowly being replaced. His face had lost the gaunt, sharp edges it had left him with and his eyes had their shine and sparkle back. Loki watched him complain to himself as he shaved and tidied his hair.

Anthony drifted from the washroom into their bedroom to dress, and Loki was ridiculously pleased when Anthony asked him his opinion on his attire for the day as he’d just had a marvelous idea.

“Dress warmly, darling. And comfortably.” Anthony gave him a curious look, but pulled on his warmer leggings and tunic regardless. Loki dressed in a hurry, suddenly eager to put his idea into motion.

As soon as Anthony had tugged his boot on and gotten to his feet, Loki had threaded their fingers together and was pulling him out the door.

“Loki!” Anthony was laughing as he hurried to catch up. “Where are we going in such a hurry?”

Loki just grinned at him over his shoulder and led him down the hallways from their rooms, and down to the library. He prodded Anthony over to a large pile of soft cushions and blankets, fussing about until he was comfortable and warm.

“Now,” he said quietly. “Tell me a story you love, and I shall read it to you.”

And _oh_ was it worth it to see the way Anthony’s eyes widened and his whole being lit up. “Really, Loki? W-will you read to me from _your_ favourite instead?” he asked, his voice quiet but excited. “I would love that more.”

That hadn’t been what Loki was expecting at all. He’d thought to simply read to Anthony from a book of his choosing, remembering his words from before he fell ill that he’d like to spend a day having Loki read to him. So Loki just nodded and moved to fetch his favourite story.

“Oh, you’ve read Alexandre Dumas! I never did finish that one though it was terribly intriguing! I had to leave it behind and I can’t remember where I was or I would have kept reading it,” Anthony gushed when he laid eyes on the thick book in Loki’s hands. _The Count of Monte Cristo_ had always been a particular favourite of Loki’s.

“Calm yourself, darling,” he laughed and opened the book, taking a moment to breathe deeply and enjoy the smell of the library; wood smoke from the fire, the beeswax candles and the faintly musty smell of the book’s pages. “I shall start from the beginning, hm? We have the rest of the winter months to get through after all.”

He settled himself in beside Anthony and accepted the sweet kiss his husband offered. Anthony crawled into his lap and spread his blankets over them both, resting his head against Loki’s chest and sighing contentedly. Loki kissed his head and began to read.

_“On the 24th of February, 1815, the look-out at Notre–Dame de la Garde signalled the three-master, the Pharaon, from Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples.”_

_ **~*~** _


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters, murder and a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you William Goldman, for one of my very favourite books and movies.  
> Thank you Stan Lee, for the wonderful worlds and characters you gave us <3

 

**~*~**

 

The rest of the winter months passed in much the same fashion. Loki and Tony spent their days reading to one another, talking and exploring the castle. Tony spent time with Frigga and Odin both, learning his duties for the Social Season as the Prince’s husband. He spent time with Thor gaining his strength back and time with Tasha learning to fight and to defend himself. He met the castle guards, and immediately became fast friends with one of the guards who’d been there the night of the party to escort the boys out that Frigga had frightened.

Clint was hilarious. He told awful, bawdy jokes and laughed all the time - even when no one else was. He had remarkable balance and could hit the bullseye of the archery range targets from a further distance than Tony had ever seen. Loki had simply rolled his eyes and muttered something about ‘ _ not being surprised _ ’ when Tony had told him about his new friend. Clint had grown up in Rutherglenn with Tasha and her brother, and followed her over when James had taken the throne and the mantle of the Winter Soldier.

“It’s all a very dramatic way to say he’s the fuckin’ King and leader of the army’s all,” Clint had grouched when Tony asked him what a  _ Winter Soldier _ was. “Cause its always snowy and cold, ya see? Winter? He’s a soldier?” He’d shaken his head sadly and clapped Tony on the shoulder. “All the awesome shit they coulda come up with, and they go with Winter Soldier. It’s sad man, just fuckin’ sad.”

So Tony’s days were full of people and things to do, and his evenings and mornings were spent with only Loki. They’d still yet to go any further than kisses and touching above the belt, but Tony was happy and Loki said he was too. He knew he was being ridiculous, that they were coming up on nearly six months of unconsummated marriage, but they had the Elder’s blessings after their disastrous ceremony, and Tony was in no hurry. Besides, he was enjoying getting to know his husband properly. Loki had very quickly become the center of Tony’s entire world. His smile could brighten Tony’s day no matter how gloomy he felt, and every touch or kiss that he initiated was like a balm on Tony’s soul. 

A few days after the last of the snow had melted away from the driveway found Tony sitting with Loki and Thor in the small lounge room, reading their way through the stack of letters to be sent out with the couriers in the morning and preparing for the Spring Rites and festivities. He had his flower book open beside him and a pile of paper with notes scribbled all over it for Frigga to look over when she came back from town with Tasha. Now that the roads were open and the snow melting away, the kingdom was waking up again. There were crops to plant, animals to breed and sell, babies were being born and the fishermen were preparing the harbors for the season. Boats and ships from across the Seas were docking and their crews wandering through the township of Aysgarth, spending gold and selling their wares.

It was a busy time, and Tony loved it. There was something new everyday to learn and see.

He was sitting on the floor with his head in Loki’s lap while he re-read some of the notes he’d taken about the flowers for the Spring Rites ceremonies when their peace was interrupted by a timid knock on the door. Thor called them in without looking up from his own papers, and Loki was the one to lazily extend a hand to take the note they held. He waved them off with a quiet thank you, and Tony realized he was going to have to learn the names of all the new staff now that the house would be open for entertainment and political guests again.

Loki went stiff underneath him and Tony sighed. “What’s the bad news?” he asked, resigned. He rolled his head a little so his face was pressed into Loki’s stomach and wound his arms about his waist to snuggle in further, ignoring Thor’s whispered  _ ‘kitten’  _ and flung a foot out blindly, grinning into Loki’s stomach when he made contact and heard Thor grunt.

“Darling…” Loki’s tone immediately put him on edge. Tony shook his head and gripped his husband tighter.

“Read it to me?”

_ “To the Prince Anthony Stark, Lord of Iron Reach. It is with our deepest sympathy that I must inform you of your father’s death this day the last of Winter. There will be no funeral rites given until you are home, or we are otherwise instructed. We will keep the gate open and the lights burning. _

_ -Jarvis.” _

Tony kept his face hidden in Loki’s stomach, grateful that he wasn’t facing the room. Because it wasn’t grief on his face. It was  _ relief _ .

Howard was dead. It felt like a weight that Tony didn’t know he’d been carrying on his shoulders was suddenly gone. He felt lighter and free in a way he never had. There was a weird noise coming out of him that he couldn’t stop, and it wasn’t until Loki rolled him over and moved his face out of his stomach he realized it was almost hysterical laughter.

“He’s gone!” Loki’s hands were on either side of his face and he tried to focus on the concerned green eyes in front of him but all he could do was laugh.

“Anthony,” Loki murmured, and Tony drew a huge gasping breath trying to stop the laughs still escaping him. “Calm yourself, darling.”

Tony could feel his head spinning as he took another breath and pressed his face harder into Loki’s hands. “He’s gone,” he whispered as his laughter finally stopped. “Gone. No more beatings, no more  _ rape _ , no more lying and pretending!”

Thor went very still behind him, but Tony couldn’t look away from Loki’s eyes. They were the only thing keeping him grounded now.

“Rape, Anthony?” Thor’s voice was quiet but he could hear the undercurrent of  _ danger  _ in it. Tony didn’t care though. He was beyond Howard’s reach forever now.

“Yeah…” he sighed and let Loki draw him forward so he was being cradled in his lap, his head resting against Loki’s collarbone and his arms tight around him. “Not me. Never… no one has touched me. H-Howard reinstated  _ Prima Nocta _ a few years back. I’m surprised you didn’t know. The other nobles all had  _ opinions _ too, until Howard starting sharing the duty.”  

“By the  _ Gods _ ,” Thor spat, on his feet in an instant. “Were he not already dead I would wrench his vile head from his body! That law was forbidden in Midgard for a reason! It is beyond cruel and barbaric, it is  _ unforgivable _ !”

Tony stared at him in shock. “You didn’t know? Truly?” When Thor shook his head and snarled something unintelligible, Loki answered for him.

“If we’d known, darling, Father would have put a stop to it. He would have revoked your father’s rights and lands. It would have ruined him. Your father was lucky to escape notice as long as he did.”

Tony snorted and shook his head. “It wasn’t luck. He paid the guards, he shared the duty of carrying it out and all of a sudden it was perfectly fine.” He turned his face away, suddenly ashamed. “I tried to stop him. He beat me so badly it took our family doctor weeks to heal it.” Loki’s arms twitched around him and Thor made another angry noise but Tony ignored them. The words just kept tumbling out like there had been a muzzle on him that was gone now.

“He was vicious, completely indifferent to the lives he was ruining. The people they would see me out and they would beg me to speak with him, to spare their daughter or sister the shame. And I would… I would listen and I would agree. And then I would be sick with guilt as soon as I got home, because I was too much a coward to ask my father again. Because I was afraid of the pain and didn’t want to die for something I knew he wouldn’t do. Mother died, and he died beside her.” Tony wiped at his eyes furiously, refusing to let himself grieve for the old bastard.

“I  _ hated _ him from the moment he first struck me down. I was barely six when mother died. I can hardly remember her. I remember… a cruel man who treated the horses in the stables with more love and respect than he ever showed me. And I… I am  _ glad _ he’s dead.”

Loki squeezed him tighter for a moment. “You are not being judged for feeling that way, darling. Not here, not ever. Your father was a despicable man.” He sighed into Tony’s hair, and Tony sniffed. “We must find Mother and Father now, and make plans to go back to Iron Reach.”

Tony shook his head. “No. I won’t go back, not for this. He didn’t let me attend my mama’s funeral, and I will not stand by his graveside to farewell him now.”

Thor rumbled his agreement and stomped out of the room, calling for someone to fetch his mother and father to the room. Tony absently pleated the fabric of the back of Loki’s shirt between his fingers while Loki re-read the note.

“He doesn’t mention how your father died,” he said, running a hand through Tony’s hair to get his attention. “Darling, are you sure you do not wish to go back?” Tony nodded. “Very well. You must write Jarvis back for information. I will send it with one of my most trusted riders, and they will wait for the reply before returning. I have a feeling this is information that you will not want to become known.”

“You’re probably right about that,” Tony agreed, moving himself off Loki’s lap and reaching a hand down to help the other man to his feet once he was up. “But regardless of which of my Father’s  _ business partners _ has terminated their agreement with him so permanently, I am not going back to Iron Reach. This is my home now.”

Loki took his hand and Tony grinned down at him. “I’m feeling rather sentimental now, it appears,” his voice was deceptively light and teasing and Loki took the offered change of subject as he’d hoped.

“You are always a sentimental little sap,” he teased right back and Tony laughed. If it sounded a little forced, neither of them said anything. Tony spun on his heel and dragged Loki along behind him.

“Come on then, husband. Let’s go find your brother before he devolves into a Neanderthal completely. He was grunting and growling rather a lot.”

They found them all in Odin’s study -  Thor sitting beside his mother, Odin at his desk with a glass of amber liquid in his hand. All three looked up as Loki and Tony entered, and he smiled at Frigga when she shot him a concerned look, moving to kiss her gently on the cheek.

“I’m alright, Majesty,” Tony whispered in her ear. “Thank you, though. It’s no loss, not really.” 

Frigga nodded and patted his cheek gently. “Thor has informed us of the…  _ particular _ land laws your father had enforced. We are so sorry, sweet boy, that we weren’t aware of it sooner. Odin would have put an immediate stop to it.” She sighed and Tony moved to sit beside Loki on the other small couch across from Frigga and Thor. Odin grumbled something into his glass and took a huge mouthful, tossing the glass back almost viciously.

“Your father was a scoundrel and a wretched excuse of a man,” the King snarled and slammed his empty glass down on the desk. “You truly have our apologies that we were not informed of his depravity sooner, son. We would have put a stop to it, I swear to you.” Odin rubbed a hand through his beard and sighed. “Alas, what’s done is done. I am sorry for your loss.”

Tony just nodded and swallowed the words he wanted to say.  _ It’s no loss. I hated him. I am happier here than I ever was there. Please don’t make me go back at all. _

Loki’s hand crept into his and linked their fingers together, and when Tony looked over he winked. “Don’t fret, darling. We aren’t going to make you go back.”

Odin grunted his agreement, and refilled his glass. “Aye,” he said bitterly, swallowing a mouthful.

“We’ll not be sending you back. There’s no need for you to attend his funeral.”

“I will send a letter to Jarvis,” Tony’s voice was quiet, and he squeezed Loki’s hand for comfort, feeling as though he’d been anchored back to the ground when Loki squeezed back. “He will understand my reasons, I think better than anyone else.”

Loki agreed softly, and Thor was nodding along. “We shall send Hogun. He is our swiftest rider and one of our most trusted amongst the Castle guards. If you can have your reply written by morning, kitten, we will send Hogun out with the others. He can reach Iron Reach Manor by midmorning the following day.”

Tony replied quietly in the positive and leant back against Loki’s side. In the space of a few months his entire world had been spun around and turned inside out. And now, with his father dead, it was to change again. Although he didn’t need to return for the funeral, he would need to return eventually, if only to oversee the destruction of the Manor, and the rehoming of its staff. He chewed on his lip as he thought.

It might be possible to perhaps repurpose the house somehow… as an orphanage, maybe. Somewhere for the children who had nowhere else to go. Ana and Jarvis were unable to have children of their own, but to fill the Manor with them would be wonderful. He closed his eyes and he could see it. All the dark, dreary corners and hidden rooms of the house open and full of light and colour, small feet running through the halls he was never allowed in. Tony opened his eyes and gave Loki a reassuring smile when he caught the worried look he was giving him.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered, and leant upwards to kiss his cheek. “It’s a good thought.” Loki looked pleased at the kiss and settled back down to listen in to Thor and Odin’s quiet planning for the Iron Reach lands. Tony had already told Odin all those months ago when he first arrived and his marriage was so rocky and new, he didn’t want anything to do with them – they were to be retaken by Aysgarth and their reach to extend. The lands held no interest for him, and the iron veins on which they sat would be good for the Aysgarth economy. The Iron Reach was a prosperous land when it was being ruled well.

And if the knowledge that having his childhood prison filled with laughter and light would have Howard miserable for all eternity, then that was just a positive bonus. Tony bit down on a grin that threatened to escape, and looked around the room they were in, taking note of the small things he’d not noticed last time.

Odin’s study was a small, but comfortable space. His armour and swords were on proud display in the corner, and a cracked shield was mounted on the wall behind his desk. Tony had asked about it before, and Loki had told him it was the shield that Odin’s father had been carrying the day he died in battle, and the throne fell to Odin. There were miscellaneous trinkets and books stacked in all the bookshelves, and piles of papers strewn across his desk. Tony noticed that there was an extra bottle of whatever liquor he was drinking tucked almost out of sight behind a rolled up map of Midgard. The fireplace was lit and warm, and the painting that sat on the mantle was one of Tony’s favourite in the whole castle.

A tiny Thor sat perched on his father’s knee with a huge toothy grin on his face, Frigga beside them with a small black haired baby in her arms, swaddled tightly in long blankets of a soft green. The painting was done with such a gentle hand and attention to detail that Tony was certain he could stare at it for hours and he’d still notice new details the next time he looked. Loki’s eyes were small dots of a brilliant emerald, and Thor’s gleamed with mischief and fun. Frigga was as calm and poised as ever, but the sparkle in her eye was there too. Odin’s eye-patch was brown in this painting, and the scars below it still red and healing. Tony wondered if maybe his eye had something to do with how Loki came to be his son.  

He flicked his eyes over the other occupants of the room and caught Frigga’s eye. She gave him a tiny wink and he grinned at her in return. She made a show then of clearing her throat slightly and stretching as she stood.

“Come on boys,” she said, gesturing at them all to stand up. “There’s nothing more to be done now by sitting here and rehashing the same few details over and over, hm? Why don’t we all go now and have our dinner. Then Tony can sir and write his letter, and we can inform Hogun of his journey tomorrow.”

Tony stood immediately, and reached his hand down to offer to Loki, pleased when it was accepted. He gave a small tug and Loki lurched awkwardly to his feet, resting a hand on Tony’s shoulder to catch himself.

“Steady now, husband,” he teased as the Prince straightened himself out. “Else people may think you’ve been sipping at what your father has been guzzling this whole time.”

Loki gave a startled laugh, and waved it off as Thor gave him a concerned look. “Anthony!” he chided, the scolding completely ruined by the grin on his face. “Honestly, the fumes were strong enough I’m surprised  _ you’re _ not tipsy.” Tony scoffed and stuck his nose up haughtily.

“As if mere fumes would be enough to intoxicate  _ me _ , highness. I am far above such nonsense and weak forms of inebriation,” he sniffed, sneaking a look at Loki from under his lashes, and laughing loudly at the astonished look on his face. “Oh come now, I am perfectly capable of making a joke!” Tony pouted and crossed his arms. “It’s not as if I haven’t before, you know.”

Thor chuckled from where he was standing by the doorway. “Ah but kitten,” he said with a nod to Loki. “I don’t believe my brother has been subjected to your  _ particular _ brand of humour as yet.”

Tony poked his tongue out at Thor in response, and promptly ignored the huge bellow of laughter from the blonde. Loki stood there for a moment longer looking rather baffled before he simply shook his head and put an arm around Tony’s shoulders.

“Come along then my little debauchee,” he whispered. “Perhaps there will be wine at dinner, and we can get you  _ actually _ tipsy, hm? You’re ever so cuddly when you’ve been drinking.”

Tony groaned and flopped his head onto Loki’s shoulder as they walked. “So cruel to me,” he complained. “I am never going to live that down, am I?”

Loki grinned down at him. “Never.”

**~*~**

_ ‘Jarvis – _

_ Thank you for informing me of my father’s demise. I will not be returning to Iron Reach for the funeral. Please see to it that he is burnt on the pyre and not placed in mother’s crypt. _

_ I would ask you to please tell me the details of what has happened, and how it came to pass that my father has died. I know he was not sick or ailing in any way. _

_ The messenger will wait until your reply has been written so we may receive it quickly. Please do not worry for yours, or Ana’s future. I have plans for the Manor, and the two of you and all the rest of the staff will be most pleased, I believe. _

_ I will not take your home from you.  _

_ Please trust me. _

_ -Anthony _

**~*~**

Loki stood beside Anthony at the window and watched as Hogun rode away, his stallion Sleipnir already almost out of sight of the castle gates. Anthony’s hand was firmly gripping his, and Loki could feel the tension that was practically rolling off the smaller man’s entire body.

“Relax darling,” he kept his voice quiet and calm, hoping to pass some of it to Anthony. “Hogun is our best, and Sleipnir is our fastest horse. If he does not stop, he will reach the Manor by sunup tomorrow.” Anthony just nodded and sighed, watching closely as the darkness swallowed horse and rider both. It was still hours before dawn, but when Hogun had been informed of the urgency of his task, he’d decided that leaving before the sun rose would be best.

“Can we go back to bed for a while?” Anthony’s voice was small and tired, and Loki’s heart clenched at the sound of it. He made a soft noise in agreement and led them back into the bedroom, tucking Anthony up under their blankets and sliding in behind him. His husband grabbed at his arms and pulled them around himself, and Anthony wiggled his hips back so their bodies were pressed together from toe to tip.

Loki chuckled. “Comfortable, my darling?” Anthony hummed and nodded. “Do you wish to sleep or simply rest a while?”

“Sleep.”  

Loki adjusted his arms a little and kissed the back of Anthony’s neck as he snuffled into the pillows and fell back asleep. Sleep wasn’t as easy for him to get back to once he was awake, so Loki focused on Anthony’s slow and steady breathing, using it to lull himself back to sleep.

The sun still hadn’t fully risen when he was jolted awake again. He lay there for a moment, confused about what had woken him up, when Anthony gave a violent twitch in his arms.

“Darling?”

Anthony groaned and shifted, pressing his face into the pillows as he twitched and moved again. Loki frowned and pulled him in closer, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Anthony’s neck and shoulder. Anthony was whimpering now, his hands coming up to scratch at his chest.  _ Nightmare _ , Loki realized. One about the ‘star’ in his chest again.

He gently shook the shoulder that was digging into his chest. “Anthony, darling, wake up.”

Nothing. Anthony’s struggles increased and his fingernails were tearing through the thin fabric of his nightshirt, desperately trying to get to his chest.

“Out, out, out! Get it out! The  _ star is burning me _ !”

Gods be damned, what in the hells was this star was that he dreamt of so constantly?

“Anthony, there is no star,” he tried again, and pressed his hands against Anthony’s, trying to stop the frantic clawing motions. He felt it then as Anthony came suddenly and completely awake; he hands fell still and he was gasping in great ragged breaths as he pushed his body back into Loki’s as hard as he could.

“L-L-Lo…” his voice was hoarse and rough sounding, and Loki wanted nothing more than to somehow soothe it for him. “It… it  _ burns _ me… the star. The star is-is-is- ”

He rolled over and pressed his face hard into Loki’s neck, bringing his arms up between them to clutch at his shirt. Loki held him tightly and peppered gentle kisses over his head.

“Hush my darling, there is no star, nothing is burning you.”

“Th-th-the  _ star _ ,” Anthony moaned. “Loki…”

“I promise that there is nothing there.”

“But I can feel it…”

Loki brought his hand up to press against Anthony’s chest gently, and curled his fingers over the fabric. “There is nothing there, darling. Nothing except your heart. And I will protect that if you let me. Nothing will hurt you as long as I’m around to stop it.  _ Nothing _ .”

Anthony heaved a huge, shuddering sigh and went limp against him. “Keep me safe, Loki,” he whispered, and kissed the underside of Loki’s jaw softly. “P- _ please _ .”

“Always, darling.”

They lay quietly together after that, neither one of them falling back asleep, but Anthony seemed calm and content to just lay curled up while the sun rose, his fingers tracing idle patterns in Loki’s shirt and on his chest. 

Loki’s mind was in chaos though. He’d just promised to guard the man’s heart  _ always _ . Would Anthony take that as a declaration of feelings in any way? Had he  _ meant _ for it to be taken so? There were many, many things that Loki knew. He was very well educated and had furthered his education himself throughout his life. He knew plants and their properties, he knew how to sail, how to fight, how to use crystals and channel their power in healing.

But he was not well versed in emotion. Especially not his own. The last time he’d allowed himself to feel freely, to let his heart become the property of another, he’d ended up broken hearted and alone, struggling with the truth of his birth and the identity of who he really was. He wasn’t a blood born Asgeir, but he’d been raised to believe he was. Thor was his brother in everyway that was important. They’d fought together, played together and grown up together. There was no bond in his life that he felt as strongly as he did with his brother.

At least, he’d thought there wasn’t. But now, when he looked deep within himself he couldn’t lie. He could see the small cracks and blemishes that Sigyn had left behind in his heart and see the gold that filled them now. Anthony was that gold. He had filled in the cracks and the broken parts of Loki’s heart and his very  _ being _ faster than Loki had realized. Faster than he was comfortable to admit, if he was being honest with himself.

Loki pushed his nose into the thick brown curls brushing his chin and took a deep breath to steady himself. He wasn’t ready, not yet, to tell Anthony that he had feelings for him now. He still wasn’t entirely sure himself what those feelings were yet.

_ ‘D’you think… c’n you love me one day, Loki? I think I… you’re it f’r me…’ _ The words that Anthony had mumbled to him while he was drunk drifted through his mind and he sighed quietly. Anthony’s heart was his, he knew that. He knew that his husband had fallen almost immediately in love with him, and he’d been unkind enough at first to throw it back at him. But now, it seemed almost like a weight on his shoulders that Anthony had feelings of that depth, and he still couldn’t put a name to his own. It was childish and beneath him.

When he’d fallen for Sigyn, he’d fallen so hard and so fast – and thought that she had too – that they had wasted no time at all in declaring one another each other’s true love, their only love. But he couldn’t remember if he’d ever actually said the words  _ I love you _ to her. They’d shared so many firsts together that summer, but he couldn’t recall if he’d said that. He’d said it before, of course. To Frigga, to Odin, to Thor…

But not to Sigyn.

Nor to any other lover he’d taken since. Loki smiled into Anthony’s hair then. It seemed like his husband would get at least one first out of him after all. Eventually.

Anthony was reluctant to be far from his side for the rest of the day, choosing to follow him as he went about his day instead. They checked on the gardens, and visited the cook – who gave Anthony an enormous plate of sweet breads to take back to their room for afternoon tea – and wandered about. Anthony didn’t bring up his nightmare, and Loki didn’t ask. He knew Anthony well enough at this point to know that if he wished to talk about it, he would bring it up in conversation when he was ready. So they walked and they spoke of lighter things, Howard Stark never being one of them.

His death however, was something that they couldn’t avoid forever. Hogun returned early the next day, dirty and exhausted with a thick envelope in his hand.

Anthony took it with trembling hands and followed Thor, Natasha and Loki back to Odin’s study. Frigga and Odin were already there, quietly working their way through the taxes to be collected and stocks to be replenished once the harbour opened again. They both pushed aside their tasks when the three of them walked in with Anthony’s letter however.

“You’ve received your reply then, son?” Odin’s voice was kind, and Loki gave him a grateful look for it. For all that the King could be bad-tempered to almost everyone he’d made a point to be kind to Anthony. And it showed now in how Anthony held himself before him - back straight and chin high as he nodded, the trembling in his hands gone.

“I have, sir. I thought perhaps to simply read it aloud, or for Thor or Loki to do so? It would save us time,” he said quietly, and Thor agreed.

“Aye, it would be most expedient in regards to deciding what shall be done about it.”

“Done about it?”

Loki took in the wide-eyed expression of confusion on Anthony’s face and realised that he had no idea they meant to investigate. Thor frowned at him as he took his seat beside Frigga, Natasha settling on the chair beside them, and Loki tugged Anthony over to where they would sit on the couch again.

“Of course, kitten,” Thor’s voice was confused. “Why would we not investigate this matter?”

“Because my father was a wretch who got what was coming to him?”

Odin chuckled at that, and picked up his ever-present tumbler of liquor. “Aye, true though that may be my lad, we still cannot allow the murder of a noble to go without investigation.” He gestured to the letter in Anthony’s hands. “Assuming, of course, that he has indeed been slain.”

Anthony passed the envelope to Loki and folded his hands in his lap. “I don’t want to read it,” he whispered, and looked up at Loki with a pleading expression on his face. “Please, will you read it for me?” Loki nodded, and broke the wax seal on the envelope to unfold the letter inside. He cleared his throat and began to read.

_ “Sir Anthony, _

_ My dear boy I am so glad to hear you are well. It is wonderful of you to think of us here at the Manor at a time like this. Master Hogun is a most wonderful gentleman, and has been given our very best guest quarters to rest in while we compose this reply to you. _

_ Please rest assured that we would never have defiled your beloved mother’s crypt with the Lord’s remains, sir. At the time you are reading this, he will have long since burnt to ashes and been scattered to the winds. The Great Halls of Valhalla are not meant for men like him. _

_ In regards to your enquiry about the manner of his death. My Lord, I beg of you. Let your husband and his family keep you safe there in Aysgarth. Do  _ _ not _ _ attempt to come back here, for any reason. We have seen many men under the thumb of the men your father was dealing with around, and we believe they have been searching for you. _ __

_ Your father was involved in many black market trade deals, of this I know you have some knowledge, but I fear that you have remained blissfully unaware of the extent to which he had fallen. Your father’s oldest trade partner is a man called Obadiah. They traded mostly in imported spices, liquors and fabrics at first. Nothing more sinister than most nobles. But Lord Stark realised that there was a more lucrative trade industry blossoming under his nose, and wanted to be a part of it. _

_ I speak of human trade, sir. Your father was involved in the theft and sale of many young people to depraved men and women along the coast, and was responsible for ‘replenishing the stock’ of many brothels. They took those too young to remember their family names, or to recall where they were taken from. They took from the streets and occasionally helped a bastard child to disappear. _

_ When your father was killed, he was invoking his rights of prima nocta in a small village. The woman he was with is the one we believe to be responsible. _

_ Your father was about to sign a new agreement with people who have been working against Obadiah for years. They are, if rumour is to be believed, more bloodthirsty than he is and less inclined to ensure that the people they are taking will not be missed. I cannot begin to guess as to why your father would be agreeing to trade with them behind Obadiah’s back, but perhaps it will all come to light eventually. _

_ He was found with a knife in his back, sir. _

_ My dear lad, please. Stay safe. Do not leave the castle. Not until whatever manoeuvrings your father was attempting to play have come to fruition in someway or simply been dissolved with his death. No matter the rumours or gossip that reaches you - do not leave. _

_ Please my Lord, take care. _

_ Always your most faithful servant, _

_ Jarvis. _

_ PS – Ana would like me to inform you that she will be ready with open arms to have you and your husband to visit when it is safe to do so. We do miss you, Anthony.” _

There was a troubled silence in the room as Loki refolded the letter and stood to place it on Odin’s desk, broken by Thor getting abruptly to his feet.

“By the  _ Gods _ ! Did the man have no soul?”

Anthony shifted uncomfortably, his face pale and eyes wide, and Loki moved back to his seat beside him, taking his hand and rubbing a soothing thumb over his knuckles.

“Apparently not,” Natasha said, her voice ice-cold and her eyes glaring daggers at the letter on Odin’s desk. Frigga nodded her agreement, and Thor paused in his agitated pacing to rest a hand on her shoulder.

“Aye well, the world is better for his loss.” There were murmured sounds of agreement from the rest of the room at that.

“S-so, um, what now?” Anthony asked quietly. “W-w-what happens now?”

Frigga stood and straightened the heavy skirts of her dress, the firelight reflecting off the gold threads along the hem. Loki smiled at her as she stood straight and tall, her golden hair that was the exact same shade as Thor’s almost blending in with her crown as she adjusted it’s fit on her head. She was everything that a Queen should be. She was strong and powerful, and carried herself with a grace and poise that he’d seen many young noble girls attempt to emulate over the years. And he watched now as she pulled all of that over herself like a cloak.

“We’re going to go about with our lives,” she said firmly. “Tony, my sweet boy, I’m afraid that until we can be certain that it’s safe for you, I will have to ask that you stay within the castle and it’s grounds for now. Whoever these people are that your father has been dealing with sound like they would have no hesitation in harming you.”

“Shall I continue to send the invites out for the Spring Ball, Frigga?” Natasha asked. “Or are we going to forgo that this year?”

“Nonsense,” Frigga said, waving a hand about cheerfully. “I will not allow a dead man’s folly to ruin my Spring celebrations. We shall just have extra protection on guard whilst we enjoy it. The knights can dress as nobility and mingle amongst the crowd. We shall be fine.”

So they continued with the planning. The servants that had gone elsewhere for the winter months came back, and Anthony took his time getting to know them over the weeks that followed. He was so genuinely interested in knowing their names, where they were from, did they have children, were they happy here, that he endeared himself to them with very little effort. Loki couldn’t help but laugh when Anthony was surprised by the sudden influx of fresh flowers, the extra soaps and cakes left about their rooms.

“You’ve made them love you, darling,” he laughed when Anthony sat gaping at the absolute  _ pile _ of lemon cakes on their breakfast tray one morning. “They’re spoiling you.”

“B-but I didn’t  _ do _ anything!”

Loki shook his head and kissed Anthony softly. “You took the time to get to know them. Very, very few people in their lives have done that.” He took in the faint flush on Anthony’s cheeks as he sat down to read and sip his coffee, and felt a sense of pride that this remarkable human was  _ his _ husband.

There was a constant flurry of activity in the last few days leading up to the Spring Ball. Flowers were picked and woven into wreaths and bouquets, the hedges were trimmed back into their shapes and the trees strung with festive flags and bunting. The beeswax candles were replenished and replaced the utilitarian plain ones used during winter, and the candelabras and sconces waxed and polished to look like new. The fireplaces were swept and covered until they were needed again, the dust covers in the ballrooms removed and Anthony watched as the castle came to life around him with wide eyes and an awed expression.

Loki was content to let him wander about and help where he wanted. He had his own duties to attend to, and knowing that Anthony was constantly with either Thor, Natasha or Frigga when he was unable to be there went a long way to making them all feel like the threat of Howard’s scorned trade partners was no longer lingering over their heads.

It made them complacent, but Loki was confident that they were safe and protected. The night of the Spring Ball drew closer, and the castle was a constant hive of commotion. Servants came and went with armfuls of flowers and linens, Frigga usually following behind them barking instructions. Natasha was often found in the main halls directing the placement of vases and trinkets, and the setting up of the Springtime altar at the top of the Great hall’s altar platform.

The evening of the Ball was frantic for them all. Guests were arriving by the carriage full, the servants were rushing to and fro with drinks and food, the knights were in their finest and mingling amongst the gathered nobility to keep guard and Anthony was beside him, bowing and greeting the visiting dignitaries with grace and ease. Loki had almost choked on his wine when Anthony showed him his outfit for the evening – a pale white silk shirt, tight black trousers and boots and a beautiful green vest overtop, embroidered with peonies and daisies in a subtle grey thread and his golden circlet in place on his head.

“Beautiful,” he managed eventually, and Anthony had blushed that wonderful shade of pink all the way to the tips of his ears, and a mumbled thanks had been all the reason Loki needed to kiss him. Loki had dressed himself similarly, but where Anthony wore gold, he wore silver and blue in place of green.

They paused to talk with a visitor from across the Northern Seas, and his tales of life on the seas enraptured Anthony, and Loki had to almost physically drag him away after almost an hour.

“ _ Pirates _ Loki! Real, honest to goodness pirates!” he exclaimed, a far off look in his eyes. “Could you  _ imagine _ the adventure?”

“I rather think you’re imagining it quite well enough, darling,” he teased him gently, and steered them to where Natasha and Thor were dancing. “Would you join me for a dance?”

Anthony’s face lit up as he nodded, and they stepped together into the swirling crowd of people, letting the music carry them away for a while. Loki was mesmerised by the way the candlelight flickered over Anthony’s face and eyes as he grinned and laughed in Loki’s arms. Thor asked to cut in, and led Anthony off in a jig so energetic that Loki and Natasha felt exhausted simply watching them. Natasha had leant in and whispered to Loki that Thor had already had a pint and a half of ale before they arrived to settle his nerves. Loki grinned down at her, and privately planned to ensure that he had the knights go through their practises underneath Thor’s windows tomorrow morning. When Anthony begged for a break they made their way to the table of drinks and stood to speak with Frigga and Odin. Loki pressed a goblet of cold, sweet wine into his husband’s hand and took one for himself.

Frigga already had a goblet in her hand, and Odin was laughing loudly at some ribald joke one of the knights had told. Loki heard Anthony snickering beside him, and turned to see Clint winking at him as he snuck back into the crowd. Rolling his eyes, Loki allowed his gaze to wander again. He’d just lifted his goblet to take a much-needed sip when there was an odd choking noise beside him and Frigga’s goblet smashed onto the floor at his feet. Immediately he spun to check on his mother and was terrified to see her face slowly turning blue as she struggled to breathe, her hands clawing frantically at her throat.

“Mother!” He let go his own goblet and moved to grab her hands from her throat, gripping them tightly within his own. “A healer! Someone fetch the healers!  _ THOR _ !”

The music fell silent and the crowds parted to make way for the Crown Prince as he barrelled through them to get to his mother. Odin was at her other side, holding her up and bellowing for the guards to clear the way to their chambers immediately. The servants were hurrying to do as they’d been told and he could faintly hear Anthony giving directions to the guests to move and empty their glasses straight away if they’d taken them from the same table as the Queen.

Loki focused all his attention on his mother, working to get the buttons on her high cut neckline undone so she could draw an easier breath, and Natasha was behind her in an instant, slitting the ties of both dress and corset with a knife to ease the pressure on her lungs. Frigga’s lips were blue and her eyes wide with fear, and Loki felt tears in his own eyes at the sight.

“I won’t let this take you, Mother,” he swore. “I won’t!” She gasped again, and Loki flinched as her eyes rolled back in her head. “No, no,  _ no _ !” Thor swept her up and into his arms, running from the room with Loki on his heels and Natasha at their side.

“Lay her on the bed, now!” Loki directed as they entered their parent’s chambers. He moved quickly to the chest where Frigga stored her healing items and pulled the small box of crystals from their velvet wrappings, and spun to face the bed, frustrated at the small crowd of maids still dithering there. “Move!  _ Now! _ ”

Gently, so very gently, he placed his head on her chest and was instantly relieved to hear the faint thumping of her heart. He took the largest of the clear quartz that Healer Cho had sent over to them and placed it on the bed beside her.

“If you are not family, out,” he said quietly. “I need to remove her dress and extract the poison. I cannot be interrupted.” The servants bobbed their heads and scurried out, the door closing behind them. Natasha and Thor helped Loki to ease Frigga out of her dress, laying her flat on the bed in just her shift, as Odin paced by the door, muttering under his breath.

Loki ignored him and took a deep, steadying breath. He centred himself as Cho had taught him, visualising the pathways of his sense of self and directed all his focus onto the strand of bright pink he associated with healing. Carefully placing the quartz onto Frigga’s stomach, he rested his hands on it and breathed in and out. He breathed the pink into the stone, focusing its direction into his mother, and as he breathed out he  _ pulled _ . The thick, viscous strands of black ink that pooled in the bottom of the crystal were growing with each breath, with each pull.

Time fell away, and Loki lost himself in the task of breathing  _ in _ the pink and breathing  _ out _ to pull the poison. It was hours later when he finally felt the last of the thick strands loosen their grip and pull free. The quartz was almost completely black and he was exhausted. Frigga was breathing easily now, though she was deathly pale and still.  A glance around the room showed that Natasha had dozed off at some point on Thor’s shoulder as he sat in the armchair by the bedside, and Odin was sitting at Frigga’s feet, one hand stroking lightly over her ankle.

“Is it done?” The King asked quietly, and heaved a sigh of relief when Loki simply nodded. He moved the crystal and stepped away, nearly falling as he did, but staggering to a chair and collapsing gratefully into it.

“It’s done,” he replied, his voice hoarse and his throat dry. “She just needs to rest now.”

“Thank you, my son. Without you…” Odin trailed off and Loki nodded again. There were no words needed. He looked about the room again and frowned.

“Where is Anthony?”

**~*~**


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pirates and plots, oh my!

**~*~**

Tony watched in horror as Thor swept Frigga off her feet and ran from the hall. He moved to follow, but a grip on his elbow held him in place. He looked over at who would dare to lay a hand on him, and his eyes widened as he saw the merchant from earlier.

“Can ye help me, lad? I’ve lost my way in the commotion,” he said and gestured at the gathered crowds as they began to move in the direction of the doors. “I canna remember where I’ve come in from.”

“Oh, o-of course,” Tony said and tried to shift his elbow free, but the man simply tightened his grip.

“Now now, m’lord,” he whispered and Tony felt a cold pit form in his stomach at the tone in his voice, every instinct he had telling him to  _ run _ . “Wouldn’t do now to make a scene, ya follow me? Lets just make our way over to that door there nice an’ easy an’ you can get through all of this withou’ a knife in yer guts, aye?”

Tony swallowed and nodded. He couldn’t remember why he’d trusted this man earlier, but he’d been passing himself off as an educated merchant. And Tony had been so enthralled by his tales of meeting pirates on the open seas, he’d not stopped to realise that  _ he _ had been the pirate.

“O-okay,” he breathed not daring to speak any louder. The man’s grip on his elbow tightened again in warning and he began to lead Tony away to the small side door that opened out directly into the castle grounds.

_ This is bad, this is so bad. Oh Gods, I’m going to be killed. _ Tony’s thoughts were in a panic as he was led out into the gardens and beyond the lights of the castle.

“Jus’ keep walkin’ lad, nice and easy now,” the pirate – for that is so obviously what he was – said in low voice, and Tony felt as something sharp pressed against his side through the fabric of his clothes. “Ain’t nobody gotta get hurt here. ‘specially not a pretty lil’ thing like you, aye?”

Tony let the man lead him out into the darkness. He stumbled over a rock or something that he couldn’t see and cried out quietly as it wrenched his ankle and left him sprawled on the ground. The man yanked him up to his feet by the collar of his shirt and backhanded him hard across the face, keeping the grip on his collar so Tony wouldn’t fall again. He gasped in pain and the man shook him roughly.

“Ye shut yer Gods be damned mouth you little twit or I will give ya somethin’ to fuckin’ cry about, we understan’ one another?” Tony gave a frightened nod and the man shoved him away, ignoring the way Tony stumbled as his wrenched ankle protested his body weight. The man watched him as Tony hobbled along beside him and the point of the knife in his side never let up.

They reached wherever it was that they were going a few moments later, and Tony heaved a huge sigh of relief when the pirate shoved him to sit on a bench.

“Sit. Shut up.” Tony agreed quietly, and waited til the man had disappeared into the shadows, the faint moonlight that was managing to get through the thick tree branches barely enough to illuminate his skin. He brought a hand up to probe gently at the side of his face that the pirate had hit, and winced when he felt the cut on his cheekbone. He dropped his hand and fidgeted with his wedding band as he thought.

He’d been taken, obviously. The only thing that was left for him to find out was who exactly had taken him. Tony wasn’t stupid, he was almost completely certain that it was someone to do with Howard. But who? Someone working with this Obadiah man? Or someone from the people that he was going to be trading with? Tony rubbed his eyes and gave his ankle an experimental little roll, and bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying out in pain. He could feel the swelling pressing against his boot and sighed again. 

He could hear voices somewhere behind him in the darkness, and could make out the sound of the voice of the man who had taken him. Whoever he was, he was arguing with someone else judging from the tone of his voice. Tony wondered if maybe he could escape if he was able to do it quietly. He stood quietly; biting his tongue to keep down any sounds of pain, and took a tentative step forward. He was about to take another, see if he could balance his weight on his ankle after all, when he heard someone clear their throat roughly behind him.

“I would not do that if I were you, Lord Stark.” Tony stiffened and turned carefully to look. It was too dark to make out the details of their face, but he could see the faint glint of light off a golden tooth. “It would displease our boss something fierce if you were dead on arrival after all.”

Tony swallowed hard and nodded his head. “Wh-wh-who is it th-that you’re taking m-m-m-me to?”

Tony saw the light hit more teeth as the man’s lips stretched in a cruel grin. “Now, that’d just spoil the fun, wouldn’t it pet?”

There was a moment where Tony almost agreed with him out of sheer panic, but the urge to run was suddenly overwhelming and he spun and tried to take off. He got no further than three painfully unsteady steps before there was a blinding flash of pain across the back of his head and the world went dark.

**~*~**

“You can’t  _ find _ him? Why ever not!” Thor’s voice was loud, too loud. Loki groaned and pulled his pillow back over his head. He’d spent all his energy saving his mother the day before and he was exhausted still, his head throbbed and his stomach felt hot and sick.

“I’m terribly sorry, milord. But Master Anthony is nowhere to be found in the castle!” the maid sounded upset and terrified and Loki suddenly felt wide-awake. He sat up abruptly and flung the pillow to the side staring at the frightened maid.

“What do you do you mean, he’s nowhere in the castle?” He clenched his fists in the bedsheets and felt the familiar feeling of his wedding band pressing against his finger.

“He, um, he disappeared at some point during the commotion last night, Sir,” she said softly, her eyes wide and scared. “The other guests saw him talking with the merchant man from the North again and leading him out into the gardens. But no one has seen him since!”

Loki’s stomach made a weird swooping sensation and his head spun. “He’s… he’s missing?”

She nodded and wrung her hands anxiously in front of her. Loki waved a hand to dismiss her and she bobbed a curtsey before scurrying out of the room and closing the door gently behind her. Loki looked over at where his mother still slept on the bed beside him, and swung his legs over the edge of the lounge they’d laid him out on to sleep.

_ Missing _ . Anthony was  _ missing _ .

No. Anthony had been  _ taken. _ Someone had dared to take his husband. Some Gods be damned merchant from across the North Sea had dared to lay a hand on his husband and take him!

Thor was growling threats and stomping about the room, Natasha silent and pensive in the armchair by the bedroom door. Loki stared at her a moment, her green eyes meeting his and he saw the spark of  _ fury _ in them that he knew must be reflected in his own. She was pale, more so than she usually was, but he could see that it wasn’t from exhaustion as his was. Hers was rage. Her whole being seemed to vibrate with it.

“We must saddle the horses immediately and follow the trail of the scum who has dared to take our Tony!” Thor’s fist connected harshly with the stone wall and Loki winced in sympathy as the skin along his knuckles split. Thor didn’t seem to notice at all, scraping his fist along as he scowled at the door. “We cannot afford any more delay!”

“Thor.” Natasha’s voice was quiet and tight with her anger but it was enough to get through to him. He slumped, his shoulders hunched and he leant heavily against the wall he’d just punched. “We cannot just take off harebrained and without a single idea of where to go. It does Tony no good, and will only add to the length of his captivity,” she said. “There will be a trail. I will send Clint and Coulson. They’re the best; this is what they trained for in Rutherglenn. Trust in them, my love. They will give us our direction and then we will bring Tony home.”

“Natasha,” Loki whispered, his voice felt like it was stuck in his throat and he cleared it to try and force the words out easier. It didn’t help. “I want… I won’t let them have my husband. Go now. Send them now.” 

She nodded once at him, and stood. “Consider it done, Loki.” She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss Thor’s cheek and left the room. Loki sagged down into the lounge and hung his head in his hands.

“My Gods,” he breathed. “We thought he was safe inside the castle.” Loki flinched as Thor’s hand landed heavily on his shoulder and squeezed it tightly.

“Do not blame yourself, brother,” he said quietly, and his voice sounded as wrecked as Loki’s. “We all thought the same. It was… an oversight on our behalf to assume the party was safe for him to attend.”

“It was though. It was safe until he was left alone. We left him behind and he was snatched from beneath our noses.”

Thor’s hand on his shoulder tightened for a moment and he sighed heavily. “Aye well, there’s nothing to be done for it now. Blaming ourselves does us no good. Clint and Coulson are the very best. They will find our wayward kitten, and then we will bring him home.” Thor moved his hand to rest against the side of Loki’s neck as he brushed their foreheads together. “Try to rest, Loki. You will have your love back in your arms soon.”

Thor let go of him, and sat down in the chair beside Frigga’s bed, taking her pale hand in his and gently tracing over her knuckles.

“She will wake soon, brother,” Loki reassured him. “I pulled all the poison. Don’t worry.” Thor gave him a tired smile and Loki sighed, letting himself fall back onto the lounge. He pulled the blankets up and tried to get comfortable. But no matter how much he tossed and turned or pulled his pillow around, he found it impossible to settle. His arms were empty, and there was a terrible pain in his chest. He missed Anthony terribly. 

He’d never thought that his very sense of self would ever become so dependent on another person’s presence that he would find it so difficult to do something as simple as falling asleep. But Anthony had worked his way in under Loki’s skin. He was a part of him now, somehow. And now he just felt like he was missing something, like something vital to him as a person was gone. He gave a frustrated groan and rolled over again to bury his face into the back of the lounge, wrapping his arms around a pillow and focusing on nothing but the sound of Thor’s steady breaths behind him.

When he opened his eyes next, the room was darker and the candles were lit. He blinked the last traces of sleep out of his eyes as he sat up slowly, and smiled at what he saw. Frigga was sitting up, a cup of tea held in her hands and a tired smile on her face.

“Oh my clever, clever boy. Thank you.” Loki stumbled off the couch and approached her slowly, letting himself fall the last step so he landed with his head buried in her lap and his body sprawled awkwardly across the side of the bed.

“Mother,” he whispered. “Oh thank the Gods.” There was a soft clinking noise and then Frigga’s fingers were deftly combing through his hair, easing out the tangles and smoothing the loose curls that had formed through the night.

“I am well, little dove. Don’t fret,” her voice was soft and soothing, and Loki felt some of the tension in his shoulders ease a little at the sound. “I heard about Tony. We will get him back to you. You have my word, Loki.”

Loki shuddered and sighed, twisting himself further onto the bed and into his mother’s embrace. She didn’t say anything else, just kept smoothing and detangling his hair and Loki let himself drift back to sleep.

**~*~**

Tony came to slowly, his head pounding and his mouth cotton dry. He felt nauseous and dizzy, and didn’t dare try to lift his head from where it was. He was laying on a hard wooden floor that felt as though it was pitching beneath him. He took a moment to breathe slowly and try to fight down the hot flashes of nausea rolling over him, and realised as the dizziness receded a little that the floor  _ was _ pitching beneath him. He could smell salt, sweat and something else…

_ Oh Gods. It’s the ocean. I’m on the ocean. _

He retched then, a vicious dry heaving that made his head pound even more and he pressed it against the floor to try and soothe the pain. He tried to slow his suddenly frantic breathing and stop the rushing sound in his ears.  _ Panic, I’m panicking. _ He thunked his forehead against the floor, and held still. Slowly the rushing faded and the pounding in his head became less. Tony lifted his head and sat up carefully.

Wherever he was being held was nothing remarkable. There were wooden walls on three sides of him and metal bars in front of him, a gate held closed with a sturdy looking lock. He’d been stripped of his crown and cloak, but they’d left his wedding band, and Tony was ridiculously grateful for that. His boots were chafing his feet through the silk stockings he wore - though his ankle was blessedly better -  and he grumbled irritably under breath a moment before sighing.

There was a bucket in one corner of the cell, and Tony shuddered at the knowledge of what  _ that _ was for.  

_ Alright. I’ve been kidnapped by pirates. _ The thought didn’t terrify him as much as he thought it should, and Tony wondered if maybe his mind was in shock. He didn’t get long to wonder though, as there was a loud shout from somewhere above him and the ship lurched suddenly and Tony went flying into the bars.

“Ow,” he breathed, and prodded carefully at the lip that had split open on contact with the bars. “What the - ” The ship gave another hard lurch and Tony grabbed the bars to keep his feet steady this time.

“What’s the matter pet? Canna keep yer feet about ya?”

Tony turned his head and glared at the man leaning against the wall near his cell. “You!” he spat and shoved himself away from the bars, ignoring the way the floor seemed to be rolling beneath his feet. “Take me home! Now!”

The man smirked at him and tipped his head to stare. “Ya lose that damned stutter when yer angry, dontcha?”

Tony hissed at him, and the man laughed. “Yer a feisty little thing, aintcha. Boss is gonna have his hands full breakin’ your spirit.”

That made Tony stop a moment. “Breaking me?” The man nodded and spat a gob of… something at the door of Tony’s cell.

“Aw pet. Somethin’ as pretty as you are? Even if ya have been lettin’ Prince Loki have ya for months now, he’s still gonna wanna putcha where you belong. On yer knees in front of him while he makes the Prince watch.” He laughed, and Tony felt the nausea make an abrupt comeback. “Your stupid  _ father - _ ” he sneered the word and moved to stand closer to the cell “ – is gonna regret betrayin’ us.”

_ They don’t know he’s dead,  _ Tony realised immediately.  _ I can use this. _

“He won’t pay you a ransom. Starks don’t do that.”

The man shrugged and walked away. “Won’t matter in the end,” he said over his shoulder. “Ya gonna be dead either way.” He paused then and gave Tony a nasty grin before he turned and started walking again. “You and that damned Knight Commander of yours.”

There was a loud clanging noise from above him like a door slamming shut, and Tony was alone again. He stumbled to the back of the cell and sank down against the wall.  _ My knight? Oh Gods… James. They mean Rhodey.  _

He put his aching head in his hands and struggled not to panic again. Loki would find him. They couldn’t risk him being too badly hurt or they knew Howard wouldn’t give them whatever they wanted. Which was obviously the Iron Reach lands, because they somehow didn’t know he was dead. Which meant that something had gone wrong with the murder. Had they maybe apprehended the murderer after Jarvis wrote his letter?

Gods but he just wanted to go home. And home was the opposite direction of Iron Reach, if that is actually where they were taking him. Home was Aysgarth and the family he had there. And what of Frigga? Was she…  _ No. _ Tony gripped his hair and pulled it hard, trying desperately to focus. Frigga would be fine. Loki knew crystal healing, he would save her. He would. 

Frigga  _was not dead._

Loki…  Home was  _ Loki _ .

“Loki,” he whispered. “Please find me.” The ship lurched again, and Tony buried his head in his arms and tried to stay still. “ _ Please _ .”

**~*~**

Loki was certain that his tenuous grip on his sanity was slipping. Anthony had been taken from him almost a week ago, and Clint and Coulson had yet to find him. He’d been led away from the party while they were distracted with Frigga’s poisoning, which had been quite a clever plan on their behalf, and then just… disappeared. They’d found traces of where he’d been in the gardens – drops of blood that Loki had panicked over until Clint pointed out there wasn’t enough there to point to anything worse than maybe a split lip – and his silk handkerchief under a stone bench near the orchards.

But since then… nothing.

Clint and Coulson had left on horseback, and returned a few days ago with empty hands and concerned faces. Anthony had been seen only once, being dragged unconscious aboard a ship without a name or flag in the harbour. The obvious conclusion there had been pirates. Hogun had been dispatched to Iron Reach once again, but had returned with a letter from Jarvis stating that there had been no sign of Anthony or Obadiah anywhere near the Manor or in the lands. It seemed as if Obadiah had gone to ground somewhere, and simply taken Anthony with him.

Jarvis’ letter informed them that they had a witness to the murder. Anthony’s Knight Commander, a James Rhodes, had been the one to find Howard, but he’d had to flee the lands and hide. The assassin was someone who’d been able to get their hands on a knife that James had thought he’d lost on the journey to deliver Anthony to them. Of course, regardless of his position as Knight Commander, the murder of a Duke was not something that could be ignored. A warrant for his arrest had been put out, and Rhodes had disappeared. Tony’s other knights were panicked, but Jarvis mentioned that a Sir Steven was particularly frantic. 

Rhodes had been the easiest to set up to take the fall for the crime however, because he’d often been the only one to speak out against Howard in Anthony’s defence. He’d been the only one to argue against Howard sending Anthony alone to Aysgarth and had almost considered going against his orders and staying on afterwards. But the Duke’s orders overrode Anthony’s, and he was no longer Anthony’s knight once he was wed. Rhodes was loyal though, and no one truly believed him to be guilty.

So now Loki was left to wait and hope that someone, somewhere would see the ship that had his Anthony on board and that they were able to catch up to it in time – both before something happened to Anthony or before the Summer Storms began and the access to the Great Seas was cut off for months. 

He pulled the wedding cloak closer to him and buried his face in it, trying to catch a hint of his husbands scent. The faint trace of it that lingered in the fabric went a long way to help soothe his mind, and Loki tried to calm his breathing. He was panicking again; worrying that Anthony would be lost to him. He knew that they had gotten off to a Gods awful start, but they had worked hard and he had  _ tried _ so hard to make Anthony happy. And then somewhere along the line, he realised that he’d been happy too.

Happier than he’d ever been. Happier than he had ever imagined that he would be.

Loki sighed and pulled the cloak more firmly around him as he rolled over onto Anthony’s side of their bed and pressed his face into his pillows. Surrounding himself with as much of his missing husband as he could was soothing and torturous. He put his hand under the pillow to shift it around and his fingers brushed against something hard and cool. Curious, he pulled it out and stared down in surprise at the book in his hands.

_ The Princess Bride. _

Anthony’s favourite book.

Loki sat up and drew the cloak around his shoulders, tucking himself in amongst the fabric and settling against the pillows. He turned the book over in his hands to examine it, and flicked through the pages. A small slip of paper fluttered out onto his lap and he picked it up.

_ Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. _

Loki felt something in his stomach clench as he read that. Was this what Anthony thought? That life was nothing but pain? He knew some of the details of Anthony’s childhood – raised in total seclusion after the Duchess had died, no one to talk with or play with except the serving staff and a father who didn’t care for him – but he hadn’t realized that Anthony still felt so alone. Had he not been as happy here as they’d thought him to be?

Loki sighed again and flopped back against the pillows. He replaced the paper in the book and opened the front cover.

_ For my darling boy, _

_ Tony, one day you’ll find your Buttercup, my sweet bambino. _

_ Love, Mama. _

He closed the book and set it gently on the nightstand. Anthony had made his feelings about reading it together clear, and he wasn’t ready to read it alone yet. Instead, he made himself comfortable as he could and tried to get some rest.

**~*~**

It was cold. The wind was biting at him and he could see the frost on the ground, but where she stood was warmth and light. He was trapped in the cold, in the dark. 

He was alone.

He shivered and drew the flimsy fabric of his cloak around his shoulders further and stared up at the emotionless face of the woman in front of him.

_ “Please…” _ his voice was quiet and his eyes burned with unshed tears.  _ “Please, don’t - ” _

_ “You are not wanted here any longer.” _ He bit his lip and let his gaze fall to the snowy ground beneath their feet.  _ “There is no need for us to continue this charade.” _

_ “No, I… I’m your  _ son _.” _

Frigga raised a single well-manicured brow at him and he could see the disdain on her face in the way her lip curled and her eyes narrowed.

_ “No, you’re not. You’re a burden, given to us because your parents were trying to avoid a war.” _ She paused and sniffed in distaste at him. Loki felt his heart shatter in his chest as he lost the fight to keep his tears in.  _ “Pathetic,” _ she sneered. “ _ You’ve been nothing but a disappointment and constant source of shame to this family, Loki. Your husband was smart enough to leave while he still could. And now it’s time for you to go home to your real family, your obligations here are finished.” _

Frigga turned her back on him in disgust.  _ “You’ve outstayed your welcome. You are no longer useful to us, Loki. Cease this infantile display and be gone with you. Don’t darken our doorstep again.” _

Loki came awake with a horrible keening gasp and clutched his face in his hands as he desperately tried to get his breathing under control and stop the tears that were burning their shameful paths down his cheeks

A nightmare. A Gods be damned nightmare that had left him crying and gasping in his bed like a  _ child. _

Before he could stop himself, or even realize what he was doing, Loki had wrapped himself in the wedding cloak that smelt of Anthony and left their rooms. He wandered in a daze with tears still streaming down his face until he stopped at his mother’s door. Loki raised a hand to knock, and then lowered it again.

If he knocked… if Frigga answered and told him that it wasn’t a dream, that it was a sign of what was to come…

He’d lost Anthony. He’d  _ lost _ him. Let him get snatched from out beneath their very noses, and now he had no use. Odin had the Iron Reach lands, what use would it be to get Anthony back now? Would Loki have any use to them now? He was married to a missing man who’s lands had already been titled to Aysgarth. What use was he?

Loki felt his heart tighten painfully in his chest and he slumped to the floor outside the door, one hand gripping his chest and another wrapped in the cloak. What was he  _ doing _ here?

What good was coming to his mother… to the woman who he’d always called mother…

_ She’s not your mother, _ his thoughts were cruel and harsh, and Loki bit down a sob. It was true. She wasn’t his mother. Thor wasn’t his brother, not really. And Odin wasn’t his father.

Anthony… Sweet, innocent Anthony who thought that Loki still stayed with him purely out of obligation, and Loki was still too coward to realize his own feelings for the man.

The door in front of him creaked open, and he looked up with wet, burning eyes to look at Frigga. She was still pale, but her hair was shiny and loose, and she looked so warm and sleep-rumpled that he couldn’t help but to fling himself at her like a small child. She simply wrapped her arms about him, and led him in to settle on the bed with her. Odin was staying in a guest room while she recovered, so Loki simply lay his head on her chest and cried.

He cried for Sigyn being taken from him. He cried for being wed before he wanted, to a man he hadn’t wanted. He cried for Anthony, and for how he’d treated him, and for how frightened he must be now. He cried for Frigga. It was as though every last poisonous thought or memory he’d ever pushed down and ignored was suddenly being drained from him, like infection from a wound.

And Frigga just held him, whispered sweet nothings in his ear and let him cry until he was dry eyed and ashamed.

“Loki, my sweet baby boy. What on earth has happened love?”

Slowly, and in an uncertain and raspy voice, Loki told her of his nightmare. “I… I didn’t realize that I had walked here until I was going to knock,” he finished softly. “I am sorry for all of this. It’s… it’s horribly childish.” Loki ducked his head down and sniffed quietly.

“Oh my sweet boy,” Frigga ran her fingers through his messy hair and gentle eased out the tangles. “You’ve never let yourself properly grieve for everything that has happened to you. This was inevitable.” She sighed and Loki rolled his head to look at her. “My darling, I love you. Your brother and father love you. Natasha loves you,” she hesitated a moment, and Loki blinked owlishly at her. “And Anthony… that sweet boy has been in love with you from the moment he laid eyes on you.”

Loki sighed and shook his head. “I don’t think so.” Frigga laughed and Loki stared up at her in disbelief. “Mother, you cannot possibly think that, not after how awful I was to him.”

She simply smiled at him in that infuriatingly knowing way she had, and Loki bit his tongue to stop himself from arguing again. Frigga would not be swayed from her opinion when she had that look on her face.

“Believe what you will,” he grumbled but gave her a small smile in return. He knew that Anthony’s feelings for him were deeper than his own were in return, but he’d not considered that Anthony actually loved him. Cared for him, absolutely and he was definitely attracted to Loki, but he’d not thought that his emotions ran that deep.

But he remembered the things Anthony had said while he was drunk and delirious with fever. Loki sighed and turned his face to hide in his mother’s lap again.

“I’m afraid I won’t get to see him again,” he whispered. “What if we can’t find him before the storms set in? What if he is hurt? Or already dead? What do I do?”

Frigga’s fingers had never ceased their gentle combing of his hair, and Loki was grateful now for the anchor it gave him. He didn’t want to be carried away by his emotions again.

“He’s not dead,” she said firmly. “You would feel it if he were. Though you deny it still, there is a bond between the two of you, my little dove. That boy loves you with every fiber of his being. Don’t panic. He’ll be returned to you before the storms set in, I’m sure of it.” She settled them more comfortably on her bed, and Loki realized then that it must still be frightfully early, but he couldn’t bring himself to move or leave.

“Stay, and we will wait till sunup together. Then we’re going to go down to the Harbour and ask some questions ourselves,” Frigga’s voice was full of determination, and Loki felt a small spark of hope. “We’re going to get our Tony back.”

**~*~**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ships, gemstones and history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for *~* PockyPika *~*  
> I'll be waiting for my wine!

**~*~**

 

“People are much more talkative when the Queen is asking them the questions, aren’t they dear?”

Loki grinned over at his mother as she walked beside Natasha back to their carriage, the local vendors and residents scurrying out of their way and bowing as they passed.

“You put the fear of all the Gods into that poor man, mother,” he laughed, and Frigga winked at him.

“But he did tell us what we wanted to know, did he not?”

Natasha snorted, and when Loki glanced at her she smirked. “He was most helpful when she threatened him with the dungeon.”

The man had been a dockhand who saw Anthony being carried – unconscious – onto the ship that had taken him. He’d seen the man who took him, and been part of the local crew who had helped the ship be ready to sail. They’d been operating with a skeleton crew and needed the extra hands.

He’d been more than willing to tell them all about the captain and his cargo of illegal silks and spices – and Anthony – being loaded in the dead of night. The captain was a man with a reputation for being cruel and running a tight ship, with no room for anyone who disobeyed. His ship was an older design from the Eastern countries, but it was sleek and fast. They ran under an empty flag and had no figurehead to identify them by. But he’d known the captains name.

“His name’s Stone, majesty. Tiberius Stone.”

And he’d seen the ships name – _The Red Witch._

“So now all we need to do is track this ship?” Natasha asked quietly as the carriage pulled out of the harbor and began following the winding road back to the castle.

“I believe so,” Frigga mused. “Perhaps now that we have a name, Coulson and Clint will be able to track it?”

The grin Natasha gave her was almost feral. “Oh my,” she breathed. “You’ve no idea what they can do with only a name.”

Loki felt that small spark of hope in his chest flare. “We’re going to get him back.”

He’d heard of Tiberius Stone. Most people had. He was an awful man who had once had his own nobility and Family house in the Crystal Isles. But a deal gone badly with Howard Stark had seen his titles and lands stripped not ten years ago, and he’d turned to piracy and trade. Tiberius was cruel, depraved and ruthless. And now he had Anthony.

Gods only knew what he was doing to him.

Loki gave himself a mental shake. He couldn’t let himself do that. If he started to think like that then there’d be no chance for him to pull himself back out of the hole he’d inevitably dig. He focused instead on a plan to rescue his lost husband.

Once they tracked the ship, and Stone, getting Anthony back shouldn’t be too difficult. If they could intercept them on their way to take Anthony to… wherever they were going to take him then they could simply execute them all and take him home. But they didn’t know _where_ they were going to take him.

The most obvious destination had been Iron Reach, but the ship had exited the harbor and disappeared almost at once. And with the storm season approaching, there was little time left to put the puzzle pieces together and find out where Stone was planning to take him.

“Where is Tiberius’ family from originally?” he asked Natasha, and she gave him an odd look.

“You believe that he will take Tony to his home country?”

“Mmhm. All we know of him is that his home was in the Crystal Isles, but not which particular one. Cho has never mentioned him, so I’m confident to rule Amethyst out. But that still leaves several. Jasper is the largest, but I don’t think it’s the right one.” Loki paused and tipped his head back to stare at the carriage roof while he thought.

Ruling out Amethyst and Jasper made sense. Topaz was the next reasonably sized after Amethyst, and well known for its silk farms and open trade agreements with several of the wealthier families on the main continents. But that still left both Jade and Opal as possibilities. The Crystal Isles were a large collection of islands, but classified into smaller groups. And each was overseen by the Royal Family.

_And if the records hadn’t been conveniently destroyed in the palace fires ten years ago, we’d know exactly where to go to find Anthony,_ Loki thought bitterly.

“Well, a name is more than we’ll need now. Tiberius won’t be able to hide from Coulson,” Natasha said. “Especially not now he’s got a soft spot for our Tony. He was the best of the best in Rutherglenn for a reason.” She looked out the window at the gates of the castle as they drove through, and reached over without looking to grab Loki’s hand and squeeze it. “Don’t worry. He’ll be home soon.”

**~*~**

Tony liked routine.

He appreciated waking at around the same time each day, and he liked that he could start each day with Cookie’s coffee and a kiss from Loki.

He did not like spending his days in a damp, cramped cage in the bottom of a pirate ship with nothing but a bucket and the occasional conversation with the captain.

Tiberius Stone was an _asshole_.

He was big, dumb and brutish. _All muscle and no brains_ , Tony thought snidely as Tiberius was raving on again about the magnificent home and lands he’d once had. Howard had apparently screwed him over a decade ago, and he’d lost everything because of it. So of course his master plan had been to steal Tony away in compensation – but Tony never left the Manor.

He’d attempted to sabotage a few of Howard’s deals over the years, but the man had been slipperier than a snake to try and ensnare. And even when Tony had pointedly yawned and looked away in the middle of an earlier rant about his father, he’d not stopped. Tony had been privy to the man’s plans and ideas since his third day on the ship. The rest of the crew didn’t care a whit for him, and were quite happy to simply ignore his existence.

But Tony had a plan of his own. He was going to wait until they were docked again and make a break for it. Simple, but hopefully effective.

Tiberius - who kept insisting that Tony call him ‘ _Ty_ ’ - was taking Tony to his old homeland in the Crystal Isles, a small but formerly well-respected homestead on Opal Island that he’d grown up on and lost when Howard went behind his back by signing a new agreement with Obadiah. He’d then let Tiberius take the fall for a ship full of stolen women and children that had been intercepted by the authorities before they’d been able to dock and sell them onwards. The crew of the ship hadn’t known about Howard’s involvement as he was a silent partner, but Tiberius had been the one to give them a quarter of their pay as guarantee and they’d happily sold him out. According to Tiberius, it had been Howard who had informed the authorities of the ship’s location and it’s cargo.

So Tony was content to sit in his dirty, damp cage and wait until they landed at the Opal Harbor. Because although he’d never left the Manor, Tony had done his best to educate himself about the world outside of Iron Reach and Midgard. He’d read books, studied maps and learnt languages. He was confident in himself that he could get away and to safety no matter where they were.

Tiberius’s grand plan in all of this was to make Howard pay ransom for Tony and then force Howard to declare Tony’s marriage to Loki void so Tiberius could have him before he killed Howard and Obadiah and took Iron Reach for himself, thus getting his revenge upon him and Obadiah.

But Howard was dead, on Obadiah’s orders, and Tiberius had no idea.

Tony had laughed himself to tears when he’d heard Tiberius’s plan the first time, and the man had not hesitated to strike him to the floor to make him be quiet again.

_“No husband of mine is going to be allowed to carry on like that,”_ Tiberius had hissed at him, and Tony had just glared up at him from the ground, his eye rapidly swelling shut.

_“Good thing I’ll never be yours then,”_ he’d spat back, and Tiberius had stalked off, slamming the door behind him and denying him food and water for four days until Tony was forced to apologize.

Tony had kept track of the days by scratching with his boot heel on the walls of the cage they had him in. Tiberius and the rest of the crew called it a cell, but Tony called it a cage. It was too small to be anything else.

He could hear the sounds of the crew above and around him at all times of the day and night. There was always someone calling out directions, shouting for sails to be raised and folded, for water or a map. It was noisy and chaotic, and Tony hated it. Hated listening to the sounds of the crew in the space beside him as they slept and grunted and talked all through the night; hated most of all, that no one would talk to him save Tiberius. And he only ever liked to talk about himself or his plans for Tony and Howard.

Tony was sitting and counting the planks in his cell – there were still 23, same as there had been yesterday and the day before – when Tiberius came in and immediately wrinkled his nose at Tony.

“My Gods, you smell absolutely vile.” Tony blinked at him. “Get up then, it’s time you were washed.”

Slowly and hesitantly, Tony shifted and knelt on the floor, debating whether to stand or not. As appealing as being clean sounded, he didn’t want to put himself in any kind of situation where he was even more vulnerable. And being wet and naked was a surefire way to be more vulnerable.

“Get up, I said!” Tiberius’s booted foot connected with his side and sent him sprawling. Tony hadn’t even noticed that the door had been opened, or that Tiberius had stepped inside. “By the Nine Gods, you truly smell like a peasant.”

“Well wh-what did you expect?” Tony gasped as he got his feet back underneath him. “There’s not exactly a washroom in here.”

Tiberius only sneered at him and faster than Tony could keep up with - half starved and exhausted as he was - had Tony’s hands bound behind his back and was leading him up a set of steep and narrow stairs.

The hand at his shoulders gave him a rough shove down a small corridor, and Tony found himself in the Captain’s quarters. He looked around, taking in the decadent furnishings – a huge bed covered in furs and pillows, a dresser, a desk and a lounge chair and in the corner, a copper tub that was steaming faintly – and sighed.

“I presume y-you want me to bathe with you here?” Tony kept his voice as steady as he could, and tried not to shudder when Tiberius’s hand slipped from his shoulder to rest on his lower back.

“Remove your hand, Stone.”

Tiberius just laughed lowly, and rubbed his hand over Tony’s back and unbinding his hands, before settling it back on his hip. “Now, now. No need for that, hm? It won’t be long now and you’re gonna be mine anyway.”

Tony snorted. “That’s not going to happen, Stone. My husband and family are looking for me, and it won’t be long before they find me.” Tony smirked up at Tiberius. “Did you know my sister in law, Lady Natasha, is from Rutherglenn? Her brother is the King there… and they’re very _creative_ people.”

The strike to his face was so expected that Tony didn’t even flinch. He just kept smirking at Tiberius and stood his ground. Tony spat the blood that filled his mouth at the ground beside Tiberius’s boots, and wiped a hand over his face.

“So, can I have a bath now?”

Tiberius stomped out of the room and left Tony standing there alone. Not wanting to waste the time alone with hot water, Tony stripped and made a beeline for the tub. He washed quickly and efficiently, scrubbing the worst of the sweat and grime from his skin and hair as best he could without soap or shampoo. There was a coarse towel hung from the chair beside the tub and he dried and wrapped it about his waist. A quick look around revealed a pile of clean clothes on the end of the bed, and Tony dressed himself without paying much attention to what he was wearing.

A glint of gold caught his eye, and Tony spotted his circlet sitting on Tiberius’s desk. He walked over and picked it up, turning it slowly in his hands before setting it back down. A look at the door and Tony vaulted over the desk to rummage through its drawers. The top one was locked, but the bottom drawer yielded a prize.

When Tiberius came back into the room a few minutes later, Tony was sitting in the lounge chair by the window, reading a book he’d found on the dresser. Tiberius sighed and dragged him up out of the chair and back down to his cage. He tossed Tony in and threw the book in after him, laughing when it smacked Tony in the head.

Tony just smiled passively back and resisted the urge to stroke the letter opener tucked in his boot.

**~*~**

Loki was sitting in the small dining room with his mother and Thor, sipping his tea and pushing his breakfast around on his plate, when Coulson and Clint came barreling through the doors.

“Pardon the intrusion majesties,” Clint wheezed, he and Coulson both were flushed and panting. “We’ve found him!”

A sudden hurricane of action took place. The two men were ushered into chairs and had tea and water thrust at them by Frigga, Thor was yelling down the hall for someone to fetch his wife and father, and Loki was fairly certain his heart had stopped.

“ _The Red Witch_ is fast and her crew vicious, but we were able to _persuade_ the Navigator to have a chat with us at their last port yesterday.” Clint grinned at them, a slightly manic glint in his eyes, and Natasha’s answering grin got a vaguely bloodthirsty edge to it. “It’s amazing what you can get out of a person with only a piece of rope.”

Coulson cleared his throat pointedly, and Clint blinked and took a deep breath. “Right. Well, we got the information out of him… _carefully_ , and we know where they’re heading. Stone’s old property on Opal Island. We dunno exactly why it’s taken them so long to get there, but from what the Navigator, uh, let slip… they’ve been making stop after stop along the way to empty the hold of cargo and replenish Stone’s gold stores.” Clint snorted. “He’s trying to look impressive.” Coulson sighed and rolled his eyes.

“This is good news though, majesties. It has made him easier to track down. We’re also fairly certain that Anthony remains… untouched,” he said delicately, refusing to look at Loki. “He has been confined.”

“My Gods,” Frigga breathed. “We’ve got him!”

Thor nodded and turned to clasp Loki on the shoulder. “We’ll have him home soon, brother!”

Loki felt as though he were standing outside of his body and simply observing the scene before him. They’d found Anthony and if it all went well, he’d be home inside of a month. Opal Island was a four day voyage from Aysgarth’s harbor, and Thor and Natasha would almost be enough between just the two of them to take care of anyone that might be guarding Anthony. Stone’s old property would be easy enough to find once they landed. A few well-placed words, and bags of gold, would ensure that.

Loki did his best to focus back on the conversation, reaching out blindly for something to ground him, and sighed in relief when Thor took his hand, squeezing it hard to help bring him back to himself.

“Be at ease, brother,” Thor murmured. And then louder, “When can we depart?”

Odin frowned and rubbed a thoughtful hand through his beard, remaining eye closing as he thought. “I believe if we are able to gather her crew fast enough, the _Ragnarok_ could be prepared to sail with tomorrow’s morning tide.”

There was a quiet knock at the doors, and as one they all turned to look. Almost the entire serving staff of the castle was gathered there, Cook Kanil at their front.

“Beggin’ ya pardons, majesties,” she said with a polite curtsey. “But if it pleases you, we can have the _Ragnarok_ stocked and ready for the crew by nights end. The castle chores are completed, and we’d dearly love to have our wee Tony back, too.”

Thor beamed at them, and Frigga was up and on her feet, moving to embrace the cook before she’d even finished speaking.

“Oh, Kanil, you sweetheart,” Frigga kissed her soundly on the cheek, and Kanil flushed. “Gather everyone willing to help. Let’s bring our Tony home, hm?”

Loki watched then as everyone moved quickly and efficiently. Frigga and Kanil disappeared to the kitchens to prepare the foodstuffs for the ship, and Thor and Odin were immediately sending people out to fetch the captain and his crew from the village, and Clint and Coulson were in deep conversation with Natasha in their native tongue. He caught the occasional word – _pain, vengeance, family_ – and smiled to himself.

This Tiberius Stone was going to live only long enough to regret what he’d done when he took Anthony and poisoned his mother. Rutherglenn’s reputation had persisted over the years for a reason.

Loki gave Thor’s hand one last squeeze and stood. The least he could do now was to assist in some way. There was nothing he could do to help Thor or his mother, so he made his way to the library and pulled out every map and scroll that had any mention of Opal Island. Though the more detailed documents and histories of their Nobilities had been destroyed in a fire that had also killed their Crown Prince. Written off as a terrible accident, Loki now wondered exactly what had happened in the Crystal Palace. Convenient, that the palace had burnt mere months after Stone’s family lost their noble standings.

He sighed and scrubbed his hands through his hair, roughly combing it out and braiding it back over his shoulder. Speculating over things that had happened a decade ago wouldn’t help him now. He had to focus. Loki pulled the nearest map towards him and bent his head to study it.

Opal Island wasn’t a terribly huge piece of land, approximately 40 kilometers from one side to the other. But it was land well used. A flourishing and well-established silk farm had been the Stone family’s biggest claim to their Nobility.

According to Clint and Coulson’s information, Tiberius’s father had been a very humble and respected Duke in the Crystal Isles, and when he died and the title fell to Tiberius, the family had lasted only a few years before the Nobility was stripped away and their properties seized.

Loki traced the roads and tracks on the map with his finger, idly wondering if Anthony was being taken down them now. Was he hurt? Had Tiberius… He shook his head and took a deep breath, counting to ten before he exhaled slowly. _Focus damnit,_ he scolded himself. There was nothing to be gained with letting his thoughts get away from him.

The island was easy to navigate, and the area that the Stone family’s former home was in was clearly marked and easily identifiable. The only issue they truly faced was not knowing the house’s internal layout. But then, the hope was that they would be able to catch them off-guard enough that it would all be over and done with before Tiberius and his crew even realized that they were on the island.

The _Ragnarok_ was fast. It had been gifted to Thor for his 21st year, and each year he took it out during summer to meet their trade partners and re-sign any agreements that were approaching their end. Loki was quietly confident that they’d be at Opal Island faster than they were hoping. He’d looked this morning at the clouds and taken the measurements of the wind for his own curiosity. The storms were approaching, but were still many days away. If the winds held steady once they were on open water, what should be a four-day journey could very well only take them three.

Loki rolled his maps and scrolls and put them back into their places in the library shelves. A quick glance out the window showed the sun beginning to set, and he gathered his notes and the copies of the maps together to take to Thor and the Captain so that their journey and subsequent rescue mission could be planned. The less that they left to chance with all this the better in Loki’s opinion.

There were already so many variables and things that they didn’t know, and he was unwilling to add to that. Loki paused in his walk back to his Father’s study to look out the window at the setting sun. He watched as it slowly turned the grounds a vibrant patchwork of oranges and pinks, the trees and flowers looking almost as if they’d been set aflame.

It was Anthony’s favourite time of day. He loved to sit and watch the sunset as it hit the grounds and changed the world into this strange glowing landscape. They’d not been close when Loki had first stumbled on him watching it, and Anthony hadn’t even noticed him there. But Loki had seen the look of awe on his face as he watched it, and could remember wondering what kind of life he’d been living if something as simple as a sunset was enough to make him gawk like that.

He stood and watched for only a few moments more before setting himself back on the path to Odin’s study. When he had Anthony back they would watch the sunset together every night if they could. Loki was beginning to realize that there was very little he wouldn’t do for Anthony now.

Loki entered the study without knocking, and left his pile of maps and notes on the desk in front of Thor, who was deep in conversation with the Captain. Not wanting to interrupt and potentially cause any delays, Loki left and went to pack his things.

The rooms felt empty without Anthony here. The bed was too big and too cold, the lounge felt wrong without his smaller body curled up against his side. Loki half-heartedly shoved a few changes of clothes into his bag, and then thought to do the same for Anthony. His own clothes would go a long way to helping him feel safer after this whole thing was over with. Loki chose all his favourite pieces, all silks and soft fabrics. He carefully folded them into another bag for Anthony, making sure to include his favourite soap and shampoo as well. He glanced around their bedroom one last time, vowing not to step back in until Anthony was by his side.

Right before he left though, Loki picked up Anthony’s book and tucked it into his bag.

**~*~**

“What is that?”

The man just grunted at him, and turned his head away, shifting his feet so he was leaning against the wall and facing away from Tony completely. Tony rolled his eyes, and huffed a sigh, wishing he’d kept the letter opener on him instead of hidden away safely in his cage.

“Honestly, is it s-so hard for you to simply answer my question? I know you speak Common.” He let his gaze fall back onto the oddly coloured gemstone that was emitting a faint glow where it sat on Tiberius’s dresser top. “It’s beautiful,” he whispered to himself. Roughly shaped into a teardrop shape the size of his thumb, the gem was the most vibrant shade of blue Tony had ever seen. It looked like it was glowing inside, and the different shades of blue that made it up seemed almost otherworldly. He’d never seen anything like it.

“They call it Hel’s Heart.” Tiberius stepped up beside Tony and Tony took a deliberate step sideways. Tiberius sighed and turned to lean on his dresser, picking the gemstone up with one hand as he did. He turned it around in his hand, letting the light catch it and Tony felt like he was being hypnotized.  

“Hel’s Heart?” he asked quietly, not taking his eyes from the beautiful stone. “Why is named after the Goddess of Death?”

Tiberius sat the odd gemstone back down on his dresser, and covered it with a piece of velvet. Tony shook his head a little, like whatever spell he’d been under when he looked at the gem was suddenly broken.

“According to my crew, the gem fell from the stars many years ago, a single tear shed by Hel when she was thrown down for her crimes to guard the dead.”

Tony sighed and looked out the window behind him. All he could see was the rolling waves and blue of the ocean. “Are we almost there?”

Tiberius hummed. “We’re following the afternoon tide. We’ll dock soon.”

“Can I go above deck?”

“Absolutely not,” Tiberius snorted. “There’s only two members of my crew who speak Common. The rest think you’re my whore, brought aboard to warm my bed.” Tony shuddered and moved away from Tiberius to pace the small area in front of the window. He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and stopped his pacing.

“Move away from me, Stone.”

Tiberius’s arms snaked around his waist and Tony felt himself pulled back against his chest. Tiberius’s breath was hot and wet against his ear, and he barely suppressed a shudder of revulsion.

“Now why would I do that, hm? You’ve been brought here for _me_ . You’re _mine_.” The arms around him tightened a little, and Tony felt the first real flash of fear. Tiberius was bigger than him and a hell of a lot stronger. He bit his tongue and clamped his mouth shut against a sudden rush of bile when Tiberius dragged his tongue up the side of his neck. “You may as well accept the inevitable, pet. As soon as we dock and I’ve got you in my house…” he rubbed his nose along the wet trail his tongue had left up Tony’s neck, and Tony was positive if he opened his mouth he’d vomit.

Tiberius gave a chuckle and rubbed himself shamelessly against Tony for a moment, and Tony shuddered in horror and disgust at the feeling. “Gonna take better care of you than that prissy Prince,” he breathed into Tony’s ear, before abruptly shoving him away. “Now get back to your cell.” Tiberius unashamedly adjusted his breeches with a leer, and Tony turned away. “We’re gonna have a busy few days before we’re able to consummate this, pet.”

Tiberius laughed and sauntered out of the room, winking at Tony as he passed, and the man who had been waiting pushed himself off the wall. Tony swallowed hard and allowed himself to be led back down to his cage. He barely noticed as the man slammed the door and the lock slid into place.

_Oh Gods,_ _Loki. Find me._

_ **~*~** _


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Down to the Depths of Davy Jones' Locker You Go.

**~*~**

Thor watched from the stern of the _Ragnarok_ as the land disappeared quickly behind them. They’d gotten lucky with the winds and the tides, and left Aysgarth harbor before first light. Natasha and her countrymen were below deck, preparing their plan of attack for when they landed on Opal Island. Loki was standing at the bow end of the _Ragnarok_ , staring out at the open ocean before them. His brother had been nearly silent since he gave them the maps and notes he’d made on the island.

He watched as the winds whipped Loki’s loose dark hair about his face, but Loki didn’t move to brush it away or even seem to notice it. Thor had seen his brother in many mood and in many different situations over the years, but he’d never seen him like this. So absolutely focused and determined. Even after Sigyn, when Loki had been making irrational plans to get her back and be allowed to wed her, he’d never looked like this. Standing as he was, Thor could easily see the King inside of his brother. There was a regal and poised look to him that Thor was envious of.

He sighed and looked back. The land was gone, swallowed by the darkness and distance. He could hear the crew shouting to one another as the sails whipped about above his head, and ropes and cloth swung around him. A ship was a constant hive of activity – there was always someone awake and working, ensuring that they sailed safely and in the right direction.

“Are you alright?” Thor looked down at his wife, and placed his big hand over the one she had resting on his arm. He leant back against the railings and sighed. Natasha moved her hand from underneath his and threaded her fingers through his, pulling herself in closer to Thor’s body.

“Aye, I am fine,” he replied and looped an arm around her waist. “I was just thinking about Loki. He’s been so… different since last night.”

Natasha made a soft humming noise. “I think that he’s just coping as best he can. It’s been almost three weeks now since he’s seen his husband. And considering that Loki has been refusing to accept his feelings towards Tony… ” She paused and sighed. “It makes sense that now that he is gone, Loki has had no choice but to try and understand himself.” She followed Thor’s gaze to where Loki still stood, and smiled. “He’s going to be fine. Trust me.”

Thor kissed her cold cheek and buried his face in her hair. “You bring me such joy and comfort, my wife,” he whispered. “I love you.”

They stood for a while, watching as the sun rose above them and slowly lit up the open sea surrounding them, making the waves and water look pink and gold. Natasha made her way back below deck to finish her planning with Clint and Coulson when the sun had risen fully, leaving Thor with a chaste kiss and a nudge in his brother’s direction.

“Go and speak with him,” she chastised him gently. “See if you can help to settle his fears.”

He approached Loki slowly, and leant against the railing beside him. Loki never looked away from the water, but he spoke quietly when Thor was still again. “I miss him more than I ever thought possible, brother.”

Thor glanced over at him, but remained silent. Loki needed to talk, and to be heard, not have platitudes and sympathy spoken at him. Loki sighed softly.

“There’s no way for me to… to forgive myself now. Their plan was so stupidly simple it should never have worked. Poisoning the Queen and then just walking him out of the castle?” Loki hit the railing in frustration, and Thor winced at the way his hand immediately went red. “It should not have worked! We were so careful, and it still wasn’t enough. _I_ wasn’t enough!” Thor watched as Loki slumped over, his head thunking down on the railing and his arms coming up to hide his face. “Brother,” Loki’s voice was muffled and sad, and Thor sighed. “I just want him home.”

Thor reached over and clapped a hand on Loki’s shoulder, gripping it tightly for a moment. “He’ll back soon, Loki,” he said softly. “You’ve been so strong. It’s only a little longer.”

Loki nodded and lifted his head from his arms to rest on the railing. Thor knew that his presence would soon be unwanted, so with another gentle pat to Loki’s shoulder, he left his brother there and went below deck to assist his wife.

**~*~**

Loki jerked awake suddenly, the cabin walls closing in on him and the darkness threatening to suffocate him. He clutched at his pounding heart and fell back against his pillows. His hair was wet and clinging to his face and neck with sweat and Loki could feel the dampness on his pillows.

Another nightmare. Anthony refusing to come home with him and telling him he’d finally found true happiness with Stone, because Stone loved him in return. A stupid, nonsensical nightmare but he knew now that any hope of getting more sleep would elude him.

He fumbled a hand out into the darkness beside his bed until the soft glow of the gas lamp came on. Loki rolled over onto his side in the too large bed, and sighed. The light from the lamp was just enough to dimly light the room, and chase the shadows from the corners.

His gaze fell onto the bag he’d packed for Anthony, and the corner of his book that poked out of the pocket it was tucked into. Moving before he could reconsider, Loki swung his legs out of the bed and moved over to the bag. He pulled the book out and examined the cover, tracing his fingers over the faded text.

 _The Princess Bride_.

Loki sat back on the bed and adjusted the lamp to burn brighter. Sleep was a lost cause for him now and a book seemed better than laying in the dark, consumed with his thoughts.

He opened the book and read the inscription again.

_For my darling boy,_

_Tony, one day you’ll find your Buttercup, my sweet bambino._

_Love, Mama._

Loki sighed and turned the page.

‘ _This is my favourite book in all the world, though I have never read it.’_

Loki snorted and kept reading.

Outside, the moon fell and the sun rose. The Captain was ordering his crew about and Thor and Natasha both attempted to gain his attention. Loki drank the coffee they sat beside him and ate the sandwiches they brought, but he didn’t leave the bed or put the book down. It wasn’t until he finally read the last words and closed the cover that he realized exactly what Anthony had been saying to him for so long.

‘As you wish.’ _I love you_. Loki let the book drop to the bed beside him as he sat in stunned silence.

All the instances of Anthony replying to him with _As you wish_.

Anthony telling him that ‘ _you’re it for me_.’

Anthony’s fevered ramblings where he wished for Loki to love him, convinced that he wasn’t a good husband for Loki.

Giving him flowers and trying, always trying, to be kind and to show Loki how much he cared. And Loki had thrown it back in his face every time.

“Oh Gods,” he breathed. “By the _Nine_.” Loki dragged a shaking hand through his hair and fell forwards onto his bed, hiding his face in the folds of his blankets.

His husband was in love with him. Everyone had been telling him for months and yet he’d been steadfastly ignoring it – poking his head into the sand like an ostrich and refusing to see. Because if he’d let himself see, to truly understand the depths of Anthony’s emotions and feelings towards him, he’d have to try and understand his own.

And his own still made him feel conflicted. He knew himself – knew that what he felt for Anthony was stronger than anything he’d felt for Sigyn, or any lover he’d had since. And he’d _known_ at the time that he loved Sigyn.

Hadn’t he?

 _Had_ that been love after all? She’d never treated him in any way close to how Anthony treated him. Their affair had been passionate and physical, filled with sweet words and endearments in the midst of sating their lust, but when Loki looked back on it now… it felt empty. Hollow. Filled with the same clichéd expressions and actions as every other teenaged romance.

And he’d wanted so desperately to hold onto that, that he’d almost missed his chance with Anthony. Someone who _actually_ loved him, accepted all of him and didn’t shy away from his broken parts, but instead tried to fit his own broken pieces together with Loki’s.

To make each other whole again, together.

Loki sighed and turned his face to stare at the room. The sun was going down again. Tomorrow they were to dock at Opal Island. If everything went to plan, he would have Anthony back in his arms by this time tomorrow evening.

And he could tell him… what? What would he say to him? Did he love Anthony?

A memory of Anthony’s bright golden brown eyes went through his mind, and Loki smiled to himself. He thought of the smile that Anthony got when he was laughing that made the corners crinkle just a little. He remembered Anthony’s ridiculous morning hair. The curls that wouldn’t sit where they were supposed to no matter how much they brushed them down. The softness and warmth of his skin where it would be pressed against Loki’s as they slept. The way his hand always sought his own out under the covers at night, always wanting to touch Loki as they slept.

_“As you wish, Loki.”_

“Oh Gods,” Loki groaned, realisation hitting him like one of Thor’s boots to the gut, and turned his burning face to hide back in his blankets. “I love him. Thor and Natasha will never let me live this down.”

When he stumbled out of his cabin the next morning to help them dock, Natasha took one look at his face and burst out laughing.

“Oh Loki, you sweet boy!” She was bent double with the force of her laughter, and Loki felt his face burning. “You’ve had quite the epiphany haven’t you?”

Loki turned away from her, and right into Thor’s massive chest. “Loki,” Thor peered into his face, an exaggeration expression of confusion on his face. “Has something come amiss, brother? My wife seems to be rather hysterical.” He gestured to where Natasha was now leaning against the nearest railings while she tried to catch her breath.

“She is being ridiculous,” Loki sniffed. Thor looked to Natasha again and then back to Loki, and Loki’s stomach sank as he saw the realization dawn on Thor’s face.

“Oh finally!” he boomed, and Loki cringed. “It brings me such great joy, little brother, to see that you’ve _finally_ come to your senses!”

Thor moved forward and swept Loki up into a crushing bear hug, continuing to loudly share his joy in Loki’s understanding of his own emotions. Loki just grit his teeth and took the good-natured ribbing. Thor eventually put him back down, and the rest of the crew all laughed at him for a few moments before the captain was hollering at them to get back to work.

It wasn’t long after that the call to drop anchor sounded, and the smaller boats used to go ashore were released.

“We’re not going to pull into the harbor,” Natasha’s voice was quiet but firm and Loki was grateful she was there to keep him from acting rashly. “We’re going to drop anchor here, behind this cliff face, and take the smaller boats ashore, using the natural ley of the land to keep us out of sight. We’re going to be on the bastard’s doorstep before he even knows that we’re here.”

She grinned up at him then, her green eyes wild with excitement and bloodlust, her grin savage and promising pain to Stone. Loki grinned right back, and helped her to braid her hair back out of the way, accepting the favor in return. She fastened the last clasp on his leathers, and he clipped the last of her chainmail into place.

“Let’s go get our boy, hm?”

“Why sister,” Loki purred, and winked at Thor as he approached them, Clint and Coulson in tow,  to board the small boat. “I thought you’d never ask.” Thor smirked and climbed down the ladder into the boat ahead of them.

“Come along then, snails! Hopefully there will be enough of the Gods be damned bastard’s men for us all to get a taste of vengeance, aye?” Loki laughed and hurried down after Natasha, his leathers creaking and softening around him as he moved and the sun warmed them. “Hurry Loki! My blade thirsts for their blood!”

“Aye brother,” he moved to sit in the bow of the boat, looking towards the land. “We shall make Stone rue the day he took my husband, and poisoned our mother.”  

**~*~**

Tony knew that something was different.

He’d woken that morning alone and in a huge, soft bed. He was still in the dirty clothes he’d been wearing aboard the ship, but his boots were gone.

As was his letter opener.

There had been nothing else in the room, except a wooden crate in one corner filled with hot water that was still steaming, a small table with a bar of plain soap and a rough towel on it beside it. The single window in the room was bolted closed, and the curtains gone. There were no blankets on the bed, only a white nightshirt. He knew better than to try the door.

So Tony had bathed, and washed himself best he could in the tiny crate, and dressed again in the nightshirt. It was huge on him, hanging down past his knees and slipping from his shoulders. Tony felt like a child dressing up in their parents clothing. Belatedly he realized that was probably what had happened. He was in Tiberius’s old family home, which had been boarded shut and untouched since the day he was cast out. The servant’s quarters were empty and the whole place dusty and dirty.

Tiberius had raged for hours when they first arrived and there was no one there to greet them. The rest of his crew had shrugged and chosen a room for the night, and Tony had been dragged to the empty butler’s chambers beside Tiberius’s room to sleep. Once he’d beaten most of the dust from the bedsheets and blankets, Tony had just been grateful for the lumpy mattress on the tiny cot.

There had been orchards at some point, which were now just wild fruit trees, and Tiberius had let Tony out in the sun to pick baskets of fruit. He’d taken his time choosing the apples and peaches, soaking up as much sunshine and fresh air as he possibly could each day. The entire time he’d been on the ship, he’d never been anywhere except the small hallway from his cage in the lower hold to the captain’s quarters on the deck above. No real sunshine, no fresh air and no chance to escape.

He’d debated making a run for it, but one look at the overgrown jungle surrounding them, and he’d known that to do so would be suicide. Instead, he’d decided to go along with Tiberius’ plan for now. Opal Island was a small island, there was nowhere he could run and hide here. His recollection of the ley of the land was to remember unforgiving and sudden cliffs, and turbulent tidal creeks. There was no village anymore, and no one else lived here. The island had essentially been abandoned when the royal family had either taken in the servants when the Stone’s property was seized, or sold them on to others. Tony really didn’t want to take the chance that Tiberius would hurt him if he did try and escape.

So he idled his day’s away, picking fruit and reading the books that he was given from the library.

But then last night he’d been given a glass of wine with dinner and woken up here. Bastard’s had clearly drugged him to move him. Which meant…

“No,” he whispered to himself, horror dawning on him as what the bath and the bed meant. Time was up. The things that had been keeping Tiberius busy these last few days were done. He’d sent the majority of the crew back to the ship yesterday afternoon, but Tony hadn’t thought anything of it.

He was going to come tonight, and Tony would be forced to…

“No!”

He slammed his fist on the wall beside the window and stared out it at the expanse of overgrown trees and shrubbery, and glared at the setting sun. Maybe he could take his chances. Maybe he’d be better off trying, then simply waiting here to be abused by Tiberius.

He was running out of time. He was always collected for dinner as soon as the sun completely set.

Tony eyed the small table by the still full crate of water and wondered if it would be strong enough to smash the glass of the window. He moved back to the window to take one last look out before trying, when a flicker of movement behind one of the trees caught his attention. Leaning forward, Tony tried to focus on what it was.

A glimpse of something bright red and Tony leaned so far forwards his nose and head bumped the window. There it was again!

“Tasha,” Tony breathed. Her head popped out from behind a tree and she waved at him. She could see him. Oh Gods, and if Tasha was here…

Tony scanned the tree line as best he could in the failing light, the setting sun casting odd shadows on the ground. He strained his eyes and tried to focus, but all he could see were the shadows and trees. There were only two crew members left, not including Tiberius, and the next time he saw Tasha poke her head around he waved frantically to get her attention holding three fingers up and pointing at the door. She gave him a thumbs up and disappeared into the shadows again.

Tony moved to sit on the bed and wait. There was nothing he could do from in here to assist them, and if he was clearly in their line of sight when that door inevitably opened, then he could be rescued all the faster.

The moon had barely begun to rise when he heard the front doors slamming open. There was a confused shout from one of the guards, and then nothing. Another shout that he recognized as Tiberius’s voice, and then an odd, high-pitched screaming that tapered off. Choosing not to focus on that, Tony listened carefully to the footsteps he could hear coming down the hall. His previous plan of sitting and waiting was immediately tossed out the window, because Tony _knew_ those steps.

“Loki!” He yelled, and banged loudly on the door. “Loki! I’m in here!” He bashed his fists against the door; feeling the skin split and watching the blood smear on the wood as he beat them against the locked door. “LOKI!”

“Anthony! I’m here, we’ll get you right out!”

And oh, _Gods_ , hearing his voice was almost too much. Tony felt his knees go weak and he nearly collapsed to the floor. Giving his fist one last feeble bang on the door, he moved out of the way and sank to the floor beside the door. There was a rattling at the handle and he looked up, cradling his bleeding hands in his lap as the handle gave another rattle. There was a muffled expletive and then the door burst open. Thor stood there panting, blood spattered across his face, and Tony could hear that strange, high pitched sound from downstairs somewhere again.

“Thor!” he cried and leapt to his feet, flinging himself into the big arms that were open to catch him. “Oh thank the Nine you found me!” Thor squeezed him and kissed his cheek before setting him down gently.

“Aye brother, we found you,” he smiled and stepped aside. Tony swallowed hard, and peered out into the hall around Thor, his heart fluttering when he saw it was empty.

“Oh my darling,” Tony spun on his heel… and there he was. Loki stood with his arms open and an uncertain smile on his face. Tony didn’t hesitate; he threw himself at Loki and trusted him to catch him. Loki’s arms caught him and pulled him tightly against his leather-clad chest and Tony couldn’t help the relieved tears that dripped down his cheeks then.

“Loki,” he moved his face up and pressed his mouth against Loki’s, and it was harsh and messy, with teeth clashing and noses bumping and it was _perfect_. He pulled back and thumped his forehead against Loki’s chin and drew as deep a breath as he could, feeling the hot burn of the tears running down his cheeks. “You found me. You came for me.”

Loki’s hand cupped the back of his head and guided him to rest in the crook of his neck, and Tony went happily, breathing in deeply the smell of vanilla and sandalwood. _Home_.

“I will _always_ find you,” Loki whispered and Tony sniffed, tightening his own arms around Loki’s middle.

“Do you promise?”

“I do.”

“Don’t… don’t ever leave me, Loki.”

There was a pause for a heartbeat then Loki’s soft voice in his ear. “ _As you wish._ ”

Tony felt his heart skip a beat. “Loki?” He hardly dared to breathe, feeling his stomach clench in nerves and he gripped the back of Loki’s leathers tightly. “D-d-did you r-re-read it?”

Loki made an agreeing noise in his throat, and Tony buried his face back into his neck. “Th-th-then you know?”

“Do I know that my husband has been in love with me for many months? I do indeed,” he said softly, and stroked a hand down Tony’s back, smoothing the fabric of the nightshirt and stopping at his lower back. “Darling, I am _so_ sorry. I’m ashamed of how blind and willfully ignorant I’ve been.” Tony shook his head and Loki shushed him gently. “Just know that… you’re it for me too, my love.”

**~*~**

Thor left Tony and his brother in the hallway, whispering their sweet nothings and trading gentle kisses as they reunited with one another after almost a month apart. He made his way back down the stairs, giving a harsh kick to the headless corpse of the man who’d tried to stand in their way.

“Scarcely even wet my blade,” he grouched as he stomped his way past, and pushed open the door to the dining room. His wife and her countrymen had Stone tied to one of his chairs, and the man was bleeding freely in several places. Thor dragged another chair over and sat himself in it in front of Stone, who visibly flinched away from him.

“So,” Thor said as though they were discussing nothing more trivial than the weather. “You thought to rape my brother in law, marry him against his will and… what? What was the end goal here for all this?”

 

Stone made a high pitched whining noise behind his gag, and Thor sighed. He pulled a small knife from his belt and twirled it through his fingers. “Luckily for you, your friend out there was most willing to tell us what we wanted to know before my wife relieved him of his head.” Stone’s eyes bugged out of his head and he started to thrash against his bonds. Thor flicked the knife with pinpoint precision into his foot, pinning it to the floor, ignoring the muffled screaming from behind the gag.

“Do stop squirming,” he said calmly. “You know as well as I that there is not a chance in any form that you will be leaving this house alive.”

Clint stepped up behind Thor and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What’s the orders, boss man?”

Thor eyed Stone, took in the fear in his eyes and the crazed way they were flicking about the room. The man knew the stories of Rutherglenn, and he clearly recognised Natasha. And Thor knew what Coulson, Clint and Tasha could do to a man and still keep him alive. He thought of Tony, upstairs in that room, underfed and terrified with his hands bloody from beating against the door. Remembered the bruises that marred his face and the healing cuts on his cheeks and nose.

“Make it last,” was all he said. Stone shrieked behind his gag and Coulson smiled his bland little smile as he opened the leather satchel he’d brought ashore with him, removing a rolled-up cloth that clinked faintly as he set it down on the table.

“Your highness,” he said politely, “it will be our absolute pleasure.”

**~*~**

Natasha watched with a clinical interest as Coulson reached an expectant hand out and Clint placed the thumbscrew in it without a word passing between them. She rested her weight back against the tabletop as Coulson worked. Thumbscrew in place, he held his hand out again and Clint placed a small silver tool into his hand and stepped back again. Stone’s gagged screams and pitiful noises intensified as she watched Coulson’s arms and back flex and move as he worked.

There was a perfect synchronization between Clint and Coulson as he worked Stone over. She ignored the wet dripping and squelching noises as different pieces came away under his talented hands, focused more on the way he only had to hold his hand out and Clint knew what to put there. Whether it was another silver pick for the fingernails, a fine blade or the pliers to hold something in place, they were in perfect synch with each other. It was almost hypnotic to watch.

Natasha heard the door open and close, and Thor’s massive arms wind about her waist.

“We tracked down the rest of his crew and the _Scarlet Witch_ ,” he whispered in her ear, not wanting to interrupt Coulson, who was currently working on Stone’s feet. “We tied them to their cannonballs and dropped them overboard. The sharks were already circling after the third was dropped.”

“And the ship,” she whispered back, not taking her eyes off where Coulson was wiping his blade on a rag, before handing it back to Clint in exchange for what looked like a small silver cage filled with sharp teeth-like points, which he knelt forward to attach to Stone’s –

“We burnt it and sank the remains,” Thor replied over the sounds of Stone’s renewed screaming, thrashing and whimpering. Natasha nodded and leant back against her husband’s chest. He snorted as he looked over at Stone. “That device is rather terrifyingly ingenious. I assume it’s function is to prohibit men such as this from ever being able to have their way with another again?”

Natasha smirked, and knew Thor would know she was. “Mhmm,” she agreed softly. “Not like there’s much point considering they’re nearly done here. I believe it’s about the principle of the thing, now. Then we shall chain his feet to a pair of cannonballs and leave him at shore. It is almost time for the tides to change. We shall let the high tide rise and the ocean take him.”

There was a sharp _snick_ behind them and Stone’s screams reached a pitch that almost hurt her ears before tapering off into harsh gagging sounds and panting.

“We’re done, milady,” Coulson said politely, standing and tossing a rag on to Stone’s lap. The fabric quickly soaked through with blood, and she grinned at him. “What shall we do with him, ma’am?”

“Strap his feet to cannonballs. We’re going to drop him, and let the tide come in.” Clint nodded and disappeared out the backdoor.

Coulson nodded, set the little cage with it’s piece of flesh within it on the table and walked over to his satchel again, coming back with a length of rope.

“Will that hold?” Thor asked him, and Coulson gave him that same bland little smile.

“Of course it will, sir. I designed it.” He knelt down and began winding the rope around Stone’s legs and ankles as Clint returned with a large rock in his hands.

“There were no cannonballs around,” he said with a shrug, and placed the rock at Stone’s feet. The man seemed to be unconscious. “So I got this. It weighs about the same.”

“It will suffice,” Coulson remarked absentmindedly as Clint lifted Stone’s feet onto the rock. “Nicely done, Clint.” Clint grinned up at him and held Stone’s feet in place.

Natasha snorted quietly. Clint was so easily pleased with a word or two of praise from Coulson. She watched them bind Stone’s feet to the rock with practiced ease and the kind of unity rarely seen outside of a well-established relationship. They worked seamlessly together in everything they did, and it made Natasha proud. Their reputation in Rutherglenn had been well earned. Clint and Coulson were the men you called in for the jobs that no one else would touch. They’d broken Eastern Kings and commanders, obtained the information that had helped James end the war.

If someone said it couldn’t be done, they would send Clint and Coulson. And when she’d been married to Thor, they’d appeared in the hall a week later as though they’d always been there. James had sent a letter to say that they were missing, but he had no doubts as to where they were, and asked her to keep him informed of their movements. They were loyal and honorable, and she loved them fiercely.

“Clint,” she said softly and moved away from Thor’s embrace. “Help Thor and Coulson move him to the boat and take him out to the point we discussed. I will fetch Loki and Tony, and we’ll go home. If we don’t linger, we can catch the evening tide and be home within the week.”

Clint gave her a sharp nod, and Thor strode over to where Stone was still unconscious, but with his legs and feet expertly bound to the large rock. She watched as he hefted him over one shoulder and grimaced at the blood that covered his shirt.

“I’ll have to burn that,” he grumbled. “Shame. I liked that shirt.” Clint snorted in amusement and opened the backdoor.

“C’mon cranky pants,” he grinned. “Let’s go drop off our bundle and get outta here.”

“Shall we leave a message, ma’am?” Coulson asked quietly.

“Purge it. Leave nothing but ashes.” Coulson nodded and moved to clean and repack his bag.

“Of course, ma’am.”

Natasha smiled and made her way out of the kitchen. Coulson would take care of what needed to be done now. She could hear Tony’s quiet voice coming from the entryway, and peered around the corner silently.

Loki was sitting on the small chest by the front door; Tony curled up in his lap with nothing but a thin nightshirt on, and Loki’s cloak wrapped about his shoulders. He had his head buried in Loki’s neck, and she could see the tremors that ran through his body. He was talking softly, and she could hear the words ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘so long’ repeated often, but couldn’t make out the rest. Loki had an unreadable expression on his face, but he simply tightened his grip on Tony and shook his head.

“Please don’t, darling,” he whispered, and Natasha felt almost a little guilty about eavesdropping when she caught the tone of pain and love in his voice. “None of this was your fault. My mother is alive, and you are with me again.”

“But - ” Natasha watched as Loki pulled Tony closer again and hushed him gently.

“No. All the blame for this is on Stone and all the others who have involved themselves. And we will hunt them down when you’re home and safe.”

She moved on silent feet to stand with her back against the wall, giving the two men a few more moments alone together. Her mind was whirling however. Plans to find this Obadiah that Stone had spoken of while Clint and Coulson worked, plans to find Tony’s Sir Rhodes and clear his name. She bit absently at her fingernails while she thought. The easiest way to take care of the problem would be the worst way as well.

If they used Tony as bait, sent him back to Iron Reach, it would be the easiest way to draw the rest of the conspirators involved out, whether they were connected or not. And while Stone had been more than forthcoming with the information he knew while Coulson was _encouraging_ him to talk, there was still one thing that they didn’t know enough about to move forward with yet. _Who_ had been the woman to kill Howard? When she had told Stone that he’d been dead for months, the man had almost snapped his neck shaking his head in denial.

The voices around the corner fell silent, and she peeked around at them. They hadn’t moved, but Tony seemed to have calmed down some. She stepped out and cleared her throat quietly.

“We need to be going, Antosha,” she said kindly. “Are you able to walk?”

Tony gave a small nod, and Loki shifted so that he was helping to hold him up as they stood slowly. Tony’s legs gave a wobble, but he stayed upright, and Natasha felt so proud of him. She could see the bruises along his legs and face and knew that they’d come at the last minute. From what Stone had been babbling at the beginning with Coulson, he’d been planning on forcing himself on Tony tonight.

 _“He’s mine, he’s ready, that prissy Prince will have him well taught by now! He’s_ **_mine!_ ** _”_

Her gut still churned with rage at the memory, and she’d had to step outside so that she didn’t kill him prematurely. A quick death at her hands was more than he deserved.

“Wh-where is he?” Tony’s voice was small and shaky, but he met her eyes and she smiled at him.

“You will be able to wave goodbye as we sail past,” she replied. “His head will still be visible.”

Tony gave a single jerky nod, and leant his weight against Loki. “Will you take me home now? Please?”

“Oh my love,” Loki whispered, and kissed his bruised cheek softly. “Let’s go home.”

Natasha stepped forward and opened the front door. “After you, gentlemen,” she gave an exaggerated bow as they walked past, and winked at Tony as he gave a small snort of laughter.

She closed the door behind her without a second glance.

Coulson was waiting for them, a lit torch in his hand. She nodded as she walked past, and he threw it lightly onto the ground, the almost invisible trail of oil leading to the house catching fast. Tony turned back once at the massive _whooshing_ sound as the house caught, but Loki tugged him forward again. Natasha watched for a moment, before she turned her back on it and followed her family back to the ship.

Tony spat in the water when they went past Stone, and turned his back to him, ignoring the drowning mans gurgled shouts and begging. Loki didn’t look at him at all. She grinned and gave a jaunty flutter of her fingers at him as a wave crested over his head.

She looked back only once as they climbed aboard _Ragnarok,_ but he was gone from view.

**~*~**

Anthony was content to let Loki lead him below deck and into their rooms. Loki was a little concerned about how quiet and passive he was, but he knew to leave him be for now. The last thing that he wanted to do was to spook Anthony. He’d been nearly hysterical for a short time when they walked downstairs and he saw the headless corpse at the base of the stairs. Loki had mistakenly thought that it was the sight of the corpse itself, but Anthony had managed to get out that he was _happy_ that man was dead. He was the one who’d walked him out of the party and beaten him the first time.

Anthony sat silently on the bed and looked around the room with tired eyes. Loki took the dirty cloak from his shoulders and tossed it into the corner of the room to deal with later. The nightshirt he’d be sending to be burnt or thrown overboard. He’d already asked that they have a bath ready for Anthony before they left the ship, and he was pleased to see one set up behind the small privacy screen opposite the bed.

“Darling,” he knelt in front of Anthony and gently took his hands. “Would you like to have a bath? I’ve brought all your own soaps and clothes.”

Loki watched as Anthony’s eyes lit up for the first time since he’d been found in that room and he nodded enthusiastically. “Oh Gods, yes, please. They let me wash there but it wasn’t often and the soap was mostly lye.” He twitched his fingers in Loki’s grip. “I feel as though my hands are all rough from it.”

Loki suppressed the chuckle that wanted to escape at that, and simply stroked his husband’s bruised and scratched hands. “I feel no such thing,” he said with a kiss to each bloodied palm. “Come now and have your bath, and I will lay out your clothes.”

He turned around as Anthony moved over to the tub and did his best to ignore the sound of the nightshirt hitting the floor and the almost indecent moan Anthony gave as he sank into the deep tub of steaming water. He could smell the familiar and comforting scent of Anthony’s favored soap filling the room and breathed easy for the first time in almost a month. He busied himself taking Anthony’s clothing out and shaking the creases from them, before laying them out on the bed and taking his towel over to drape on the screen.

There was a small splashing noise and then Anthony’s quiet voice. “Loki? Could you, um, can you wash my hair for me?”

Loki’s mouth went dry and he stumbled where he was standing. Anthony shifted in the water again, and clearly took his silence for a no. “It-it’s okay. I mean, it can wait. It’s just a-a bit painful for me to raise my arms properly. I can, um, I can ask Thor if you don’t mind finding him?”

Loki shook his head and walked over to the screen, swallowing heavily as he did. “I can do it,” he answered eventually, scrunching his nose a little at how hoarse his voice was. Gods be damned but Anthony just had that effect on him.

“Oh, um, thank you.” More splashing and Loki cleared his throat.

“Is it okay for me to walk behind the screen?”

“Yeah…”

Loki took a deep breath and walked slowly around the screen to where the tub sat. Anthony’s back was to him, and Loki could see the flush that went down his neck and across his collarbone. His hair hung in damp curls brushing his shoulders, and clinging to his cheeks and neck. Anthony had his knees drawn up to his chest, and his arms wrapped around them.

“I, um… you shouldn’t be able t-to see… um, anything,” he mumbled, and Loki could only watch as that delectable red flush spread further across his face. “Sorry if this is awkward for you.”

Loki sighed softly and sat on the small stool beside the tub, running his fingers through the damp tangled mess of Anthony’s hair. “Darling, you’re my husband. We’ve been wed almost three seasons. Nothing between us happens unless you are completely comfortable.” Loki reached beside him and tipped a generous puddle of Anthony’s shampoo into his palm, before he brought his hands back up to his husband’s head and started to work the shampoo through the wet curls. Anthony groaned and tipped his head back into Loki’s hands.

“By the _Nine_ ,” he moaned. “I’d forgotten how nice it feels to be properly clean.”

Loki laughed a little at that, and scraped his nails gently against Anthony’s scalp as he scrubbed the shampoo through. Anthony groaned again and Loki grinned. “Now now,” he teased. “If you continue to make those noises the rest of the ship are going to think we’re up to something more wicked than a bath.”

Anthony sputtered and squirmed around to glare at him over his shoulder, and Loki couldn’t help the quick glance he gave to all that exposed skin. “Eyes on my face, Loki,” he teased right back. Loki just smirked in reply and gestured for him to turn around again. The back and forth banter between them had a new edge to it, a _something_ that they wouldn’t be able to ignore for much longer. But for right now, Loki was just glad to have Anthony back where he belonged.

“Lean backwards, and I’ll rinse it out for you,” he said softly, and Anthony didn’t bother to reply, simply angling his head back towards Loki as requested and closing his eyes. Loki tipped warm water through his hair and washed the shampoo out, combing through the tangles with his fingers as he did. He unconsciously swept his hand over the back of Anthony’s head, smoothing his hair down and trailed over the tops of his shoulders and down his arm to dip just below the water and lightly stroke at his wrist. He felt the pulse racing under his fingertips and pressed carefully on it, relishing in the shiver that went through Anthony as he did.

“Loki…” Anthony’s voice was a tiny, wrecked whisper and Loki jerked back as though he’d been burnt.

“Forgive me,” he breathed, shocked and feeling suddenly lost, and stood swiftly from his stool. “I will let you dress and dry.” He walked quickly to the room door and left before Anthony could get another word out.

He’d almost gone too far, without meaning to. Distracted by his husband’s bare skin and reactions, the thundering of his own pulse in time with Anthony’s had been hypnotic. Loki shoved his hands through his hair, yanking out the leather strap that had been holding his braid in place, and walked with quick, jerky steps to the deck. With a heavy sigh he stopped at the same railing he’d leant at only a few nights before, when Thor had found him. The night he’d read Anthony’s book and realized his feelings. It felt like it had been _weeks_ , not mere days.

He didn’t flinch or move when Anthony came to lean beside him, staring out over the dark ocean before them, the full moon appearing half-risen from its inky depths. Anthony didn’t move or speak, seeming content to simply be in Loki’s presence, and Loki was happy to simply be silent for a moment. He felt the wind as it wound through his hair, tangling it together and whipping his face. He could feel the heat from Anthony’s body where he was leaning close, and feel the faint spray of the water as the ship gained speed in the winds that were picking up. The sounds and smells of the ship and his husband were all around him, consuming him, and Loki suddenly just felt tired.

“I’m sorry.” Loki flinched back at that, and turned to stare in confusion at Anthony. His husband hadn’t taken his eyes off the moon or the water, but Loki could see that he looked… almost sad. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable back there. I-I was, um,” he paused and licked his lips, and Loki could no more help the way his eyes traced the movement then he could help drawing his next breath or his heart beating again. “I… I enjoyed it. Y-your hands on me, I mean,” Anthony finished on a barely audible whisper and blushed.

Loki stared at him, and opened his mouth before closing it again almost immediately. There were very few times in his life that he’d been left speechless, and this was one of them. Anthony glanced over at him briefly, before turning his eyes back to the water.

“I am sorry if that… I didn’t mean to make you run,” he said very quietly in the same tone of voice that one would use to avoid spooking a timid horse. “I was just relaxed and it was so nice to be touched by someone who cares. I’ve missed you so much, Loki.” He swallowed nervously, and traced absent patterns on the wood of the railing with his fingertips, still never moving his eyes from the ocean. “I dreamt of you almost every night,” he continued in that same quiet voice. “I thought of you when they were hurting me, imagined you storming in and striking them down. I spent every night wishing I was in our bed with y-y-your arms around me.”

Loki moved then, hearing the hitch in Anthony’s breathing and voice and seeing the glint of the moonlight on the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. He pulled Anthony into his arms and held him firmly, one hand gripping him tight about the waist and the other gripping the back of his neck, pressing Anthony’s face into his neck. “Gods Loki,” he breathed brokenly into his neck, and Loki tightened his grip a little more, not caring that he might leave bruises. “I just… I just wanted to come home. I just needed you so much, and they kept telling me all the aw-awful things that he was going to do to me. He c-c-called me _pet_ and kept telling me how lovely I was going to look leashed and kneeling before him. G-good for nothing but servicing him as required.”

Anthony’s legs wobbled then, and Loki caught him, resting his entire weight back against the railings and letting Anthony lean on him completely. They stayed there a long while, Anthony’s fear and grief at the last few weeks making its way to the surface as he shook and sobbed in Loki’s arms. Eventually though, the tears slowed, and his breathing slowed and steadied. Anthony’s arms moved from where they’d been gripping the front of his shirt to gently wind about his waist, and Loki pressed him closer still.

“I’ve got you now,” he whispered into Anthony’s ear, and kissed his tear-streaked cheeks. “And I will _never_ let you go. You’re mine, and I am yours.”

“Yours,” Anthony exhaled against his neck and Loki nodded. “Only yours.”

Loki kissed his hair and nodded again. “As you wish.”

Anthony gave a small sniffle in his arms and tipped his head back to stare Loki in the face, a small smile on his lips. “My Buttercup,” he murmured and pressed his lips softly to Loki’s.

**~*~**


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Planning, plotting and fluff

**~*~**

 

Tony was content to stay where he was for the rest of his life. He was warm, he was comfortable and he never, ever wanted to move again. Loki’s arms were tight around his waist and their bare chests were comfortably pressed together, their heads sharing the same pillow. Tony wiggled around a little and was stupidly pleased when Loki tightened his hold on him and grumbled something into his hair before drifting off again. He most  _ definitely  _ was never going to move again. 

He couldn’t remember much past their kisses on the deck, the adrenaline and excitement of the day finally catching up with him as they stood there. He remembered vaguely that Loki had tried to pull away, to sleep on the other side of the bed, and that he’d… protested. Loudly. And then he’d torn Loki’s shirt when he’d tried to move to undress. So they’d slept in nothing but their trousers and Tony didn’t think he’d ever been happier. He let his hands wander over Loki’s back, memorizing and enjoying the broad expanse of muscle underneath his fingers. He traced the lines of Loki’s shoulder blades and followed the curve of his spine, resting his fingers lightly in the dimples at the base, not daring yet to go any further. 

Loki made a content and pleased noise from above him, and Tony flushed at being caught, and  buried his nose in Loki’s collarbone. “I must say that this is a most pleasant way to wake up.” Loki’s voice was husky and thick with sleep, and Tony felt as though his entire body was suddenly on fire. Loki just gave a quiet huff of laughter and nuzzled his face into Tony’s hair and sighed sleepily. “Go back to sleep my love,” he said, and yawned. “It’s still far too dark out for you to be awake.”

Tony nodded and kissed where his face was resting, feeling the way Loki’s body gave a brief shiver at the touch. He smiled and closed his eyes again, content and warm in his husbands embrace. Stone would never be able to touch him again. The others that were after him would never get close to him, and they would clear Sir James’ name soon enough. Things were finally looking positive for the first time since Howard had been killed.

The next time he opened his eyes the sun had risen and Loki was propped up on the pillows beside him, a book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. He blinked and yawned, scrubbing a hand over face and trying to bring the room into focus around him.

“Good morning,” Loki smiled at him, placing his cup and book down beside him. “Do you want some coffee, darling?” Tony just nodded and tried to keep his eyes open. Mornings were the worst. He sniffed appreciatively at the smell of the pastries and coffee on Loki’s bedside, and tried valiantly to make himself sit up.

“Loki,” he whined, managing to drag the last syllable out for quite a while. “Help me?” He gave an exaggerated pout and then yelped in shock when Loki suddenly yanked him upright, adjusting the pillows behind him with a smirk. “No fair,” Tony grumbled, but he took the steaming cup of coffee Loki handed him with a pleased sigh. “Oh,” he took another sip. “This tastes just like Cookie Kanil makes it!”

Loki chuckled and drank some more of his own before he answered. “That’s because she  _ did _ make it. She’s in the galley, giving the ship’s cook hell about the state of his kitchen.”

Tony snorted his coffee out his nose as he tried not to laugh, before giving up and laughing loudly. He flapped his hand a moment as he tried to catch his breath. “My Gods,” he wheezed. “Did she get him with the skillet? I’ve seen her clunk so many skulls with that thing it could almost be an actual weapon in her hands!”

He heard as Loki inhaled a crumb beside him, and laughed again at the sputtering and choking noises. “Y-you can’t be serious,” Loki rasped. “A  _ skillet _ ? How has she not killed anyone?”

“She says it’s all in the swing,” Tony grinned. “There’s a reason the maids are so respectful to her!”

“By the Nine,” Loki eventually managed. “Remind me to never irritate that woman.”

“Oh I wouldn’t worry,” Tony said flippantly, sipping at his wonderful coffee. “You’ve irritated her plenty and you’re still here.”

Loki just wheezed and sat his pastry down with a distrustful look. Tony laughed again, feeling lighter and happier than he had in weeks.

Loki glared half-heartedly at him, and shook his head. “I fear the day you two decide to conspire,” he said, picking his coffee back up and taking a drink, nose wrinkling at the half-cold dregs that were left. “We should be home day after tomorrow, according to the captain. We’ve caught strong winds.”

_ Home _ . Tony drank the last of his own still-warm coffee with a smile that he thought would never leave his face. Seeing Frigga and Odin, walking the familiar halls of Aysgarth again and being in their rooms.

“That sounds  _ perfect _ ,” he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the sensation of being safe and full and warm just sink in again.

“Are you well, love?”

Tony turned and smiled dopily at Loki. “I am,” he replied. “I’m just  _ happy _ .”

Loki returned his smile and tangled their fingers together on the bed. “I’m glad.” He gave Tony’s hand a squeeze, and sighed a little. “We’re going to see Natasha and Thor later. Natasha wants to know what you learnt from Stone, and plan how to apprehend this Obadiah.”

Tony grumbled, but nodded anyway. “I know that Natasha will want to use me to draw him out,” he said with a resigned sigh. “It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“I agree. But there will be precautions in place, and guards. And me.” Tony stroked his thumb over the back of Loki’s hand and hummed in agreement. “I’m serious, Anthony.” Loki shifted himself around so that he was lying on his side facing Tony, the hand that wasn’t holding Tony’s coming up to rest on his cheek. “You won’t be going anywhere without me.” 

And didn’t that just make everything seem suddenly brighter again. Tony could feel as the stress he hadn’t realised he was already carrying left him, his mood picking back up and his smile coming easier. Loki smiled back at him, a small but genuine thing, and Tony loved him so very much in that moment that he didn’t hesitate at all to lean forward and press their mouths together in a messy kiss. He wiggled himself around and tossed the blankets to the side so he could climb on top of Loki and lay his head over his heartbeat, twisting their legs together and letting his hands follow the slopes and planes of Loki’s chest and stomach.

“Anthony?” Loki’s voice was hoarse but steady. “Love, are you quite alright there?”

Tony grinned and rubbed his nose along Loki’s chest. “Am I not allowed to take liberties with my husband in our bed?” he teased, and nipped gently at Loki’s collarbone. “Hmm?”

The only response he got was a deep growl that he felt vibrate the chest underneath his head and Loki flipped them suddenly, pinning Tony to the bed beneath him. He was flushed and his pupils blown, and Tony thought he’d never looked more beautiful. 

“Loki?” His husband just grinned down at him.

“I thought we were done with our conversation, darling? Was it not you that derailed the direction of our chat away from plans and plots to this?” Loki’s grin was a wicked thing and Tony shivered underneath it. He groaned when Loki leant forward and bit softly at the side of his neck. “Or do you think that we can finish our conversation now? Perhaps this - ” another gentle bite to the other side of his neck and Tony thought he was going to go insane “ – is something we best finish at home, hm?”

Tony nodded and gasped as Loki bit him again, less than gently and rolled off him and onto the bed. He lay there for a moment before sitting up and swinging his legs to the floor. “Come along then, Anthony,” and Tony was pleased to hear his voice sounded as wrecked as Tony felt. “Let’s get dressed and find Natasha.”

“I swear you were a vampire in another life,” he muttered as he rubbed at his neck, and Loki just winked at him.

“Perhaps. Maybe I’m just feeling possessive.” Tony blushed and pulled the blankets back over his head, ignoring Loki’s laughter. He grinned to himself in his dark little cocoon.

His life was nothing like how he’d pictured it as a boy, but he wouldn’t change a thing. He had a husband who loved him; a family who cared and showed it and Howard was finally gone from his life. He was free from Iron Reach Manor and the dark empty halls he’d grown up in. He poked his head out of his blankets and watched as Loki tied off his vest and fastened his belt about his waist. The dark purple of his shirt and the silver patterns in the matching vest looked incredible against his pale skin, and Tony gave a harsh swallow. He chewed on his lip absently as he watched Loki move about the cabin as he got ready for the day.

Perhaps it was time to talk to Natasha alone. She had given him a book from the library but he’d been too embarrassed to read it after Loki had left him at the altar. There was no doubt in his mind that  _ Loki _ knew what to do, but he wanted to be prepared. And that made him flush all over for a different reason. He peeked back out and saw Loki giving him a knowing look, and poked his tongue out childishly, feeling his stomach flutter when Loki only laughed at him.

They’d come so far together now, their relationship grown and changed with each obstacle and mess they’d found themselves in. Loki had changed so much that Tony struggled to see anything of the man that he’d first met. He felt a warm and content feeling settle over him as Loki gently untangled him from the blankets and chivvied him off to the chair where he’d laid out Tony’s clothes for him. He dressed slowly, and Loki simply sat on the bed and waited for him. There was no sense of urgency, no rushing to be anywhere.

His life was… good. The last month admittedly was something he could’ve happily lived without, but even in that Tony could see the silver lining. It had been awful and painful to be taken from Loki and Aysgarth thinking that Frigga was dead, but he’d never lost the hope that he would be rescued. Every night he was gone he dreamt of Loki finding him and taking him home, of Loki just holding him and talking with him. He had held onto the faint hope that Loki had genuinely cared for him enough to save him. Had held onto the hope that he was  _ worth _ saving.

He glanced over at where his husband was still sitting, his hands busy braiding his hair back over his shoulder and Tony was moving before he realised what was happening. He threw his arms around Loki’s neck and hid his face in his shoulder.

“Anthony? What - ”

“I love you.” He felt as Loki went stiff underneath him but pushed forward anyway. “And I know we’ve never said that, and I know that you know that I’ve known how I’ve felt and I know that you know that things were hard and - ” Loki’s hand came up to rest carefully over his mouth, and Tony took the hint and stopped talking.

“You’re rambling, darling.” Tony could only nod, and Loki smiled at him, pulling Tony into his lap and arranging them so he was sitting with his legs on either side of Loki’s thighs, his husband’s hand still over his mouth. “Are you going to stop if I remove my hand?” Tony nodded again and Loki moved his hand.

“Sorry,” he mumbled and ducked his head, shame creeping over him. “I, um, I’ve been… this morning, I mean. I’ve been too f-forward, I think.”

Tony could feel as Loki shook his head. “Actually,” he said quietly, gripping Tony’s chin gently and tipping his face up to look him in the eye. “I think that you’ve said and done things that you wanted to do, and now you have the courage to do it.” Tony blinked rapidly against the sudden feeling of prickling heat behind his eyes at the look on Loki’s face. “And I think you are so very brave, my Anthony.” He smiled at Tony and kissed him gently. “And know that I love you, too. I will endeavour to show you that everyday for the rest of our lives. You have my word.”

Tony felt as though he was floating. Loki was holding him to his chest, neither of them speaking, just sitting quietly and listening to the sound of each others heartbeat and the crew moving around them and the ship rocking them gently.

“Thank you, Anthony.” Tony jerked his head up from where he’d let it fall against Loki’s shoulder.

“Wha-  _ what for _ ?”

Loki pressed their heads together and stroked his hair. “For not giving up on me. For not letting my selfishness destroy this before it had a chance to start. And for loving me through it all.”

“But… but that wasn’t… I mean, what else would I do?” he muttered. “I don’t understand… what else should I have done?”

“And that is what makes you so remarkable,” Loki said, kissing him on his cheek and gently standing Tony on his feet, before standing himself. “You don’t even realise that what you’ve done is so entirely different to what any other person in your position would have done.”

Tony followed him over to the door, a confused frown on his face. “But - ” Loki hushed him and Tony just sighed. “I’m not going to get more of an explanation than that am I?”

“Do you need one?”

Tony paused in the doorway, and thought for a moment. Did he? It was enough wasn’t it, just to  _ know _ that Loki really did love him and was grateful that he’d not given up on them. To know that what they had now was good, and they were happy and it was  _ enough _ .

“No… I don’t.”

**~*~**

Thor was still bitter about the lack of a true battle at any point during Anthony’s rescue, so Loki left him where he was and steered his husband over to where Natasha was sitting with Coulson on the other side of the dining table, a steaming pot of tea between them and scrolls of parchment strewn over the small table. The galley was a large and open feeling space on the second deck, the enormous window open to let the fresh sea air in and Loki watched as Anthony glanced around in awe. And he saw the moment his eyes landed on Miss Kanil.

“ _ Kanil! _ ” He took off from Loki’s side and threw himself at the stout little woman who caught him as though he weighed nothing more than a small child.

“Oh Tony, ya little fiend! You’ve got to stop doin’ this to my heart. I’m an old woman ya know, I can’t take the stress of this again, ya hearin’ me laddie?” Anthony nodded his head where it was firmly pressed into her bosom and tightened his grip around her waist. There was a muffled sound that Loki assumed was words, and he watched in amusement as Kanil simply rolled her eyes and kissed Anthony soundly on the head.

“Ya wee fool,” she grumbled. “Ain’t no bother to me to come aboard a floatin’ death trap to find ya. Besides, this galley was a bloody mess. Its cook needed a good thunkin’ with a skillet and a proper lesson in cleanin’.” Anthony’s shoulders shook with laughter and Loki grinned as well, and he moved to sit with Natasha and Coulson, leaving Anthony with Kanil.

He gave a brief nod to Coulson and dragged the closest scroll to him, scanning it over quickly. It was the information they’d collected from Tiberius Stone and his men. Stone had been rather candid about his plans for Anthony once Coulson began his work, and Clint had taken careful notes about everything he said. Loki felt the rage from earlier curl in his gut again and his blood felt like it was boiling as he skimmed the paper.

_ Plans to abscond with Tony to Iron Reach and claim the lands. Kill Howard and the Manor staff in front of Tony. Has not touched Tony - yet – claims to be waiting for the right time in the ‘Gods Eyes’. _

Stone had clearly been deranged, and Loki could only feel grateful that they’d gotten there in time, as apparently he’d decided that the right time to take his husband against his will had been that night. There was something about the moon and the hidden power in it. Loki looked at where Anthony was now standing with his hands clasped behind his back, his body resting against her back and his chin on Kanil’s shoulder as she fussed about with a tray on the bench, their soft laughter and conversation bringing a smile to his face.

“It gets worse,” Coulson said quietly, and Loki looked up at him. “I’d suggest not reading further, sir.” Loki gave a weary nod and shoved the papers away, slumping back in his seat as he did. “If you’d like, sir, I can summarise?”

“No, thank you Coulson.” The other man nodded and Loki looked to his sister in law. “Natasha. What is our plan here?”

She gave him a rather grim smile and tossed her bright red hair back over her shoulder. “We’re going to use Tony to draw Obadiah out of his hidey hole and kill him and the woman who murdered Howard Stark.”

“Who’re we killing?” Loki glanced up as Anthony wandered over and sat in the seat beside him. He made no move to read or touch the papers on the table, choosing instead to focus his attention on Loki. “Is this about Obadiah?” At Loki’s nod, he leant back in his chair and frowned. “Natasha, I already told Loki that using me as bait here would work the best. Do you agree?” She nodded and Anthony turned his focus to Coulson. “Mister Coulson sir, do you think you and Clint could help to come up with a plan to keep me safe while we do this? I’d rather not be taken for a month again,” he said with a tired smile.

“You can call me Phil,” Coulson said quietly, ignoring the stunned look Natasha gave him. “It’s considered something of an honor in our homeland to address one another by their first names outside of the family unit. I’d be pleased if you would do me this honor as you do with Clint and milady.”

Loki hid a smile in his shoulder as Anthony gaped for a moment, before furiously nodding his head. “O-o-of course Coul-um, no, Phil.  _ Thank you _ !” Coulson simply nodded at him again before gesturing to the papers before them.

“Clint and I will be by your side the entire time as your new personal Knights. There is no chance that we will be recognised and as such, will be able to follow you without arousing suspicion. It would be more curious if you were to go back without your husband’s knights accompanying you.” Coulson’s voice was his usual calm and even tone, and Loki found himself glad of it. There was just something so  _ steady _ about the man considering what it was that he actually did.

Anthony was frowning and chewing on the side of his thumb as he stared unseeing at the papers. “If you are knights,” he said slowly, thumb never leaving his mouth. “Then how do we find and clear Sir James?”

“I can answer that,” Clint said cheerfully, dropping himself into the seat beside Coulson and grinning over at Anthony. “We’re gonna kill everyone involved in framing him and expose your dad’s naughty secrets. With the letter from Jarvis and the proof we’ll get from Obadiah when we catch him, your Knight will be free in no time.”

Coulson cleared his throat a little, and Clint sat back with a bashful grin. “Okay, so that was the  _ really _ simplified version, but really… it’s just a matter of getting the evidence and  _ then _ we take care of Obadiah.”

Natasha snorted, and Loki chuckled as Anthony started. He’d clearly forgotten she was there. “Don’t worry, Antosha. We’ll get your friend cleared, and everything will be over and done with before the Spring planting is done.”

There was a murmur of agreement around the table, and Anthony slipped his hand into Loki’s, his eyes searching his for reassurance.

“Trust us, my love,” he said softly. “We’re never going to let anyone take you away again. We’ll fix all this and be home again within a week.”

Anthony nodded and Loki rubbed his thumb along his husband’s knuckles. It made his whole being feel light when Anthony reached out to him for comfort like this. To know that he trusted him enough to be honest about anything was a heady feeling, and not one Loki ever wanted to give up. He knew that the trust between them now had been hard won for Anthony, and something that he’d never thought to truly gain. But Loki trusted him now more than he’d ever trusted anyone that wasn’t his immediate family.

There was nothing he wouldn’t do to keep Anthony safe now. He’d burn the world to see him smile. Loki thought of the small box he’d stashed in his bag and the odd gemstone hidden in it. He’d heard what Stone had said about it, calling it Hel’s Heart and the story of how it had fallen from the stars. He’d wondered if perhaps it might help to soothe the nightmares that Anthony still had on occasion about the star in his chest. At any rate, it would make for a beautiful paperweight if he didn’t wish to wear it.

This last month had taught him more about himself then he’d realised. He had difficulty sleeping alone now, missing the warmth of his husband curled beside him, his legs tangled with Loki’s and the blankets wrapped around them both. He’d missed the way Anthony would mumble in his sleep and tug Loki ever closer as he slept; missed the way his hair would tickle his nose as he tried to wake up. He’d missed Anthony in a way he’d never missed another person before.

There was something almost humbling about realising how completely intertwined with another person’s very being he’d become. All of his favourite places had lost their appeal when he went alone, the library had felt drafty and unwelcoming for the first time in his memory. Nothing had tasted right, and his appetite had diminished. Without his notice, Anthony had become an integral part of his very existence.

And now that he had him back, all Loki wanted to do was to take them home to Aysgarth and spend the rest of his life making Anthony smile. He wanted to read to him, and laze about in bed. To ride their horses and explore the castle grounds together as they grew old side by side. And he wanted so desperately to spit upon Howard Stark’s remains. How a man that vile had had any part in the raising of such an extraordinary man as his husband was baffled Loki.

“So, we’re to go directly to Iron Reach then?” Anthony’s voice was weary and small, and Loki kissed the hand he was holding as Coulson nodded.

“Yes, I think that’s for the best. We’ll go directly there – and if we drop enough gold at the Iron Reach Harbor, then the word will spread all the faster that you’ve returned, and we’re more likely to get our hands on Obadiah sooner than later.”

Clint nodded. “Exactly. And the faster we get him in a room with me and Phil…” he trailed off with a wicked smile. “The faster you two can get home.” He shot Loki a lecherous wink and leaned forward on his elbow to smirk at them. “The walls on this ship are thin, y’know,” he teased. “So the sooner we get this done, the sooner you two can get home and finish what you clearly started this morning, judging from the moaning and groani- _ oof! _ ” A sharp jab to his ribs from Coulson’s elbow had Clint wheezing apologies and holding his ribs gingerly. 

“Bully,” he muttered under his breath and crept away from the table to sit back with Thor, casting the occasional wounded look at Coulson. Loki rolled his eyes and wasn’t surprised to see the flush on Anthony’s face.

“B-b-be that as it m-may,” Anthony said, his face burning and his eyes firmly on the table. “It, um, it’s not… I’m just worried about this Obadiah. I’ve never met him, I don’t know what he’s capable of.”

“Which is why we all will be close by at all times,” Natasha replied. She reached across the table and petted their joined hands. “You won’t be alone, Tony.”

“Thank you,” he whispered and Loki leant over and kissed his cheek. “I’m so sorry to have dragged you all into my father’s mess.”

Natasha waved a hand as though swatting a bug. “It’s of no concern,” she said as though they were discussing nothing more than the weather. “Now. We’ll be in Iron Reach day after tomorrow. Go and rest. You need it, both of you.”

Loki agreed, and tugged Anthony up out of his seat with a nod and smile to Natasha. They made their way slowly back to the cabin, Anthony dragging his feet a little as they walked. Loki closed the door firmly behind them, and manoeuvred Anthony onto the bed, removing his boots and laying him back on the pillows before he fetched the beaten copy of  _ The Princess Bride _ from his bag.

“I love you,” he said, keeping his voice low and calm. “And you love me. So I’m going to read to you from this book and we’re going to rest until we land in Iron Reach. Alright?”

Anthony nodded tiredly, and Loki quickly shucked his own boots before getting comfortable beside Anthony, pulling him close to rest on his shoulder, tucking him under his arm before he began to read.

**~*~**


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plot most idiotic is foiled and love conquers all <3

_**~*~** _

It looked almost exactly the same.

Tony wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, except that maybe something  _ somewhere _ would look different now that his father was gone. But, aside from a few new flowerbeds by the front door, nothing looked any different. The windows were still covered by dark drapes, and the front door was still a massive wooden thing covered in brass studs that sent chills down his spine.

His father called it a Manor. But Tony had always thought it was more like a fortress or a prison.

“Are you alright, kitten?” Tony looked over his shoulder and gave Thor a tiny smile.

“I’m fine,” he said, turning back to the Manor. “I just hate it here. It feels like I’ve never left.”

The door swung open and revealed an older man with grey hair swept back tidily, his black suit crisp and pressed, shoes shined and well kept.

“Welcome back, young Sir.”

“Jarvis!” Tony leapt forward and let the man who’d practically raised him pull him into a tight hug. “Oh it is so good to see you!”

Jarvis tightened his own arms around him and sighed. “It’s wonderful to see you as well, young Sir. You’ve been missed.” He stepped back, but kept his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “You look well. Aysgarth and marriage suit you well.”

Tony beamed at him, and peered behind him. “Where is Ana?”

“I’m right here!” Tony barely had time to take a breath before he had his arms full of Ana. Her white blonde hair and the faint scent of lavender and chamomile that clung to her was the same as it had been since he was a child. “Oh, my little love, you look fantastic! Look at how beautiful you are, I feel as though I’ve not seen you in  _ years _ .”

Tony felt his ears burning and he hid his face in Ana’s shoulder. “Ana, stop it,” he mumbled. He was answered with Ana’s ringing laughter and grinned to himself. He pulled away and Ana wiped at her eyes and sighed, cupping his cheeks in her hands as she turned his head side to side, looking him over.

“It is  _ so _ wonderful to see you,” she said softly. And then louder and with a  clap of her hands, “Though I feel I should scold you for not writing me. Now! Introductions.”

Tony swept an arm behind him and nodded. “My husband, Loki Asgeir,” Loki stepped forwards and gave a courteous bow that Ana and Jarvis returned. “My sister in law, the Lady Natasha and her husband Crown Prince Thor Asgeir. And my new, um, knights. Sir Phillip and Sir Clinton.” More bowing curtseying and they all made their way inside the Manor behind Jarvis and Ana.

“Your rooms are as you left them, Anthony,” Ana said as she led them through the house and up the central staircase. Tony sighed as they walked past the stiffly posed family paintings that lined the dark halls, and scuffed his feet along the rugs on the floor. He felt as though the light and air of comfort and  _ home  _ that had been everywhere in Aysgarth castle had been stifled and sucked out of the Manor.

It was gloomy and oppressive, and Tony couldn’t help the shudder than ran down his spine as they walked past the room his mother had died in. No matter how long passed, he would never feel comfortable being anywhere near that room. Ana cast him a sympathetic look as they walked past the closed door, and Tony just quickened his pace. Loki and the others all gave the door a curious look, but no one spoke.

“We keep the guest chambers clean and prepared at all times, milords and Lady,” Jarvis said as Ana moved to open the doors to Tony’s rooms. He bit his lip and felt his stomach clench with anxiety. The marks beside the door where his father had had locks added to his door were still there, but had been removed since he left the house. Without thinking or meaning to, Tony reached a hand out and traced over the groove left in his door where the sliding lock sat for so many years.

“If you’d like to freshen up and rest, we’ll serve dinner in a few hours,” Ana said with a polite curtsey. “If there is anything you need, you need only call out.” She winked at Tony, and then she and Jarvis disappeared down the dark hallway.

“Well, this is cheerful,” Clint drawled. “I can’t see at  _ all _ why you would’ve wanted to leave, Tony.”

“Be quiet, Clinton.” Phil’s voice was quiet and Tony felt his spine straighten in response. There was something about that man that just demanded respect. “Master Anthony, if you don’t mind, I will take this little fool to our room and join you all for dinner.”

Tony gave an absent nod and barely noticed when Thor and Tasha also left. His fingers were still tracing the worn groove in the door from the lock and his mind was racing. Being back here, in this house, it felt like he’d never left. It was stifling and crushing him.

“Anthony, love, are those…” Tony gave a single nod, and felt as Loki tensed beside him. “Your father was a  _ vile _ man.”

“Yeah, well. He’s d-dead now, and what’s done is done,” Tony whispered. He snatched his fingers away as though they’d been burnt and pushed the door open.

It was exactly as he’d left it the morning he left for Aysgarth. The piles of books and papers scattered about the room and on his tables, the thinner cloaks he wore on the rare occasions he’d left the Manor before he turned sixteen. There was a pile of folded shirts on his dresser still, and the half-burnt candles strewn around in all the corners of the room. His windows were closed, and the heavy, velvet curtains were drawn. The room was as dark and depressing as it had always been, and Tony felt suddenly as though he were a child again and could hear the sound of the locks clicking and sliding into place as Howard punished him for some imagined slight.

Tony sighed and turned to face Loki and had to do his best not cringe at the rage on his husband’s face. “So… this is where I grew up,” he said with a shrug, aiming for nonchalant and knowing he missed by a mile. “Howard was very much of the opinion children should not be seen nor heard, and his preferred method of punishment was to simply lock the door.”

Loki stomped past him and threw open the curtains, flooding the room in dingy light that struggled through the grime on the windows.

“He, uh. He didn’t like the idea of the maids or anyone cleaning that window in case I decided to use it to send messages somehow,” Tony mumbled. It was like the longer he was here the more just seemed to come out. Tony had not thought his childhood to be that bad, all things considered. He’d had tutors and occasional visits from the children of the council members. And he’d had Ana and Jarvis.

So really, until he’d started to speak of it and compare it to what he knew of Loki and Thor’s upbringing, and even Tasha’s, he’d thought that his childhood had been rather ordinary. Tony walked over to where Loki was leaning against the windowsill, his head against the glass, and placed his hand on his shoulder.

“It’s only a couple of days, and then we’ll be out of here,” he said quietly. Loki didn’t respond, just raised his hand to rest on top of Tony’s and squeezed. “I’m sorry, for all this. I know it’s not my fault or my doing, but my father was a worse man than I think I’ve ever realised.”

Tony let his head fall onto Loki’s back and wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing kisses to the back of Loki’s neck. “We won’t be here long,” he repeated into the skin under his lips and Loki nodded just once. 

“Anthony. What was the room we passed? You looked terrified of it, darling.” 

Tony swallowed and his his face beneath Loki’s hair and into the flesh of his neck. “M-my mama… sh-she died in there. I saw it,” he whispered. “I n-n-never forgot. It’s why I… I can’t sp-speak.” 

Loki turned in his arms and kissed him, harsh and demanding until Tony went pliant and quiet in his arms. “You are amazing,” he said firmly, “and we are going to burn this house down.” Tony laughed and Loki smiled at him. “Well, perhaps not,” he amended. “We probably shouldn’t burn anymore properties down just yet.” Loki winked at him and Tony grinned, ducking his head into Loki’s chest. 

It was just a couple of days. 

_**~*~** _

“He’s here.”

Every head turned to face Phil and Clint where they stood at the windows. There had been rumours passing through the remaining Manor staff that the man known as Obadiah had pulled into town the night before. They’d been in Iron Reach for three days, and Sir Steven had been immediately sent to track down Sir James before night had fallen on the first day. The big blonde had just given Tony a firm hug and kissed his cheek, and left immediately, his big black horse Nomad tearing up the grass beneath him as they galloped out of sight.

And now, Obadiah had decided to show himself, riding up the drive of Iron Reach as though he were Lord here. Tony snorted a little at that thought, because as far as Obadiah knew, he was coming here to take over the Manor and Howard’s title. He had no idea that Stone had sold him out, nor that there had been other plans in the works before Tony set foot in the Manor.

So when he stepped out of his carriage, holding a hand out to escort a young woman with dark red hair out after him, Tony stood and went to the door with Jarvis.

Tasha hissed when she saw the woman’s face, and Clint had recoiled in shock. “ _ Wanda! _ ”

Tony flicked a curious glance at Natasha and Clint, but Phil was shaking his head and moving them into the dining room. So he drew his shoulders back and held his chin high as the there was a single knock on the door.

“Welcome, sir,” Jarvis said politely, opening the door and giving a polite nod to Obadiah. “May I enquire as to the purpose of your visit today? I fear since the Duke has passed that there is no longer any reason for you to drop by unannounced.”

Tony peered around the corner and caught his first glimpse of Obadiah Stane. He was a tall and balding fat man with a ridiculous moustache, his large stomach protruding over his waistband. The young woman at his side had big dark eyes and hair the colour of blood. Her lips were painted a deep burgundy to match her dress, and she instantly set all Tony’s nerves on edge.

“My business is with the kid,” Obadiah said eventually, his voice deep and cruel sounding. The woman beside him giggled and shot Jarvis a dark look.

“You would do well to simply let us in, servant.” Tony took a step back in surprise at the heavy accent of Natasha’s homeland obvious in her voice.  _ That explains her reaction _ . He felt Loki’s hand settle on his waist for a moment before he moved back out into the hall, leaving Tony alone again. 

It was time to play his part in all this now.

“C-c-can I help you, sir?” he asked softly, letting his stutter come through, worse than it had been in so long as he walked out to the entry.  _ Play it up _ , Phil had said. Vulnerability was the key here. Make Obadiah think he’d won and then Phil and Clint would obtain his confession to clear Rhodes name. Stone hadn’t known anything more of value about Obadiah other than he was the one who Howard had signed with and damned Tiberius in the process. They had no idea who the new third party in all this mess was, but Loki and Thor had their suspicions that it had simply been Tiberius using a different name.

Stane dragged his eyes over Tony. “Yes you can,” he smirked, and pushed past Jarvis to enter the house. “Your daddy owed me a lot of money, boy. I’m here to collect.”

Tony took an automatic step back, and shook his head. “M-my father is dead, sir,” he whispered, moving slowly into the room where Phil and Clint lay in wait. “I’m just here with m-my husband to check on the property. H-h-he will be b-back any minute, I’m sure.”

“Be that as it may, you’re the one who’s here now. I want what’s owed to me, boy. And I’m going to be taking it and  _ you _ as compensation for the delay in my payment.” He wandered further into the house, and Tony saw out of the corner of his eye as Phil and Clint moved into position on either side of him. “It’s no issue to me to let my little missy here  _ encourage _ you to follow me home. She’s been well-trained, after all.”

Tony didn’t dare move his eyes away from Obadiah’s advancing form, and he could see Jarvis waiting anxiously by the still open front door, the young woman standing in the entryway.

“I even came alone with her, as a gesture of good faith,” Obadiah continued, and made his way closer to Tony, who took another step backwards, slowly but surely leading Obadiah over to Clint and Phil. “So surely your  _ husband _ won’t mind if I just… take what’s owed, hm? He’s had a few good months with you by now, no doubt he’s had his fill.” Obadiah’s mouth was stretched in a depraved smile, his eyes dancing over Tony’s body.

“Do not be vulgar, Stane,” the woman said, her voice filled with contempt and her lip curled. “There is no need. Just snatch the boy and get the gold. Let us be gone from here before his husband returns.” She took a single step inside the house, and Jarvis moved.

The door clicked shut behind the young woman, and Natasha and Thor sprung into action. Natasha leapt, wrapping her legs about the woman’s neck and gripping her hair to subdue her while Thor moved to restrain her arms behind her back. He looked back at Clint and Phil pouncing onto Obadiah, and smiled.

“Well that was anticlimactic,” Clint whined, as he helped to bind the man’s fat wrists together and shove a rag into his mouth to gag him. “When are we gonna get to really use our skills? I wanted a fight, with swords and knives and someone to  _ punch _ . I hate that we’re so effective. It’s  _ boring _ .”

“Do be quiet, Clint.” Tony looked at where Phil was finishing the knots on Obadiah’s ankles and glaring up at Clint, who had his arms crossed and a pout on his face. “You should be grateful that these people are this stupid.”

“Yeah well, I’m not,” Clint mumbled and scuffed his feet. “I wanted a real fight for a change.”

“As did I, Clint,” Thor agreed sadly. “But, as the good Coulson says, we should take our blessings as they come and be glad that it did not devolve into enjoyable violence and mayhem.”

There were sighs then from Loki, Phil and Natasha, and Tony decided that he was with them on this one. Peaceful and boring was the best solution. Natasha had knelt down and resumed her fiercely whispered conversation with the woman in their native tongue, before she barked out a harsh sounding laugh Tony had never heard before. He stared at her as Natasha spat something vicious sounding at her and gave her a mockingly gentle pat on the cheek – almost what one would do for a toddler who had misunderstood. She stood then and dragged the woman over by her hair.

“This is the wench who killed your father, Tony,” Natasha said and shoved the woman forwards onto her knees, smiling when she grunted in pain at the impact. “She and this fat bastard here staged a wedding so your father would be informed and come to claim his  _ prima nocta _ rights. Then she slipped your knight’s blade between his ribs and framed him for the crime.”

Tony stared in disbelief at the woman kneeling before Natasha. “But… that’s  _ stupid _ ,” he said eventually. “Why on earth would you go to the trouble to frame Rhodes if you’ve stabbed him during  _ sex _ ?” The woman glared up at him and pressed her lips together into a thin line, refusing to answer him.

There was a muffled snort from behind him, and Tony knew without turning around that it had been Thor. “But it makes no sense,” he continued, ignoring the sounds of quiet laughter coming from Thor and Loki both. “If you were going to frame Rhodes, why not simply kill Howard here? Or in his bed? Why drag him out to a village an hour’s ride from here and then attempt to blame it on my  _ knight _ ? Not to mention, Rhodes is as close to married as a Knight can get! Everyone in these parts knows that!”

“She’s never been particularly bright,” Natasha said and yanked the woman’s head back with a handful of hair. “She was what we considered a failed pupil of the Red Room in Rutherglenn. It’s where people like Coulson and Clint learn their trade,” she said with a cruel smile. “And little Wanda here just didn’t have the brains or the stomach for it.”

Obadiah was grunting and shouting from behind his gag, and Tony rolled his eyes at it all. “She told Obadiah there that she was a top graduate who escaped Rutherglenn when my father died,” Natasha continued. “She is a fool, and so is he.”

“The most simple plans are usually the most effective, as we’ve proved with their capture” Phil said wisely. “But this is just… nonsensical.”

There were agreeing nods from everyone.

“Well, I must say that I am rather glad it did not devolve into bloodshed,” Jarvis spoke up then, and Ana hummed in agreement beside him. “Sir Steven returned not a half an hour ago, Milords and Lady. Shall I let him know it’s safe now to bring Sir James inside?”

“Please do, Jarvis, thankyou.” Jarvis gave a short bow to Loki, and hurried out of the room, Ana following along behind him.

“Clint, do not kick the prisoners,” Phil said calmly, pulling Clint away from where Obadiah and Wanda now sat on the floor. “We’re taking them back to face trial and execution.”

“But they deserve a kicking!”

“That’s not for you to decide. Cease.”

Tony could feel a headache building behind his eyes, and he wanted nothing more in that moment then to steal the carriage in the driveway, shove Loki inside of it and go  _ home. _

“ _ TONY!” _

He whipped his aching head around and nearly sobbed in relief when he saw who was standing in the hall. “Rhodes!”

Tony flung himself forwards into the other man’s arms, and wrapped his arms and legs around him, clinging fiercely to his middle. “I thought you were  _ dead _ or gone forever or something and these people are so  _ stupid _ !”

Rhodes laughed his deep, rumbly laugh that Tony had always loved and shifted him around a bit so his feet were back on the ground.

“I’ve missed you too, you little shit,” he grinned down at Tony and ruffled his hair. Tony snorted when he heard the unmistakable sound Steven made when he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh or not. “I can’t believe you let yourself get kidnapped! This whole thing is just a mess, isn’t it?”

Tony gave a miserable sniff and nodded. “Can you come to Aysgarth, Rhodes? You and Steven? I don’t like not having you there. It was cruel of Howard to make you come back right away. You missed my wedding.” 

He ignored the guilty little twitch Loki gave at the mention of their wedding and hugged Rhodes again. He’d missed him terribly.

Rhodes looked over to where Thor and Loki were standing, and tipped his head in an unasked question. Thor nodded and smiled, and Loki nodded as well. “Sure I can, Tones,” he said quietly. “I’ll follow you back with Steve, yeah? How about we clean up and pack, and we’ll get you and your husband home.” He gently pushed Tony back and kissed his forehead. “C’mon Steve,” he grabbed the blonde’s arm and towed him over to the staircase. “Guess we better pack our crap.”

_**~*~** _

“Frigga!” 

Loki watched with a fond smile as Anthony threw himself out of their carriage and into his mother’s arms. 

“I’m so glad you’re well, I was so w-worried when I woke up on the ship and they told me you were dead and then I was picking fruit and then Loki rescued me and - ” 

“Take a breath, little love,” Frigga laughed and Tony immediately closed his mouth with a snap. “I’ve missed you so, Tony. Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?” 

Anthony shook his head and hugged her tighter. “I’m not hurt,” he mumbled. “I’ve just missed you terribly, Moth-um, Frigga.” Anthony blushed and Loki could see the very tips of his ears had gone a bright red. He’d heard the little slip, and from the pleased look on his mother’s face, so had she. 

Frigga bent her head a little to rest against Anthony’s cheek and whispered something into his ear that Loki couldn’t catch, but judging from the happy little gasp that Anthony gave a moment later, he could work it out. Odin was next to embrace him, a fatherly hug that left Anthony speechless, and Loki wished again that there was some way for him to get to Howard Stark and make him  _ hurt _ . 

But he shoved all that bitterness and anger down, and focused the fact that he had his husband back, and they were home and safe. Anthony had left very strict instructions with Jarvis and Ana to empty the house out of Howard’s influences, clean it from top to bottom and turn it into a home for children. If they couldn’t have their own children, then Anthony would give them a Manor to fill with any they could find. 

Anthony was still chattering away with Frigga as they walked inside, telling her small details about where he’d been and what they’d seen, and she seemed perfectly happy to hold his hand and just listen. They had a late breakfast together with Odin, before Thor and Natasha excused themselves to unpack and freshen up. Odin went to the dungeons to check on Coulson and Clint’s prisoners, and Frigga announced she was going for a nap after all the excitement of their return. 

Loki followed Anthony up to their rooms, pleased beyond belief to find a bath drawn and waiting for him. Anthony flopped gracelessly, and face first, onto their bed with a moan of gratitude and promptly fell asleep. Loki decided to take his time then, and washed the dirt of travel and the dust of the Manor out of his hair. He watched Anthony’s chest rise and fall, and thought again of the blue gemstone he had hidden away. Perhaps he would take it to their jeweller and see if it could be sized and mounted into a necklace. 

He was content to let Anthony set the pace for the remainder of their day when he woke after lunch. They followed Miss Kanil as she bossed James and Steve into the kitchens for a proper meal before they were allowed to finish unpacking, and then Anthony asked if they might go to the place on the roof Loki had taken him during the dark weeks of winter. 

He was quiet as he followed Loki up the narrow stairs and out onto the small ledge, sitting himself down at the edge, dangling his legs out over the open ground. Loki sat soundlessly beside him, and they watched the breeze move through the trees and flowers, and listened to the birds singing as they built their nests. The grounds were green with springtime growth, and the flowers in full bloom – bright and brilliant bursts of colour everywhere they looked. 

“It’s more beautiful up here then I imagined it to be when it was dark,” Anthony said a while later with a happy sigh. “Thank you, Loki. For everything. For marrying me and rescuing me… for loving me. 

He leaned over and laid his head against Loki’s shoulder, and Loki turned to press a kiss into his windswept curls. “I will always be here for you, darling. No matter what, I will always be yours.” 

They sat a while longer, before it began to get dark and the faint sound of the dinner bell echoed up to them. They ate a quiet dinner with the rest of the family, before excusing themselves for an early night. Anthony laughed with delight when he saw the enormous bathtub had been filled with his favourite soaps and hot water and was stripped and sitting in it faster than Loki could keep up with. 

Loki blew the candles out around their rooms and opened the window by the bed to let the cool night breeze in, breathing deeply as the faint scent of jasmine and roses drifted in. He changed quickly into a lighter linen nightshirt and pants before climbing into bed to wait for Anthony. 

It was quiet and calm, the room cool and dark, the bed soft and familiar, and Loki felt his eyes growing heavy. When he next opened them, he had his arms full of his peacefully sleeping husband. He brushed a few wayward curls out of Anthony’s face and smiled when those big whisky eyes blinked blearily up at him. 

“Lo?” Anthony shifted and rolled himself up onto Loki’s chest, cuddling against his shoulder and pressing his lips to Loki’s neck. “Mmm, why’re you ‘wake?” 

“I’m not sure,” he said softly, and ran his hands down Anthony’s back, enjoying the full body shiver his husband gave at the touch, before making a pitiful little whining noise when Loki moved his hands away to run through his hair instead. “Are you alright darling?” 

Anthony snuffled into his neck and nodded. “I’m wide awake now,” he whispered, and Loki could feel him biting his lip. “Lo… um.” Anthony wiggled a little, and Loki groaned at the sensation of Anthony’s weight on his lap. “Oh Gods…” he mumbled and pushed his head up to capture Loki’s lips in a kiss. “Lo, I want you.” 

Loki was certain his heart stopped, and he shook his head briefly to make sure he wasn’t still asleep after all. “Y-you  _ what? _ ” A small, nervous chuckle escaped him. “Anthony, love, are you sure you don’t want to wait? I’m not wanting you to rush, not after all you’ve been through.” 

But Anthony was shaking his head and moving to sit up in Loki’s lap, making a point of grinding his weight down as he shrugged off his nightshirt. “Now. I’m ready now.” He leant down and kissed Loki again, and ran his hands up into Loki’s hair, tugging at it gently. “I’ve nearly had this taken from me, Lo. I don’t want to wait anymore,” he whispered, and Loki felt like he was suddenly on fire – hot from toe to tip as he rolled them over, bracing himself overtop of Anthony’s body.

“Are you sure?” Anthony nodded, eyes wide and pupils blown with want. Loki groaned and pressed their heads together. “I love you,” he breathed against his lips. “Anthony, I love you.” 

Anthony didn’t answer with words, choosing instead to unfasten the laces at the neck of Loki’s shirt and press his lips there before biting down firmly and digging his nails into Loki’s back as he urged him closer.

_**~*~** _

Tony woke slowly, and blinked drowsily at the dimly lit room. He was wrapped in Loki’s arms, their legs tangled together beneath the sheets and their naked bodies pressed close together. Tony stretched a little and squirmed at the feeling of half-dried oil and mess on his thighs. Loki muttered something in his sleep and pulled him back in closer, and Tony gave in to the siren call of more sleep. The mess could wait til later. 

He was sluggish and slow to dress and get going that morning, and when he sat gingerly at the table for breakfast, Natasha snorted her tea out of her nose.

“Oh shut up,” he grumbled, and felt his face burn bright red, grateful that neither Frigga nor Odin were with them this morning. Thor laughed loudly and just clapped Loki on the back, winking at Tony as he stood from the table. Loki just grinned into his toast, and accepted the good-natured teasing. 

Tony was happy. He caught himself humming as he wandered around the castle, following Loki as he checked in with Clint and Couslon about Obadiah and Wanda, before they made their way out into the gardens. 

“There’s no chance that they’ll escape the executioners axe,” Loki said. “They’ve confessed in front of two crown Prince’s and the King.” Tony just nodded and trailed his fingertips along a rosebush. 

“I’m happy,” he said softly, and turned to grin at Loki over his shoulder. “You’re speaking of executions and all I can think is how  _ happy _ I am right now.” Tony carefully picked the rose he was admiring, being mindful of the thorns and turned it about in his hands. The deep pinks of the petals faded to almost white at the edges, and he thought it was perhaps the most perfect rose he’d ever seen. 

“Did you notice that Miss Kanil has already gotten her hands on your Rhodes and his Steven?” 

Tony laughed and shook his head. “When did that happen?” 

Loki grinned at him. “I may have let it slip this morning, accidentally of course, that neither of them had eaten a proper meal in days, and if they were going to be your personal Knights… Well, she was waving about her skillet and yelling at them to sit and eat the last I saw them. Poor Steven looked rather like he may faint.” 

Tony threw his head back and laughed loudly, Loki chuckling along with him. “Loki,” he eventually wheezed, and wiped his streaming eyes. “That’s  _ wicked _ .” Loki just winked at him, and offered Tony his arm so they could keep walking. 

“Thor and Tasha were discussing children earlier when they thought we were not listening.” Loki glanced at him in surprise and Tony nodded. “I was though. I wouldn’t be surprised if they announce it soon, Lo.” 

Loki hummed softly in wonder and agreement. “A niece or nephew,” he whispered, and a small smile broke out on his face. Tony felt so warm and content then, and he tugged Loki down so he could kiss his cheek. 

“I love you,” he said softly as Loki stared at him with such naked affection on his face that Tony felt warm all over. “C’mon,” he threaded his arm through Loki’s and tugged him along. “Let’s go over this way.” 

They walked quietly for a while, Tony stopping now and then to admire some new flower or plant that he’d not seen before, and Loki explaining what it was called and what it was for. Some of the flowers meanings he knew, and pointed out the one’s to Tony that had meanings not in the book. 

“Anthony, I was wondering,” Loki paused when they reached a small wooden bench, and gestured for Tony to sit. He did and Tony carefully tucked his perfect rose into the end of Loki’s braid, before he looked up to see him fidgeting with something in his hands. “Darling, I found this gemstone in Tiberius Stone’s ship. I wondered if it might be something you’d like? To perhaps bring you comfort from your nightmares about the star in your chest?” He held out the odd blue stone that Tony had been admiring, Hel’s Tear. 

“Oh Loki,” he breathed and ran a gentle fingertip over it. “When I heard Thor say he’d sunk the ship I thought for sure it was gone!” He looked up into Loki’s eyes and grinned. “I’d love to wear it, beloved.” 

Loki smiled at him and tucked the stone back into his pocket. “Then I shall have it made into a necklace for you to wear above your heart.” He reached out and cupped Tony’s cheek, leaning in to press a chaste kiss against his lips. “Perhaps it will help to keep you safe.” 

Tony kissed him back, and laced their fingers together as Loki pulled him up from the bench. “Will you stay with me always, Loki?” he asked quietly and Loki gave him a warm smile, squeezing their linked hands. 

“As you wish.”

_**~*~** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking this out :D   
> Thank you for your comments and love ~ It makes writing so much fun to know you all get enjoyment out of it too xxTrips.

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thankyou and I Love You to the absolutely amazing and fantastic and just supremely awesome, UmbraeCalamitas, because without her constant encouragement, plot fixing and suggestions, this wouldn't exist. This is for you <3
> 
> (Come screech with me about marvel on tumblr! whinywingedwinchester there too!)


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